just missing you

No news, just missing you all terribly. I am hoping that everyone is well and that is why it quiet. You will be in my thoughts tonight as I go to sleep.
Take care all,
Carrie

WAIT! I do have news. I saw my new T again yesterday. I love her! I left the place feeling energized and ready to kick some...uh well...I was feeling pretty darn good. It is refreshing to leave a therapy session actually feeling good.
CK

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

It has been quiet on this board, hasn't it? I'm glad that you like your new T and that you leave your sessions with her feeling good. Sounds like you must have made a good choice and are where you need to be at this point in your journey. I am really happy for you!

I'm doing ok. I found a new friend and we are able to understand and help each other as equals, and it seems to be filling needs for both of us. That's pretty neat. Since I've been listening to The Celestine Vision on tape, which is about synchronicity a lot, I'm seeing synchronicity everywhere right now. Meeting up with the right people, who happen to say the right thing at the right time. Except maybe it's not coincidence - it was supposed to happen that way.

At the same time, the weather we are having here lately is really getting on my nerves! It was cloudy and icky for a few days, and now the wind won't stop! It ripped my screen door off of its hinges this morning! I don't deal with clouds or wind very well. Clouds bring on my SAD, I think more than winter or short daylight hours, so I get depressed and irritable and frustrated easily. My son (6 years old) is learning to read, and that is such a slow, frustrating process. It's hard to get him to sit still and get through a lesson. He's really catching on just fine, but when he gets stuck on a word and I have given him every hint possible without just telling him the answer, and it seems like he is just refusing to get it right just to be contrary, I get intolerably frustrated. And intolerable frustration makes me feel like hurting myself. I haven't used anything sharper than my fingernails or a screwdriver (much, anyway), but on Wednesday I was still clawing at the back of my neck (I have managed to divert it to there instead of my face so that it doesn't show), and even when I went to my class I kept doing it. Quick motions that I don't think anyone noticed. Nothing big - just everyday stuff, you know?

I hope that everyone is well also.
Wendy

<font color=orange>There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible, and wrong.

</font color=orange>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Glad you had a good session with your T and that you are getting along so well with her.

I'm just laying low recuperating.

Mary Alice

Susan,
It is wonderful coming out of a session feeling impowered. It is just as tiring. I crashed that evening. But it isn't as distressing. She wanted me to realize that it isn't her that is doing it, but it is me. She wanted me to see that I am changing. I am seeking the more positive side of things. I felt uncomfortable taking the credit. She said she would hold the credit for me for a little while but only a little while. I was thinking about it today and a understanding of another reason I needed to leave my old T. I equated him with being ill. I needed to let go of him to let go of my identification with being mentally ill and move toward a healthier way of being. This has nothing to do with him personally. He was a very supportive person and often told me what a good job I was doing and how much better I was. Anyway, it is an exciting time for me.

Wendy,
I read the Celestine Prophecy. It had lots of interesting stuff in it. I like the way the story went and how Redfeild was able to tell the story without the flow getting bogged down in the explainations and how the explanations didn't get lost in the story. He did a good job.

I remember that frustrating place in the reading process. I used a variety of methods to balance the frustration with the learning. I figured if I am getting frustrated the my kids are too and people don't learn well when they are frustrated. So what I would do is read a book with them several times. The first time through I would just supply the words that they got stuck on, slowly sounding it out for them as I ran my finger across the word. The next time we read the book I would have them sound out the words that I was fairly certain they would get and then do the harder words for them. As we read the book each time I would increase the number of words they needed to figure out themselves. They usually would hold an interest in the same 3 or 4 books over a couple of weeks so we were constantly reading different books so I just kinda kept loose track of where we were in the effort department. I would also let them take breaks and just read to them while they read silently with me. Don't tell the teacher but I counted this as part of the reading homework and wrote it down as such because I felt it was part of the process. It seemed to have worked and it made it possible for me to set the reading at a level that worked with my mood level which kept things more comfortable for all of us.

Mary Alice,
I am so sorry I have lost track. I have been so in my own world lately with all the changes I have been going through that I have lost track of where you are. You said you are recupperating. Can you update me. Gosh, I feel bad that I have lost track. I remember the problem with your T and the missed appointment and then I decided to leave my T and everything has gone into a deep fog. Please forgive me.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

Carrie, nothing to forgive hun.

I had surgery a few days ago, on Tues., and came home Wed. Fourth back surgery although this time they took out a couple of screws.

Been resting, hiding out, sleeping alot - too much actually. I can take a full shower on Monday (yay!) and by 5 more days after that, the butterfly strips should be off the incision. No bending, twisting, lifting, etc. etc. and I return to work on Monday.

And I'm still waiting on my hearing from disability......although I am sending them copies of things on a regular basis to keep them updated for whenever that may be.

(((((((((((((Carrie)))))))))))))))))))))))