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  #1  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 08:51 AM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
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I was awake most of the night, and fantasizing about various things to help me get through the dark... I woke up again for the morning, and decided to get moving. I'm actively pushing those negative thoughts away, but only with the help of earbuds playing beats into my skull... I just have to make it through to 1pm, then... what? I have no idea. Just make it through till bedtime. Then just make it through till morning. Then keep picking small goals. Mornings are generally better. While I woke up with that same heart-racing shaking feeling, I'm doing better...
Here's to another day. Sometimes I'm not 100% sure what I fight through the feelings for when it only means fighting some more in a continuous loop...
Stay safe all.

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  #2  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 10:13 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Rain, when is your appt. with your T?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #3  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 11:06 AM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
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today at 1... and it's taking forever getting here... and I don't know what to talk to him about to help alleviate all this...

a check was supposed to come today to help us cover some things. It's still not here, and the mail came and went... this sucks so bad... why bother trying when it never comes through?
  #4  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 11:14 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Maybe share with him where you are at in that very moment during session? And tell him what you have been struggling with the last few days?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
ThisWayOut
  #5  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 11:26 AM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
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I do not know how it will help, but it is worth a shot I guess...
  #6  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 11:36 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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You have to start where you are at to work through things.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #7  
Old Mar 04, 2013, 03:57 PM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
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It was good talking to him. We covered some important things. I admitted i had cut last week. We talked about that. I was very triggered by the offer to do dbt there. I was ready at the thought of it, and we were able to talk a bit about it he offered to be there in the group too... I might take him up on that. I will either be triggered faster and wind up in the hospital faster, or i will get something out of it that is positive... still have to think about that piece... it may help having him in the group too. I don't know. I see him again in Wednesday. That is comforting. I just have to struggle through until then.
Hugs from:
Sannah
  #8  
Old Mar 05, 2013, 05:59 PM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
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so, I've had a second panic attack in the span of 8 days... I don't recall having panic attacks like this before... Today's was in walmart while waiting at the deli counter. I'm not sure at all what triggered it, but I suddenly needed to be done with shopping. My mom waited for the deli order, and I flew around the store grabbing what I could remember off the list we had. Then I made the mistake of asking my wife where she got the black beans for her dip last time, and she decided she wanted to make it today, but we needed more ingredients... so instead of hyperventilating in the middle of walmart and collapsing into sobs, I told them I was headed to the car. I just about ran. I put my headphones on and sat in the car rocking the rest of the time it took them to get out. I even had my wife drive home, because it wasn't really letting up. It triggered an overwhelming urge to self-injure. Suddenly, all I could think of was frantically trying to find something to hurt myself with, so I sat and rocked harder in the back seat of the car, blasting my music... Once we made it home, my panic continued (though leveled off) so I took an anxiety med to help calm me down (I was home now and had the ability to isolate myself to be able to si, so I thought meds might be a better response). Even that did not help. My wife came into the bedroom when I called her and held me for a while... I still really want to self-harm to make the anxiety leave completely, but I'm sitting in the living room trying to distract. I want to cry and hide and hurt myself. I really don't like this feeling... When I took the ativan, I had to fight the urge to take the whole bottle because I was so frantic to get rid of the panic...

I'm really glad I will be seeing my T again tomorrow and we can talk about this. I have no idea what's the trigger for these crazy and new panic attacks... I don't like them at all. I haven't really had a problem being out shopping before, especially when the place is so empty... I've had strong anxiety over being in a crowded and enclosed space, but not randomly in a huge store like that...

Has anyone had any experience with this? Does it correlate to anything you can think of? Does it make you want to si?
  #9  
Old Mar 06, 2013, 10:31 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Hi Rain, sorry that you had to experience that. I'm glad that your wife was there for you. I'm also glad that you are going to talk this over with your T. Here is a website that you might find interesting.

Overcoming Panic Attacks: A Five Step Response
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
ThisWayOut
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