Here's to trying together

I don't think I've checked in for a while. Guess I should. Feeling pretty low right now, and pretty high on the scale. Gonna distract myself with TV and a bath.

<font color="green">Hi, I am at a level 5 still, but keeping busy and around people. I am at a point that if I can't easily find the privacy to cut I won't, but if it was to get worse I know I would find a way, cause I have in the past. So keeping busy and avoiding being all alone. </font>

Tamzinrose and dalila glad to see you checking in. great job at keeping yourselves on track.

Tonight Im about a 4 but I am still able to do things and stay on track. nite all and hang in there.

I can forget any day of the week but thursdays come along and say Im here with a bang. 5 on the scale right now. Just took some tylenol extra strength for the normal physical pain so that once that kicks in I can figure out what to do for the rest of me. I will not cut today for I have a friends child here in a bit and I was told she is looking forwards to going to mcdonalds for lunch and play on the indoors playground. Who knows I just might get on that slide myself LOL wouldn't be the first time and won't be the last. We will also be feeding the ducks if it is not raining. without a doubt I am going to be having fun today playing trouble and candyland and watching carebears. a nice touch to my normally tough urge fillled thurday. Seems good to have this distraction and fun in my day.

Im back to a 2 today. hope everyone else is doing ok. good luck to all and have a great day.

I am at a 4 tonight.

Im at a 3 right now but earlier I hit a 6. I brought myself down from it by writing in my journal about the situation then I took a walk around the block in the rain. then came home and listened to the relaxation tape my therapist had made me while sitting in the bathtub in my bathing suit, some bubbles and dyed the grey out of my hair while drawing (while the dye had to sit on my head) then when my hair was its natural/box colored dark brown I got out and drove my cat nuts by attaching a string to my crutches and walking as fast as I could around the dining table until both cat and I had enough, then I ate a late dinner in front of the tv, and on and off logged in here reading. Im tired but not enough to sleep yet. But at least I know I made it through one more day and one more stressfull situation. Hang in there delila maybe some of these things can help you.

I am at a calm 2. As I woke up a few minutes ago the thought was there but just as fast I remembered a coping tool that a friend reminded me of earlier. My level started to climb again so I grabbed my emergency list and called a friend. That friend in a sound sleep sits up and says ok here's what we are going to do go to the freezer and open the door. I did. She asked me to name of the contents so I did. When I reached vanilla ice cream she told me to take it out so I did. She told me to open the silver ware draw and I did. She said to take out a spoon so I did. She told me open the cupboard and take out a bowl and to put 5 spoons of ice cream in the bowl. So I did. By this time Im thinking I don't want to eat ice cream I want to cut. and told her so. She told me to just do what she says it wasn't up for debate and if I hung up the phone she would be at my door pounding hard enough to wake up every neighbor in this place. Then she told me to open my drawer next to where I got the spoon from so I did it then she had me take out two candles the 0, 1, and 3 and told me to put them on the ice cream first 1, then 0 then 3. Obviously I am not 103 years old but was not about to question her motives again since I was the one that called her. She then told me to light them and close by eyes when I did she sang - Happy aniversery to you, Happy aniversery to you happy aniversery you have made it 10 months and 3 days, happy aniversery to you. then she told me since I have met my goal of 10 months I have permission to cut once if I still wanted to OR I can set another goal for myself...

I stood there thinking... I lasted over 10 months?! what just happened here -

When I called her even in sleepy head she Broke things down into accomplishable goals

AND

Made sure that I celebrated my accomplishment of reaching my goal I had set for myself last month

now I can either get my much craved for release or set a new goal - What did I tell her?

Hell lets set that new goal - heres to11 months.

So folks when all else fails try breaking things down into accomplishable goals and celebrate your reaching those goals. I made it through the night by setting one accomplishable gaol after another and went I met those goals celebrated it. I am now back on track.

Good luck to all.

yay that's great and so sweet

Thanks and yes it sure was sweet and yummy I topped it basically turned it into a banana split and with every mouthful was proud of myself for making it 10 months and having this friend that can bring me back to whats important - first ME and then second my being in control of the choice to cut instead of the urges controling me.

good moring (or afternoon)

I am at a 1 right now. how about everyone else? hope you are all hanging in there.

