I can't stand it anymore

I am getting so sick of fighting my urges! I hate trying to talk myself out of taking my pills or cutting or anything! I just want to be with my mom and I can't! No one will let me and I can't let me. I'm so torn! I already cut, but that's not the point. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I'm thinking about admitting myself into the hospital soon. It's the only thing that's gonna save me. I was just in a couple months ago, but I haven't been this suicidal and this depressed since I was 13 (I'm now 26). Should I do it? I don't want to worry anyone, but I see no way out right now.

Lexicon... based on what you wrote, I do think you should go to the hospital. If you would like to Chat I will remain in the forum and look for you... but if you think you are at a breaking point, then you probably are. Take care of yourself, please...

Lex,

If you are having urges to hurt yourself that you are finding difficult to fight, then it may be a very good idea to go to the hospital. Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist that you could call? I know when I needed to be admitted, it helped me a lot to talk to my T and hear her tell me that she thought it was a good idea, too.

And try not to think of this as something that will worry people...think of it as a way to keep yourself safe. You're giving people a lot more reason to worry if you don't get the help you need right now.

Take care.
Jo

(((((((Lexi))))))) I do think you should get into the hospital.

Please try to be safe. I'm so sorry about everything you're going through, and how hard this loss is on you.

Angela

{{{{{{{{{{Lexi}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You know, there's nothing wrong with being able to recognize when you aren't safe and doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. If you feel like you need to go to the hospital, maybe you should at least go and talk to them about it, or to your T. I'm hearing that you do want to be safe, and you do want to get better. You just have a lot of hard stuff to deal with right now. You will get through it and it will get better. I'm sorry that it's so hard right now, and I do hope that you will go to the hospital if you feel like you might need to.
Rap

Lex:

Please consider going to the hospital. The only thing that is important right now is keeping yourself safe. It's a good thing that you're able to recognize when you're no longer safe and are willing to do something about it. Please consider it. and please take care.

Be safe.
Kimberly

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lexi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Yes please go to the hospital. We all want you to be safe. You have been trying so hard, it is not wonder you are tired. Go and get the help you need. We will be rooting for you Dear One.
You are in our hearts,
Carrie <font color="purple">