[SS8282]

Been a bad week for me. My asthma has been bothering me, especially at night, so I constantly woke up with tight chest, and in the morning - hard to inhale.

Work is a bit stressful because I've been called "disorganized" , and 'not very smart' by clients when I answered the phone for another company and didn't know the answers to their questions. Also, I had to make some sales calls, and that was hard because I'm social phobic.

I applied to an insurance company for medical benefits. They told me (via email) that they don't cover medications or anything for pre-existing conditions. My meds costs me almost $300 a month. So far, I've been either doing without, or rationing them.

When I read the email, I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to get help, but nobody will help. I hate myself for having these illnesses, and i was mad at both the insurance company and at myself. I almost cried - right in my office. I even got my x-knife....

Doesnt matter.

[SweetCrusader]

it matters because YOU matter, SS! you don't deserve to keep hurting, and it seems to me that life has put more than enough pain in your path. i don't blame you for si, of course, so don't ever think that. i know what it's like when you finally just break down and decide to stop fighting the urge. i feel for you, and i hope you can find other ways of working through this.

i am so sorry about all of the things that aren't going well for you right now: work, your insurance and meds, your asthma, etc. and i wish there was something i could do to make it all better for you. the only thing i can do, though, is be your friend. and that i will do!

(((((((((((((((((((SS8282))))))))))))))))))))))

best wishes to you, and please take care of yourself as best you can right now!!!

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

SS8282,

I do not know you and you don't know me. But to answer your question what does it matter? Well, to me you matter as you are a valuable contributor and friend to many on this site.

I know the insurance game and preexisting conditions and cost of meds all too well. I also know the effects on my system when I ration meds or go without. I end up only harming myself.

You have every right to be angry with the stupid insurance companies. The very idea that one is too sick to insure is sick itself!!

You are not to blame for having a disease or illnesses. To be mad at yourself over this makes my heart ache. I wish that you could focus this anger outward at the unjust world.

The lack of oxygen makes everything just a little darker and harder. My allergies have been at times so severe that I don't get adequate oxygen and wake up feeling like I'm suffocating. Not getting rest sets one up for being vulnerable to anything.

If I hadn't slept well from lack of ability to breathe and then was insulted at my place of work and then received the e-mail you did I would have lost it SS.

You are right it has been a cruddy week for you. I'm glad the weekend is upon us.

I really don't have much to offer up besides I fully understand the 'what does it matter' question.

You matter to me. A total stranger on the Internet cares that you are feeling this much pain and wishes to let you know that you have someone praying for you if that doesn't offend you too much.

(((SS8282))) take care please

<font color=purple> --zh </font color=purple>

[Zenobia]

It is important that you use use your medications the way they were perscribed. Does anyone know of any programs or supplimental insurance plans that can help SS get the meds that are needed? Can you get medical through the government? Is there a patient advocacy group or something in your area that could help you get hooked up with a program that could help you?
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

[wisewoman]

Phamacuedical companies all have programs where they give their meds to people who financially qualify. Find out who makes the meds you need and go on line to their requirements. Your doc will have to complete a form too. I once had a woman who couldn't afford her morphine and I got it sent to her cancer doc for over a year. Good luck and I agree with all that has been said. You deserve to be cared about and to feel better!

[LadyDragus]

Ss, which state do you live in??/
Does that state have any thing like Medicade or Medicare, something like Mo.. Were it is all depending on your income, and it helps with all of your medical and other illness...

I also wanted to ask you if you can file for Disiablty in your state, sometimes you can qualify, for partial I do not know which state, you live in.. So I am nto sure what is avabiale to you ????

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[SS8282]

Thank you (((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))))))))) I live in Canada.

I've gone to the drug companies that make the meds I take, but they don't help individuals or their families - not the way I need (financial, donation of meds, etc.) The government does have a program, but it requires EVERYONE in the household to put down their income info from last year's income tax return - regardless of whether or not they want to apply. My family won't give me the info to fill out the application and they won't sign.

The insurance who may cover my pre-existing conditions requires a much higher premiums - might as well pay the meds myself.

I dont know where else to go.

My asthma got worse today - been taking my inhaler more often.

Maybe I'm not suppose to get well.

[SunshineGold03]

Things willl get better they always do. Perhaps you can contact a social worker/case manager/mental health advocate to assist you with you finding different sources to utilize to assist with covering your medical costs. They can also help you with any other issues going on that you need help with. I should know cause I use to be a case manager.

[SS8282]

Thanks Sunshine - I hope you're right. I have no experience with a social worker/case manager at all. I do have a shrink, whom I see once a month - next time would be at the end of August. How would I go about finding a case manager?

I work - lousy pay. Like most things, im on the border - not quite poor, but not that 'well off' either. I'm sick enough to feel it, but not seriously ill enough to see a doctor. *sigh*

[SunshineGold03]

You can contact a local community mental health agency. Talk to the people their and they should be able to point you in the right direction. Good Luck! And keep us posted! BIg Hugs to you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SS8282]

thanks bunches