[suzifleshinator]

well, here goes. i burn/cut myself sometimes for different reasons and i enjoy it. even though i feel awkward afterwards, i try to make myself think it's fine and it's not big deal. the thing is i think i have done it so much and convinced myself there's nothing wrong with it that i don't see why i can't do it. i don't understand why it is wrong. please tell me why.

[SweetCrusader]

it's a way of coping, suzifleshinator! (interesting screen name btw). it isn't the best way to cope because it hurts you, and you don't deserve to be hurt. but we on this forum do totally understand where you're coming from, believe me.

good luck in finding other more healthy (and non-hurtful) ways of coping!

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[(JD)]

I think you are working in the right area.... but you must "know" in your head what is wrong with SI... it isn't healthy... it's acting out... it's a cry for help... it's a way to take control... it's a way to feel alive.... or all or these or others.

But IMHO that isn't where you should put your efforts in therapy. I think working on why you feel that you need to do this. The cause is what's driving the actions. If you took away these actions without easing the cause, they you would only find other actions to take over.

In one sense, it's a pretty black and white scenario... when viewing the basic problem. Of course, each person adds nooks and cubbie holes and issues that complicate it. But you can work this out. It can become less controlling of you, and you more controlling of it... It can because only a thought from time to time... and it can become something you USED to do...

It's a good path you have begun... not easy... but a good one.

[Zenobia]

Welcome Suzi glad you found us.

There is nothing wrong with you. At the core of your being you are a whole and well person. You have just become disconnected with that well person at this point in time. You will find your wholeness again but it is a long path of self discovery that only the brave tread. The fact that you asked the questions shows you are indeed one of the brave who wishes to start on this difficult journey.

I spent a long time believing that it was ok. I mean, I never did anything major, my scars are small and barely noticeable. Many of the self injurious things I do leave no scars at all. I don't hurt anybody else and when I am done I feel better. Why is it wrong to do? For a long time, in the beginning of therapy I had to just trust my T that it wasn't an appropriate way of soothing myself. It was hard to come to believe that I should stop doing it. I felt it was unfair for him or anyone else to ask me to stop because it helped me to survive.

After I learned WHY I do it I realized that he was indeed correct. As long as I continue to hurt myself I won't have to face what it is that is making me hurt inside. Hurting myself softens the pain, makes it bearable so I don't have to fix it. It is like continually taking painkillers for constant headaches. Get rid of the headache with an asperin and you don't need to go to the doctor but the headache comes back because something is wrong. Yes you can take another asperine and never go to the doctor but you will never really get rid of your headache. You survive but never are well.

I want to be well. I think you want to be well too or you wouldn't be asking and searching. To get well you must face what is making you sick. SI is a symptom of dis-ease that is making you hurt. By hurting yourself you don't HAVE to face what is truely hurting you. It is like drinking your problems away. The problem is still there though and only gets worse if you don't face it.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying