SI Daily Check In

Doing ok.. not great though so the urges are there. Managing to get by at the moment though. Just need to hold out a few more hours.

SI getting worse, cutting pretty much daily. My T gave me the rubber band idea, which kind of helps but doesn't last near as long and isn't as effective. We are trying to find things that will give me the same desired effect but idk if anything will come close. Finding it hard to quit when cutting, always wanting that "one more" to be satisfied.

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14 days....urges are really strong though and I don't think I will be successful in fighting them

No urges thankfully, was having some strong ones last night

I didnt at all yesterday! But the day before was really bad cutting wise, just wanting to go deeper. I also felt like my hands were empty and had holes in them, I know that sounds weird, so I was beating my palms with objects. Anyone else have an experience similar to that?

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No urges. I seem to be doing good for now. I hope it stays this way.

Having a really rough night

Nearly caved in last night. Woke up in the middle of the night because of severe toothache and I thought of hurting my arm to kind of transfer the pain. A "the brain can only process one pain at a time" thing. But I didn't.

Still having urges but haven't gave in

I admit I did it. But it wasn't for the usual reasons. It wasn't due to depression, or apathy, or numbness. But rather anger. I've been so irritable these past two days. Now I'm a bit bruised up. Okay, more than a bit. I just felt like I couldn't calm myself down. At all. Praying this all isn't because of the meds. I was doing so well on them. But I suddenly... I don't know. This feels like an episode. Worse than any I've had yet. I was pretty rough on myself. Yikes.

Haven't si'd since the 3rd. My parents found out that I continued to injure myself.. as well as my psychologist. Part of me wants to stop, but at the same time I feel like I deserve it.

Terrible urges.

Have had an extremely stressful few days which would normally send me into a tailspin but I'm actually doing ok. Urges are there but am managing to get through them.

No urges the past few days

Back to having strong urges

So angry at myself! I don't know whether cutting will make me feel better or worse at this point! Ugh!!!!! Punched a wall and cut my knuckles and now the pain has worn off from that and all I want is to feel pain!

Lasted a day out of the hospital not cutting. I didn't even want to do it, I am just so anxious and the medication is not working as well now that I am back in the real world. I think I deliberately sabotaged myself.

Told my dad about my cutting yesterday and haven't had an a large urge since. Thought about it a lot. Feel really guilty about it.

No urges today

Such a strong urge last night and I didn't do it. I had to really struggle with myself. It's been creeping up often in my mind lately even though it's been two months since I last harmed.
Then today, I put my hand in my bag for my ipod and pulled it out and one of my old blades was stuck to the magnet on the ipod cover. I think it was a sign, no joke.

Last night/early this morning, I had really bad urges. I had something trigger me, and it was really strong - I felt useless, stupid, naïve, immature, and so terrible about myself, and I thought about how wonderful it would feel to just give in, and let my worries and insecurities bleed out... but then I remembered some of the things that I've read on the SI forum, of where people were before, and how they've overcome it. Hearing people's stories, and seeing how strong they were, and how much they believed in me... and I knew I couldn't disappoint myself again. It was really difficult, and I cried, and cried, and cried myself to sleep... But when I woke up this morning, I felt better. I was still sad, but my urges weren't there anymore, and I felt really happy that I didn't give in.

Well done falsememory for holding out. This definitely is a great place for support and inspiration.

Hope everything is going ok

Thanks so much mazing, it really means SO MUCH to have your support

Bad day today, fought the urges as long as I can but I don't think I can any longer. The only reason I have fought them is because I don't trust myself. I don't even care right now.

Very strong urges today, things seem hopeless but I'm trying to not slip up

Same for me. It's been since yesterday. I'm feeling pretty bad, but SI always ends up making me feel worse in the long run, so I'm trying to push away the urge.

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