It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part W!!

Struggling again

(((the walls))) hang in there.

Thanks, I think it does. Like today I'm having a lot of urges but I look at my phone and the app tells me I'm at 40 days and I don't want to throw that away. It helps me set small goals for myself...like getting to 50 days.

Today will be day one if I make it thru the day...

I'm glad it's helping! That was pretty much how it helped me too. Every time I made it another month (that was my goal increment), I would tell my friend and him being my friend, was of course very happy for me and gave me additional encouragement to keep going and let me know how proud he was of me.

1 week clean!
that's a lot for me!

Congratulations rebeka!!

Great Job Rebeka!

43 days. Trying to make it to 50.

Three weeks if I can manage the rest of today idk if I can

(((whispershadow))) hoping you can make it the rest of the day.

1 day. I feel like I've opened the floodgates. I don't know why I do this. Lately I've been talking to a lot of people about why they SH, and they all have such better reasons than me. My reasons don't make any sense, not even to me.

Sorry to rant here, it's been a while since I've had anyone to talk to.

PsychNitrous, I am always happy to hear from you here.

What are other people’s reasons, and what are your reasons?

Most of the people I've been talking to have used it as a way to feel something when otherwise they're numb. I can understand that, it's a commonly used reason.

Sometimes it's a punishment for me, which I can accept as a legitimate reason. But that's only maybe 20% of the time. The rest of the time my reasons don't make sense. Most of the time the thought just seems to pop into my head, and it just hangs there until I do something, and even after. Sometimes it's curiosity, I start to wonder how <blank> would work, or what would happen if I did <blank>. There are even other times when I don't even know why I'm doing it.

I've never heard anyone else with those reasons. None of my therapists have ever been able to understand my reasons either. I don't understand.

0. I'm tired of hurting myself...

I know the feeling, man

to remember I'm separate

((((Stahrgeyzer))))

45 days.

Congratulations SlumberKitty!

2 days. I'll be completely honest, the only reason I'm that far is because my boyfriend hasn't worked this week and is home with me. If he wasn't here I'd have done it again. I've even thought about taking things to work to do it, but I'd never get away with it.

PsychNitrous, how is work for you now?

(((((PsychNitrous)))))

Work is fine. I'm only getting about 10 hours a week, but it's much less stressful than my last job.

(((((PsychNitrous)))))

50 days, but I don't think I'm going to make it much longer.