Woke up with no body

Had some disturbing dreams. When I woke up my body had faded away. It seemed as if I were to touch it my hand would go through it, like a soft jello or something. I am going to die. Sigh. Such is life. I went for a run, my body never came back. I could feel my feet hitting the ground but nothing to connect me to it. In my mind the picture comes of myself exploding in a bright flash of light and me walking out of that blinding flash surrounded by an even brighter light. This picture comes again and again. I know I am going to die but still be here. I am not frightened but at the same time I am scared out of my wits. What if this is nothing? Just a figment of my imagination. What if this is real? Either a real change is coming or I am going crazy. Either way who I am is going to die.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

Oh, gosh, (((((((((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))))))))); how scary these thoughts and feelings must be. Can you talk about it more? Is there a way that we can support you in dealing with these feelings?

Sending you postitive energy...

Fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

Thanks Peanut. Actually I am not all that frightened at the moment. I am positive when I call my T tommorrow she will know what to do. I can float until then. I am safe. There is no need to worry about my physical body. I have no desire to hurt it at this point. I think I will be ok. I just have to see what happens. I have some connection with my body now, though it is a bit tenuous. My mind has been blissfully blank. At work I just moved from one ocupation to the next, there was no connection to what I was doing and no need to do anything else. Wonderful for the stress level. Just in the moment. It feels odd.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

Sort of like a complete disconnection, isn't it Carrie? It feels good in a way......no sensation, no stress - at least when I've felt that way. It didn't start out the same way yours did though.

Thinking of you. xoxoxo

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard
<div class="foot">(Edited by PlanningtoExist on 08/15/04 11:17 PM.)</div>

That is called dissociation, and it's a coping mechanism. My guess is your response is the way that you are dealing with the disturbing dreams you have. It's kind of a way of "padding" yourself so the fall doesn't hurt that much, know what I mean?

Dissociation is fairly common, so I'm sure your T will know how to help you.

This must have been really scary for you. I can only imagine.

Have you ever learned any grounding techniques for when that sort of thing happens? I started a thread asking people for grounding techniques in the dissocation forum. People had some good ideas, and some of those might help you out when you start feeling this way.

Take care! (((Hugs))) if ok

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

It has been a long time since I have gone so far out. I agree with with Mary Alice that it feels good, for awhile. It was scary at first though. I wanted to do something to bring myself back but after I reminded myself that my body was indeed there and solid even though it didn't seem to be, I calmed down and the fear faded.

Usually running is a good grounding technique for me. It brings me back into total awareness of my body but this time it didn't. Luckily I didn't injure myself by pushing too hard. I did end up with a sore thigh muscle but it feels better today. Softly stroking my body often helps but I had very little sensation in my skin so it didn't work. I have a few grounding techniques that I use after ritual work, it didn't occur to me to use them.

Today I am back, securely in my body. My T called me first thing this morning and we have an appointment scheduled for thursday morning. She was willing to adjust her schedule today so I could come in, In fact she was pushing for me to come in today but when I told her I want to journal and paint about it first and spend some time in the garden thinking about it she became comfortable with my choice to wait until thursday.

I am going to go get dressed now. Thanks everyone for being here.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying