Yes Hereiam. I know exactly what you mean when you say the "habit" is broken and now all thats left is the "urge". The "habit" is broken. Cutting is no longer my first thought when things get going. I use my coping skills of journaling, drawing, containment box, walking and biking now first. The "urge" is all thats left kind of like a scab itching and wanting to be scraped off. If I keep fighting the "urge" like the "habit" the urge will lessen and become managable. I know this logically but mentally the "urge" now builds up. I will keep fighting it. And yes we have months under our belts and maybe together we can keep fighting it. So heres a thread spcefically for us (and anyone else) wanting the daily buddy system of "checking in".

This is NOT meant for people posting they have a razor or other preferred objects in hand at the moment of posting. For that needs the attention of the persons Emergency Room, Ambulance, Therapy personnel, physician. This is for anyone that wants to "check in" and say on a scale of 1-10 how they are doing and what they are doing to help themselves.

Scale

1=no thoughts, (no cutting plans being thought of)

2=a rare passing thought, (no cutting plans being thought of)

3=occasional thoughts scattered here and there but I can still keep on track of my daily activities. (no cutting plans being thought of)

4= Constant thoughts,not strong urges but causing interference with my daily activities. (no cutting plans being thought of)

5=Thoughts moving into the rare starting to really want it craving urges. I am going to ....(fill in with positive activity or coping tool)

6=rare cravings moving up into occasional urges that are harder to fight. I have tried ....(positive coping tool and outcome) I am going to try....(positive coping tool)

7=losing ground need some ideas here....

8=Starting to see me looking for the how and whats. keeping (or making) my emergency list of contacts (friends, relatives, therapists, doctors)that can help me if I reach 9. Keep the coping tools and ideas coming..
(be sure to tell which ones you have tried and the outcome so that others know what works and doesnt and can suggest things not tried yet.)

9=I know what I want to do and how I want to do it. I am calling my therapist

10=Therapist has recommended inpatient care. See you when I get back.

right now I am a 3. I have already been out for my daily walk. Today is much quieter/calmer than my level 6 of yesterday.

[jetblackaura]

This sounds like a good idea!!

Thank you. and thanks goes to HereIam for posting we should try together in another thread. That's where this idea comes from. take care.

[hereiam]

This is SUCH a wonderful idea, myself!

Right now, I'm at...probably about a 3. But this is the middle of the day, and it's night time that is my problem.

Unfortunately, my therapist doesn't know and I don't go to her while at university. 9 and 10 might not be my thing. And 8, well...no one else knows for me, so I can't really have an emergency contact list. But other than that the list is awesome and I thank you for taking the time out to make it.

Good luck to us and everyone else out there trying to quit!

Your at university.. what about your guidance counselor, university nurse or a caring professor that you can trust.. and this thread could be a positive way to let your therapist in on the fact that you do this and you are actively working on it and just need her to be there to listen if you call.

My nights are hard too so Ill probably be "checking in" at least once or more a night.

[hereiam]

That's true. I just don't want to disappoint her, or worry her, or have her think something is seriously wrong with me or something. Plus, the fact that this stuff gets written on your chart and is there for eternity...it just means its written somewhere that I can't hide, and isn't available to only me. I don't know how I feel about that.

I don't trust anyone enough to tell them. I probably won't ever trust anyone enough. It's okay though, I'm learning to deal with it on my own and while it's harder it's helping me to learn to be self-sufficent. Or it's closing me off from people who want to help. Either/or.

I don't know your therapist but If she reacts like my present one she will not be disappointed or worried. Reading this thread will show her you are acting responsibly and taking care of yourself in a great and healthy way. Sometimes therapists don't write everything down in the files. Cutting can fall into many broader diagnosis type areas. such as PTSD (intrusive thoughts and actions). most therapy agencies in the US now keep their files very broad and very discrete because of courts being able to get access to therapy files. Talk to your therapist maybe her/his office follows such broad file protocals. And yes a person can do this on their own. 98% of my therapy is solo work. take care. heres luck to us both at holding our 3's have a great day.

