[hopeless19]

Hi, i'm really struggling at the moment. I can't stop self harming lately. I can't seem to stop myself anymore. I can't seem to keep distracting myself anymore it just doesn't seem to work very often. Part of me hates myself for doing it and feels stupid about it but part of me feels like I need to do it. I'm also suicidal and have been having visions. I'm in a really bad place I feel like I have no one to support me other than my doctor and I don't know what to do anymore Thank you to anyone who replies x

[Parapixine]

Originally Posted by hopeless19

I can't seem to keep distracting myself anymore it just doesn't seem to work very often. Part of me hates myself for doing it and feels stupid about it but part of me feels like I need to do it. I'm also suicidal

I've been like this recently too and haven't managed to turn up to school for the last few days; anyway maybe you could try to limit your self harming and arrange to meet with your doctor soon, also starting a diary/journal (if you don't already have one) can be cathartic. I usually just write down anything that's having a big effect on me or when I'm struggling.
Good luck and stay strong x

[Sharp_Lace]

I know how you feel. Remeber to tell your doctor about the thoughts and visions.

We are here to support you though.

It's also good to find a distraction in times like that. Maybe pick up a new hobby. Like rock collecting or something you can just start doing.

Feel free to send me a message or something Im always happy to chat!

[hopeless19]

Thanks both of you. Just feeling so bad tonight had a rubbish day and no one cares or wants to help me anymore. I will definitely end up killing myself, it's just a question of how and when.

I feel "dead" and I'm a recoving self harmer. I haven't cut since 45 days ago. I feel bad when I do it and don't do it too. I feel worse when I do it though. I got tried of it after this summer, when I finaly facebooked a friend and my family found out that way. If I want to hurt myself, I just stop shaving my legs for a few weeks until my thoughts are not a problem at the moment anymore.

[hopeless19]

Sorry to hear cats It sucks doesnt it! x

[falsememory7]

hey hopeless, I know how you feel, and i'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm a recovering SIer, and I did it for countless years - I got so addicted, I wound up doing it several times a day just to be able to function. I was so lonely, and so depressed, and so blocked off from the world. Although I haven't SIed in nearly six months, the urges are still there, and I still have terrible triggers that make me want to relapse. I still feel lonely and helpless sometimes, but things definitely do get better. I noticed that you'll definitely kill yourself, and nobody cares - but I care! It breaks my heart that you feel this way, and there's so many things that I want to tell you, that we can talk about, and I would love to get to know you, and help take your pain away. I care about you, so please just try to hang in there, okay? feel free to pm me if you want to talk, or to ramble about random things just know that things DO get better

[mazing]

I completely agree with falsememory. There are a lot of people here who care and are always here to listen or offer a virtual shoulder to lean on when you need us

One thing I learnt recently is to always prioritise. It SI is the only thing you can think of that will help stop sui thoughts or actions it is in many ways understandable - it is a coping mechanism for you when everything else you try to cope fails. But it won't always be this way. In time, the stress will ease again and it will be possible to manage the urges again.

Can you talk to your doctor about how much you are struggling? They might have some suggestions on how to help and get you through this.

Also, I found when I was really struggling again I would still try distraction and resisting the urges but break it down a lot more. If I could stop for 30 seconds when the urges hit the first time that was good. Next time I would try to resist for 45 seconds. And try to slowly build up from there. It might not sound like a massive thing but it helps your brain to process some of the pain and realise that you can survive periods without SI.

Hang in there We are here for you and always around if you need to vent or just want to talk