Its been 3 years since I have cut myself...
lately my depression has got really bad and I have been having thoughts of cutting or committing suicide..
I haven't tried either but its just so hard to keep having these thoughts...
I am just tired of suffering through this pain...
I know I am not the only one..
The numbness, the depression... hopelessness..
My intrusive thoughts and anxiety have gotten worse as well and I am just so tired of it all...
I called the crisis hotline tonight 3 times and ended up hanging up each time because I feel so pathetic calling. The idea of telling your problems over the phone has been so hard to grasp I never do I have a therapist for that..

any advice on how to distract?

[Lobster Hands]

I really don't know because I do the exact same thing.

The only thing I can even say is to do what you/we are doing right now...and that is being on this site conversing in some form with people. It may not be of any comfort to you to know that other people are going through the same thing at the same time as you, but it is to me.

I know that's not the right answer...I'm 20 and inexperienced so don't be too harsh on me.

Sorry my concentration is really bad right now, I struggled 15 minutes to write this and it's still fragmented and seemingly incoherent. Just know that at least I feel for ya.

Im in the same boat. Im sorry I cant help. I have called so many people for help today but no one can help me either. Goodluck on getting through your day

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Can you contact your therapist maybe?

It can be really difficult to distract, but some things that work for me are:
-listening to music I like,
-art to try to express some of what I'm feeling (or wanting to do to myself at the time. And it doesn't have to be a masterpiece),
-taking a long walk with my dogs (sometimes I justify their crappy leash manners as added distraction),
-watch an intensely- engaging show or movie (I find really graphic things help me distract and get some relief from the urges because I'm visually "indulging" them by watching really graphic shows),
- journaling,
-using the crisis chart line at crisischat.org because I type easier than I speak...

I hope you can find some safe relief.

Also, congrats on the three years, that's incredible! Is there anything you can think of that you have done in those three years that helped you through difficult times?

[someone321]

Manic: what does help me is actually that I try focusing on this thought: I managed so long without doing that, is it really a way which I want to take? have I forgotten that it helped only for a short time, that the moral hangover after that was really really bad? Do I really want to be at the same place as I was x years ago? I was so proud of myself when I stopped doing it and I know that it is like an addiction, so I make a long list of things which I promise myself to do before any SI, and I have never had the need to go through the whole list...

Originally Posted by Supanova

Im in the same boat. Im sorry I cant help. I have called so many people for help today but no one can help me either. Goodluck on getting through your day

I hope you find the help you need to , if you need you can add/message me I will try to be there for you

Originally Posted by someone321

Manic: what does help me is actually that I try focusing on this thought: I managed so long without doing that, is it really a way which I want to take? have I forgotten that it helped only for a short time, that the moral hangover after that was really really bad? Do I really want to be at the same place as I was x years ago? I was so proud of myself when I stopped doing it and I know that it is like an addiction, so I make a long list of things which I promise myself to do before any SI, and I have never had the need to go through the whole list...

I sometimes think of that too, thank you soo much for your reply.

Originally Posted by MdngtRain

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Can you contact your therapist maybe?

It can be really difficult to distract, but some things that work for me are:
-listening to music I like,
-art to try to express some of what I'm feeling (or wanting to do to myself at the time. And it doesn't have to be a masterpiece),
-taking a long walk with my dogs (sometimes I justify their crappy leash manners as added distraction),
-watch an intensely- engaging show or movie (I find really graphic things help me distract and get some relief from the urges because I'm visually "indulging" them by watching really graphic shows),
- journaling,
-using the crisis chart line at crisischat.org because I type easier than I speak...

I hope you can find some safe relief.

Also, congrats on the three years, that's incredible! Is there anything you can think of that you have done in those three years that helped you through difficult times?

I was listening to music that describes how I feel but it made it worse, but the movie/show idea or Using the crisis chat might help and I did journal around the time I posted this... it usually works but last night was bad. thank you so much for your reply.

[waggiedog]

Yes I feel the same way, sometimes I wish I'd just give in and do both and done with it. I have the most useless Psych Dr ever, the worse thing is I can't think of one single reason why I shouldn't do both these things ~ no one would know or care, least of all me. x

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Yes I feel the same way, sometimes I wish I'd just give in and do both and done with it. I have the most useless Psych Dr ever, the worse thing is I can't think of one single reason why I shouldn't do both these things ~ no one would know or care, least of all me. x

I would care. I may not know you but I understand some of what you are going through. I am here for you. thank you for your reply!

[11losin_it_all11]

3 years Wow! That's so amazing so I must say you're a trooper to have made it that far!

And what I've learnt is distraction is best. I often seek little hobbies that I can do. For example, I started making kandi. I don't rave or anything, it's just a really good distraction. I also went through phases of drawing, running, gaming, puzzles (a really good one for me) and so on. Just find something that you can completely submerge yourself in, that takes your whole brain. I often forget the feeling temporarily. That being said, it might not work for you. I hope it does though.

Just, like people said previously, take it minute by minute, hour by hour and so on. Wishing you the best.

[RTerroni]

That is great to hear

Originally Posted by 11losin_it_all11

3 years Wow! That's so amazing so I must say you're a trooper to have made it that far!

And what I've learnt is distraction is best. I often seek little hobbies that I can do. For example, I started making kandi. I don't rave or anything, it's just a really good distraction. I also went through phases of drawing, running, gaming, puzzles (a really good one for me) and so on. Just find something that you can completely submerge yourself in, that takes your whole brain. I often forget the feeling temporarily. That being said, it might not work for you. I hope it does though.

Just, like people said previously, take it minute by minute, hour by hour and so on. Wishing you the best.

I been thinking of what I want to do . I almost bought a new puzzle at BAM the other day and I've been thinking of learning to Crocheting or knitting .I love crafts, games, and art.. for now I've been taking random quizes online like funny stuff like "What Frozen Song are you?" or "What Fandom do you truly belong to?" haha
it helped thank you.

Originally Posted by Lobster Hands...

I really don't know because I do the exact same thing.

The only thing I can even say is to do what you/we are doing right now...and that is being on this site conversing in some form with people. It may not be of any comfort to you to know that other people are going through the same thing at the same time as you, but it is to me.

I know that's not the right answer...I'm 20 and inexperienced so don't be too harsh on me.

Sorry my concentration is really bad right now, I struggled 15 minutes to write this and it's still fragmented and seemingly incoherent. Just know that at least I feel for ya.

It's okay I feel like my concentration is bad when typing stuff on here too. thank you for your reply it means alot!

Originally Posted by RTerroni

That is great to hear

Thank you