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#1
Dec 05, 2006, 11:08 PM
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I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
 I am the biggest freaking idiot in the history of the world, and I never freaking learn. I understand completely right now why some people choose to shoot themselves. But my weapon of choice is a blade. The thoughts of stabbing myself in the heart to watch it bleed and get all the crap out sounds pretty darn appealing right now.  (consider that me yelling at myself for being an incredible freaking idiot)I don't deserve to live. I thoroughly deserve to hurt, though. I've never understood homicidal people, though I've been inpatient with some -- I've never had the urge to hurt anyone else. Hurting myself, that I understand, and that I have coming.  ARGH
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#2
Dec 05, 2006, 11:21 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((Candybear))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry you must be hurting so badly. I know it is hard for you to belive right now but you really aren't the biggest idiot nor do you deserve to hurt yourself. I wish I could take away the rage you are feeling towards yourself. I guess I don't know what triggered all of this but I hope you soon realize that you don't need to hurt yourself. I know that sometimes that is very difficult at the time and I fully understand your feelings. Please try and be safe. I know I would hate to see you hurt yourself. You really don't have anything coming. Maybe you can come under my umbrella with me for a bit and we will just be.
 Pleae take care and know I care.
__________________
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#3
Dec 06, 2006, 12:05 AM
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(((((((candybear))))))))) I am sorry you feel bad. I wish there was some way to help you feel better.
I hope this passes soon because you don't deserve this pain. BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#4
Dec 06, 2006, 03:10 PM
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Hello I hope things get better for you soon. I really hope that you call your Dr and therapist and let them know how you are feeling so that they can help you at this time. You do not have to suffer alone, when you feel this bad. Take care I hope you feel better soon. Sincerely Soidhonia
__________________
The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#5
Dec 06, 2006, 03:12 PM
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I've only lived here a month, and my insurance just started 12-1. I have neither a pdoc nor a therapist right now ... a huge part of the problem!
 I called to see if I could get in with the pdoc earlier than my Jan. 3 appt., but since I'm a brand-new patient and she will have to do an intake, that's the best they could do.So yeah, suffer alone it is. |
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#6
Dec 06, 2006, 03:40 PM
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if all else fails , go to the ER, they can't turn you away
Please take care Love ya Angie
__________________
 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#7
Dec 06, 2006, 04:06 PM
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(((((((Candybear))))) Please stay safe.
__________________
 complic8d"Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-your reality I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge The nightmare I built my own world to escape." ♥evanescence♥
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#8
Dec 06, 2006, 05:16 PM
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(((((Candybear))))) Don't really know what to say...other than that you do deserve to live, and you don't deserve to hurt. Sorry you're feeling so bad, hope it doesn't last.
__________________
Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand... |
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