[sujunew]

Last week it was like an addiction
If i hadn't done it i had to
or i couldn't sleep
then the urge went away
by itself
but i failed again
i think its less than a week since i did it
and this time in a different place
how will i hide it
i can't wear gloves all day
(altho winter is here already lol)
my sleeves won't hide it
the red dripping was so ccalming
the sting now is great
because now i feel something
i never thought twice
just did it
the girls- what will they say
when they wake me in the morning
how can i hide it
from them
and work- when i pop in tomorrow
at least i am not working
only wed next week
so i have time there
it's so stupoid
at the mo i feel like nothing happened
i don't even regret it
but its the ramifications that are worrying me
and the fact that once again
i have failed

[Christina86]

(((((((((irishsj))))))))))))))

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((irishsj)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Fifth_Sonata]

You're NOT a failure.
Next time you want to injure, try writing down your feelings BEFORE you do it. If you see a pattern, maybe it will help you in avoiding triggering moments or situations?

Remember, to us...
!!

[Soidhonia]

Hello Irishsj.
I am very sorry you are feeling this way at this time. I agree with the above advice finding other outlets for your SI may be a good thing to try to help yourself , and also trying to get yourself a support team may help as well, that way you can at least call someone that understands or will help to keep you safe diring the times you would want to SI. Take care of yourself and try to just take things one day at a time, and call your therapist and let the therapist know what is going on so that the therapist can help you during this time. Soidhonia

[Direction]

I agree with all...Most importantly the support team. It may be one of the hardest to do; however, the most worth it...

[sujunew]

thank you so much christina, bipolar bear, fifth sonata, soidhonia and direction for your words and support. I am feeling kinda embarrassed now reading what i wrote- it seems l ike a long time ago and almost someone else... i can't even really remember writing it. It doesn't even really sound like me writing it (yes, I am confusing myself as i write this lol). Anyway, things are looking much better today, I have managed to cover the cuts with sticking plasters and it is not very obvious (well, the kids did notice straight away but i just laughed it away; they were playing nurses and doctors and had me covered in bandaids anyway so i said maybe i forgot to take them off). I haven't seen what it looks like under but that can wait!
So, again many thanks for the kind words and support. Oh- and that it the worst thing for me- I just hit a huge brick wall every time and cannot even make the phone call, even when I remain anon...something to work on i guess )

[Fifth_Sonata]

You were only speaking from your heart at the time, which I think seems foreign to many of us because we keep so much emotion to ourselves.

Stay safe!

[nothemama8]

irishsj, you haven't failed you had a temporary moment and we are here to support