[hereiam]

7

just came on. have you tried to write, draw, take a walk or relaxing music yet? That always helps me at least as a distraction. Let me know what you have tried so that I know if they are working or not so I don't load a post with things already tried. I'll be on for a bit. Not sure how long. I didn't sleep much last night so I took some benedryl to help slow me down a bit. My level right now is a 4. Im checking in here, reading the boards and playing a majong game on yahoo until the benedryl starts to kick in. Hang in there.

[hereiam]

hey. i wrote, but that was about it. my anxiety was still pretty high. i did okay though, didnt cut, etc.

[tamzinrose]

Can I join this system?

Sure can. welcome aboard. We can all make it together.

Alright way to go. One more day passed successfully.

Right now my level is 2. I had one thought as I woke up but nothing since

[tamzinrose]

Thanks for letting me join. I'm a 4 right now.

[hereiam]

Anyone who is actively trying to quit and making the effort can join.

thats right come on come all. the more the better. in fact the more we have the chances of helping when someone checks in having a hard time and needs ideas there will be someone here.

Im kind of mixing things here - taking a bit of this coping tool and that coping tool to fit what we need.

We all know how to dial a phone and call a crisis center but we don't aways do that with cutting. Why? because when we call for something as simple as I need some more ideas here we end up in the hospital for what ? trying to help ourselves. So here is immediate help with positive coping skill ideas without the fear of hospitals.

Alot of people have been known to get too dependant on their therapists and want them to "fix me" or they have been unjustly accused of being too dependant on a therapist so they are afraid to reach out for help with how to cope with this.

Here on this thread everyone is responsible for their own behavior. Everyone posts their levels daily. And when in the danger zones posts what positive things they have tried and how it worked or didn't. And the person holds themselves responsible for trying the ideas that others post to them and reporting back to everyone if it worked or didn't and how.

No one here can fix another. We can suggest what to try but only the person themselves can stop the cutting.

This isn't a therapist run group or a "in an office" therapy session. We will not be going into detail about what is behind or underneath the cutting. That needs to be addressed by everyones own therapy professional.

What we are doing in this thread is just focusing on actively using other coping tools instead of cutting.

Anyone who is serious about helping themselves and will actively try the suggestions and reporting your levels and how the coping tools worked for them and are willing to list positive coping tools for others to try are welcome.

My level right now is a 2. The day started out to be a 4. When the first thought came I got dressed and took a walk to the store and back. On the way I stopped and fed the ducks by the bridge and by the time I got back home I was feeling much better and no thoughts.

[blackdragon]

congrats

[hereiam]

I'm at a 1. No thoughts yet. I'm sure that will change by tonight, but oh well.

Congrats, myself.

[Beautiful_Pain]

*hops in* I'm a 1 today =) Well, right now anyway...will it bother anyone if I post when I move on the scale? I tend to check in often and if I'm better or worse I would think it would be helpful to me to post...may help me narrow down the focus to a trigger or what makes me happy. =)

[tamzinrose]

Pretty high on the scale right now. Have a German oral tomorrow morning and it's freaking me. But I'm gonna go learn it instead.

[hereiam]

Good call. This way you're being productive in learning the material, not self-injuring, and by studying harder you'll feel better about the oral coming up. Good job!

No limits on check in times and amounts other than at least once daily. Come chck in as often as you want and need to. All that matters is we are taking control of and working to end the cutting instead of the cutting controling us

Think of this as a running log for yourself. Some days I may check in once a day and others 2 or 3. I know I can commit to at least once a day.

Thank you black dragon. And welcome aboard. How are you today?

Thanks

Fantastic

Exactly with the "oh well" pass that worry on by for what may or may not happen later and enjoy the moment. You have a great day