[Pastel Kitten]

I had gone for months without cutting, but a few days ago it all became too much so I gave in and cut a little, despite everything I've been doing to help myself. I've been engaging in a lot of positive distractions like bike riding, yoga, and video games, but they don't seem to be as effective as of late. I'm a passionate singer and it has always been SO therapeutic for me to sing but I'm currently living in an environment where I have very little privacy and can't "let loose" at all. If I had the chance to sing the way I want to, it would be a lot easier for me to resist the urge to cut, but until my boyfriend finds a job and we can move out (we live at his dad's) I'm kind of stuck in this situation. I've been having particularly intense urges since last night and I don't know what to do other than what I've already been doing.

What do you do to ease your urges? Even if I don't always give in, having the constant urge to hurt myself is extremely exhausting.

I don't struggle with it as much anymore, but in the past when the urge has struck, I put an ice-cube on my palm and let it melt. The cold creates an intense pain that doesn't leave any marks. Exercise is another thing that distracts me from the urges nicely.

[ForestWasp]

I use to have a couple things to ease my cravings. The best one that is not always a good idea was monster energy drinks. They would calm me down in a way that none of the meds that my doc prescribed could. Again it worked for me not for all

The second way was to go for long drives. I love driving so naturally this was an easy choice

Third and lastly. Taking a red magic marker and drawing "Cuts" on my arms in my normal cutting spots.

Good luck

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by ForestWasp

I use to have a couple things to ease my cravings. The best one that is not always a good idea was monster energy drinks. They would calm me down in a way that none of the meds that my doc prescribed could. Again it worked for me not for all

The second way was to go for long drives. I love driving so naturally this was an easy choice

Third and lastly. Taking a red magic marker and drawing "Cuts" on my arms in my normal cutting spots.

Good luck

I haven't had energy drinks before but that does sound interesting and I can imagine it's helpful sometimes. It's definitely better than alcohol, which I used to have a bit of a problem with but I'm doing a little better with it now.

I do notice that I tend to chew sugarfree gum a lot when I'm stressed but I read that it can give you stomach issues in high quantities, which sadly I have experienced.

I have thought about the red marker technique but haven't tried it. I think that could be a little more effective than grasping ice cubes because I'm kind of addicted to scars or longer lasting marks since they "document" my pain on the outside, and obviously an ice cube won't do that.

Thanks

Do you have a bicycle? Maybe you can take a long ride and sing while you're cycling? That's sort of private.

My SI method of choice is to

Possible trigger:

cut or burn words into my leg

and sometimes it helps to write those words on my leg instead. (Whiteboard marker is my preferable method - waterproof markers are really hard to wash off)

Also my parents are starting to trust me again (for example, they'll dare to leave me alone in the house overnight, which they didn't dare for a long time) and I'm afraid that if I SI and they find out, they'll start to thread lightly around me again, and I dislike that for their sakes - they should have more of a life than worrying about their daughter 24/7. So that is a great motivation to not hurt myself.

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Do you have a bicycle? Maybe you can take a long ride and sing while you're cycling? That's sort of private.

My SI method of choice is to

Possible trigger:

cut or burn words into my leg

and sometimes it helps to write those words on my leg instead. (Whiteboard marker is my preferable method - waterproof markers are really hard to wash off)

Also my parents are starting to trust me again (for example, they'll dare to leave me alone in the house overnight, which they didn't dare for a long time) and I'm afraid that if I SI and they find out, they'll start to thread lightly around me again, and I dislike that for their sakes - they should have more of a life than worrying about their daughter 24/7. So that is a great motivation to not hurt myself.

Yes, I go biking very often but I ride through our neighborhood bike trails which aren't vacant of people. I also ride with my boyfriend because I'm kind of anxious around other people when I'm alone.

I need to be completely alone to feel comfortable singing and I just don't get that, almost ever

I understand what you mean, except with my boyfriend. He's constantly worried that if I'm in the bathroom for a certain period of time that I'm hurting myself, and I hate putting him through that.

I'm glad that not wanting to worry your parents can serve as a motivator for you (and that you're getting their trust back). My therapist advised me to use that as a motivator not to cut myself (boyfriend) and I was definitely resisting for a good few months for that reason but I caved in and it's on my mind every single day, to varying degrees.

I also get triggered by the tiniest things, like when my cat accidentally scratched me pretty decently on the leg the other day when he was jumping from the desk.

Possible trigger:

Seeing the blood made me want to create more, but in my usual spots.

Thanks for specifying what type of marker you use. I was afraid to use a marker that took forever to wash off because I'd find that annoying.

I just want the urges to go away.