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#1
Jan 09, 2008, 07:13 PM
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I feel like a failure. At everything. With everyone. I'm not even strong enough to *attempt* to not SI. And I have an appt with my pdoc next week.... I'm scared she's going to want to see... she mentioned me possibly showing her last time we met.. I've never shown anyone before
 I just want to curl up into a ball and hide from everyone... i'm good at hiding. Especially from my family. I'm so far out of their reach now... I learnt that last night  I don't even know what to say anymore... I need some serious help...............   
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#2
Jan 09, 2008, 07:19 PM
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Hey bud, im sorry you are feeling so crappy. I am here for you. I went to exercise today to clear my brain. needs a whole LOT of clearing. anything I can do? you know how to get me. sorry i havent been such a good friend. you deserve so much better. please dont feel like a failure. youre NOT a failure.
Im sending truckloads of hugs your way. and thinking about YOU...... sorry i didnt get back to you yet. but i will. and im here ok? love ya, colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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#3
Jan 09, 2008, 07:28 PM
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I don't think there's much anyone can do
I appreciate your caring though... you've been anything but a bad friend. The exact opposite actually...Is it possible to be on a "down" because I was exercising SO much and haven't in a couple days? I just can't deal with people right now... lucky for me i have a night class tonight (3 hrs) so i can just go sit and absorb.
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#4
Jan 09, 2008, 07:54 PM
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aww that all sounds so painful, especially being so "far out of reach" of your family, I know how that feels
You're not a failure, not ever!(((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))   
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#5
Jan 09, 2008, 07:56 PM
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Exercise is the one thing by FAR that clears my staticy mind. so do it.!
You are a wonderful person and a wonderful friend. It is an honor and a pleasure to know you. I wouldnt be able to envision a week without your wonderful words, and your compassion jac. You have so much to offer the world. besides i want to hear concrete angel soon! LOL. so get to pickin.....chikie.....LOL youre friend. in good AND bad Colleen who has made it 45 days but worries about making it to 46 because shes a freak of nature.......LOL
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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#6
Jan 09, 2008, 10:09 PM
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<center>((((((((((((((Jacq))))))))))))) </center><center> Warm, fuzzy hugs ... and lots of 'em</center>
You are NOT a failure, Honey. I've read enough of your posts to know you're always ready to help other people, and that takes a very BRAVE and STRONG person. Hang in there, Sweetie ... you deserve to be happy! GoodMama
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today! |
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#7
Jan 09, 2008, 10:44 PM
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aww you guys are all gonna go make me cry! Thank you for all the kind words... they mean so much to me.
((((((((((((((Fuzzy, Colleen, GoodMama))))))))))))) ps Colleen you are NOT a freak of nature!
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#8
Jan 10, 2008, 02:36 AM
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(((((((((((Jacq))))))))))))))))
You are not a failure. You will never be an example of failure. You are my friend. You are a good person. Not a failure. You're not giving yourself enough credit dear friend. You are strong enough. I know you are. Somewhere deep inside of you, you know it too. You can do this. I know it's scary, and the threat of messing up is always at the back of your mind, but you can do this. You If you're not comfortable with your pdoc seeing, then tell them that. I don't think she can force you to show her. It has to be your choice, because it is your privacy. I think you need to trust a person an awful lot to show them something as personal as that. What happened last night with your family Jacq? Talk to me... I'm here for you, I always will be. Even when I'm bad at being around on the boards, you know where to reach me anytime. I want you to remember that, you're my friend and I love you. It's okay if you want to hide, because I know I feel like hiding a lot myself. But please don't hide from everyone. Please don't isolate yourself when you need a friend or someone to listen. We will all listen and try to help. That's the beauty of this site here - we're on the other side of a computer screen, so it's easier to "talk" to us sometimes. Ask for help if you need it. You have support here, unconditionally and 100%. Love ya. P.S. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> Is it possible to be on a "down" because I was exercising SO much and haven't in a couple days? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yep. From what I've heard from my friends and my family (who are all big into athletics) it's a fairly common thing. It could be the endorphins levelling off or crashing, or it could be the psychology of it all. People tend to feel better about themselves when they're doing something positive for themselves, including exercise.
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#9
Jan 10, 2008, 08:14 AM
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I am sorry that you want to isolate right now. You are no failure. If you are not ready to show your pdoc right now let her know that. It could be that she is concerned and wants to make sure you are taking care of them. Hopefully you will keep reacing out here.
BB
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#10
Jan 10, 2008, 03:46 PM
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(((((((((Christina)))))) Friend, thank you for your kind words. I'm doing better today .... I signed up for a Mindfulness class and am really looking forward to getting started with that (even though its run by a previous T
). Many coming your way...((((((((BB))))))))) Thank you too. You're always here giving support everywhere, and you always make time to answer my posts... I want you to know how much I appreciate it. You're a good person with a kind heart. to you too
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#11
Jan 11, 2008, 01:54 AM
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jacq... i know how hard event the thought of showing your t what you have done... mine has me keep a chart and give it to him every week...when i cut... he asks me to show him what i did... he really hasn't ever given me a choice...the couple times i refused he just sat there patiently... until i could get to a safe place first...it's so hard and i feel so exposed... but at the same time...after it's kind of a relief...i think part of it is exposing the secret.., a couple times they were really deep... and i could see the pain in his eyes... lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#12
Jan 12, 2008, 09:43 AM
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((((((((((Lyn)))))))))
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#13
Jan 12, 2008, 11:44 AM
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jacq how are you doing?
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#14
Jan 12, 2008, 11:09 PM
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I'm doing better now, thanks for asking!
How are you?
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The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#15
Jan 12, 2008, 11:16 PM
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i am glad your doing better... i am too...lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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