ugres creeping in...

They aren't horrific impulses yet. They are little urges that I can feel... thoughts that pass through my mind... visuals that hit me out of nowhere... I can tell that they are little urges that could turn into something bigger. I'm wondering how to put a stop to it at this point, since I have identified it. I think that they key is slowing down (which I have) in order to identify the rise in the process, before it gets to the point in which I feel that I have control.

Great. I identified it. But I feel like.... "Well now what??"

Well, you're supposed to connect with T when you feel the urges, right?

So, can you call and connect before they get really bad??

Uhhhhh, I seem to be going through one of my "give T a vacation from me even though he said I can call or email anytime" phases. Blah.

I think I kind of understand how you feel. I am feeling that way right now and really fighting it. Part of me knows if I go buy some alcohol and have a few drinks it will make it esier for me to SI and decrease the guilt at that very moment. However I will feel worse tomorrow.

After almost 29 weeks of being SI free I have learned to force myself to sit through the feelings until they are unbearable. I have been able to make it through the urges so far.

You are lucky to still have a T. If you are allowed to contact him then try sitting through the feelings until you can't any longer and then reach out to him for help. I learned that I could increase my time between the need to SI as I held out a bit longer each time. Not sure if that will help you but it has worked for me so far.

Best wishes.

insecuroty

Pink!

I know I speak for T when I say "GET TO ME!"

He would much, much, much rather have you call than SI. I am sure of it. 100%. Besides, when we are working so hard to give our T's these "vacations" from us, they are almost certainly going about their merry business and not even noticing.

Call him. I'd throw a phone icon in right here if I could, you'll have to meet me in chat later for that kind of fun.

((((pink)))) wow that is big that you are able to see that you need to slow down and identify what is happening... i hadn't thought about it like that but your right... we need to slow down... thank you for sharing this... it kind of helps me get closer to what i was looking for in my thread...lyn