<font color="green">I think I am at a 4 now -- was a lot higher earlier but knowing tomorrow is therapy I feel better and sort of proud for having made it for another two weeks between appointments. </font>

great job and have a great session.

Im a 2 right now. Night time always brings my level up some. But I have my tape, doll, blanket and cat in bed so I will be ok.

I have stayed a 1 all day in fact I almost forgot to check in today because I wasnt having any thoughts of self injury today. LOL night all have a good night.

I am a 3 right now. Not specifically cutting just other self injury thoughts bouncing around. I will be on line and I will also be taking my daily walk today with my walkman, relaxation music and practicing one of Nancy J Napiers walking meditations and one of her conscious living exercises.. I think I will pick up some dry top romen and take time to feed the ducks, seagulls and cranes along the bike path too. At some point today I will also be calling my therapist. I remembered last night I was supposed to call her to set up this weeks appointment. The tape recording we did is working so well for my panic attacks and so on that I didn't think about the plans for the next session until last night when I was drawing and listening to the tape to fight the urges after a nightmare.

I haven't checked in in a while. Been pretty up and down the scale lately. Haven't slipped up yet, and trying not to. Bout a 6 right now, so I'm gonna be doing homework for a couple of hours. Joy.

Way to go Joy. you're doing great. if the focusing on homework doesn't work how about putting on your favorite song and singing with it. Sometimes I even pretend to be singing in concert with my favorite singer and go through the whole cd. and Taking a walk around the block while trying to find one thing that is different from the last time you were outside.

Im at a 1 right now. My day is a slow one today. No real plans so I will probably be working some more on editing and updating one of my books.

I am a 1 again today. have a great day everyone. be back later on and off today. Time to take my daily walk.

Yeah I don't think I'm on the scale right now. Just bored.

right now I have no thoughts so I am a 1 on the scale. Good afternoon everyone. glad to see you tamzinerose.

<font color="green">I have a hard time remembering the scale to use so if I am too low or too high please forgive me.

I am around a 5 tonight, I was close to being off the scale but have managed to calm down by surfing and noshing. I have been struggling with thoughts of suicide as well as wanting to cut but so far have been good. I promised my therapist that I would hold out for another two weeks(till my next appointment). </font>

hey there dalila hi and thats ok. The only way I remember the scale is because I have it printed out and taped to my desk. I also click on page one before checking out the rest of the posts on the thread that way when I get to the last post I already know where I am on the scale.

I am a 1 which is no thoughts or urges. Its wet and rainy here so today I am going to clean my house, do some cooking for the week. I like to cook and then freeze things in serving sizes so that on the days I don't feel like cooking and or am struggling with the urges and thoughts I have a variety of nutricious meals all made. This cuts down on the burning myself on the stove, or cutting during the prep of meals this way. So easy to do those things when you have a lagit reason like oops I didn't mean it, (but I really did), I was just cooking...

I was here there and everywhere yesterday so I forgot to "check in" I was a 2 yesterday and today the same - a 2. The relaxation music and tapes that I have are working great. When an urge or thought pops up I take a break with them from whatever I am doing and then Im back on track. I hope you all are having a good day. Take care.

<font color="green">Today was a bit of a struggle. I lost my wedding ring -- have lost so much weight that it doesn't fit and just fell off somewhere I also lost my palmpilot without which I am just lost. Then I misread my calendar and raced into town for a doctor's appointment that is nearly a full month away! I wanted to cut so much! I was probably up to a 6. I went shopping for a while and spent some time with my granddaughter; easing back into a 4. Tonight, I am back to a 5 I want to, I can see it, but I am not gonna do it. </font>

glad to see you made it through. your doing great. Sorry I wasnt on here much yesterday or today for you.
Hope your doing ok today.

I have pretty much stayed at a 4 today. I managed this by getting up on time today and got out went shopping and then did some laundry, spent some time talking with a few friends.