really just wanting to give in

my head is so all-over-the-place that I just want to self-harm to make it stop. I want some semblance of things being "back to normal" and me being either non-functional, or on track, but not this crazy roller-coaster I'm currently on. My moods shift with the minute, and they shift drastically. I want to be able to balance myself, and like someone elsewhere pointed out, the alternates to self-harm just don't work. And I can't pay attention to anything for long, because I'm just obsessing over not self-harming. ugh!

Sorry things are getting bad for you. Can you have anyone stay with you too keep you safe? When I start obessing about self harm I ultimately do it. I hope you can get the urges under control. They can be so powerful sometimes.

I live with my wife and my mom. I can't bring myself to tell them because I finally got some space from the constant baby-sitting. I feel like if I could just do it, things would calm down again. But it comes with it's own drama. :/

i know I shouldn't, but... I just wish I could.

I know how that feels. Sometimes I just take something and go to sleep. I usually feel better after some time and the urges fade. Stay strong. Hurting yourself will only make you feel better for a short time and then you will have your love ones worried and overbearing again. Try your best to stay strong.

So it was really good that I did not give in yesterday. My wife and I were able to "have fun" last night and it was on my mind, but I want ashamed because it had been a few days and she had no idea. I know if I had given in, nothing would have happened and she would have been frustrated with me again. I still want to self harm, but glad I had not done it yesterday.
Now I just need to find a t I am comfortable talking about all this with, as it is certainly not my male t...

Does anyone else feel "unsexy" or "untouchable" because if the self harm? Sometimes it creeps me out just getting a hug because I feel so broken and damaged that I may hurt the other person with the slightest contact. I don't even want to hold hands sometimes because I feel so ashamed of myself...

and at 11am, I want to destroy myself again... I hate this up and down with no outlet...

I feel a lot of shame. I don't feel comfortable with my scars. Even with my wife. I wish she would be there and make me feel accepted, but she mostly ignores it. Your not alone.

I'm happy you held off the urges. You should be proud of yourself. Everyday you can fight it is a victory. Take care of yourself.