[SweetCrusader]

This isn't one of those "I'm giving up and not going to quit" posts. I sincerely want to know everyone's reasons for wanting to quit. No reason is stupid. No reason is too small. I just want to know what makes you want to quit. (Or what finally made you decide to quit if you already have quit)

Why do you want to quit si??

The more I cut, the more I agree with the demons inside me that hate me..that don't deal with life, that hate reality. Cutting means keeping myself isolated from the life that I truely want.

[kax25]

I want to quit cutting for my best friend.she has put up with me cutting and helped me since she found out i did it and i feel i owe it to her to stop cutting. i also want to be able to wear short sleeves shirts without having people starring at me like im crazy.

[SpazKatt]

because I don't like the look a guys face when he finds out what I do...

[Fuzzybear]

I don't want to hurt the people I love ...
Also the looks on people's faces

[SpazKatt]

I soo know what you mean FB!

[Rapunzel]

Angela,

I wanted to quit along with you because like you said, I thought it would be pretty cool if we quit together. But it's the wrong season for me to be trying to quit. I'm sorry.

[SweetCrusader]

Wendy,

You don't owe me an apology. Your decision about si is about YOU, not me.



And you have to be ready, all in your own time.

[SylverFlames]

I want to quit because I've already scarred my body, probably for life, and each time I was going deeper and larger than the time before, and I can't take any more scars, I'm running out of room. So I decided to quit. Going on 5 weeks now without, and have only felt the urge 2 in the past three weeks. So I think I'm doing good.

[wisewoman]

I wanted to quit because I made a promise to myself to try to do things that I know are healthy and good for me. I have had a lot of success with not cutting though my desire is very high right now. However, I spoke with my T and told her the things I needed to do to take care of myself so I don't get to a cutting place. Better med management by me, eating at least three nutritious things per day, Drinking my water, taking my vits, slowing down at work and processing before acting, having a mid day "meal" away from my work or desk. Not while driving in the car being paged with 2 cell phones ringing, but in solitude. I see I am in danger of starting up again. The longer I go the easier it gets. I am motivated by scars slowly fading. I am motivated because I know it's not good for me and I want to be healthy.

[ktp]

I want to quit because I have to. The meds I'm taking and this major reality check I had the first of December have made me see things a little more clearly. I cannot SI and take this med.

Forced quitting I guess, but I'm still glad.

Take care all,
Kimberly.

[SweetCrusader]

Hey Kimberly! Long time to talk!!! How are you? (PM me if you want)

****** S Q U I S H **********

[wisewoman]

these are all such cool reasons. KTP, you mean the warfarin? Yes, if that is it it could kill you.

[SweetCrusader]

EV, I LOVE what you said!

Everyone, I really like reading your reasons

Thanks

[ktp]

Yep Wisewoman...that's the dreaded drug. Forced me to quit. I guess in this case it's a woman who wants to quit SI'ing's best friend. Sigh. But I'm still glad (in a way)....

hope all of you are hanging in there!

much love,
Kimberly.

[meowsers]

because my partner will leave me if i don't quit.

which i am totally resenting. because i really need it. and because i don't like being under his thumb like that, being given an ultimatum. i know that sounds all wrong, cos i should be grateful i have a good reason to stop... and that he cares enough to get tough, but hey, that's the irrationality of human feelings i guess!

[SpazKatt]

oh meowsers that totally sucks! *hugs*

[(JD)]

(meow would it be different if your T insisted you quit?) I wish you could feel like you don't have to

i used to always put the cuts on my ankles so nobody would see them. but the last time i did, i had cut so deep that the socks were sticking and i had to let them air out while i slept. i thought nobody knew i cut, i would always say i had accidently scraped myself. well, that morning my son came in my room while i was in bed and he saw my ankles and started crying. he said, " ARE YOU TRYING TO CUT THEM OFF?!" thats when i decided to stop. i just hate the fact that it took him seeing it to realize how bad it was. (even though i have cut a few times since then on my ribs, i do not intend to revisit my ankles) and i havent cut at all in over 4 months.

[itsjustme111]

I find this interesting. I don't always want to quit. Like I have this "just in case" I am feeling like I need it.

But there are reasons for wanting to quit. Like what do you say when someone asks what has happened to your arm, or your wrist etc. The hardest part is when my kids ask where I got "those marks from".

People can be so cruel. On the holidays I had a horrible experience. My bf's sister inlaw totally attacked me. I was glad that I was not there at the time or I would have smacked her. She was talking horribly about my SI and making me into this monster. She said all of this in front of my bf's parents and worst of all, her kids. I get along well with her kids. It makes me so angry for her to shoot off her ignorent mouth in regards to SI.

One other big reason would be not to have to look at it everyday. Its like a constant reminder that I hurt myself. I wish I could afford to have this "fixed" through surgery. When I look at it, I feel like a failure.

I started to cut the other night but stopped. Just a couple minor cuts, nothing more. What made me stop?? Not sure...

Justy

[HALLIEBETH87]

my t is making me basically or i will be in deep s@#t!

[lenjan]

I quit because I realized it was other people's pathologies I was feeding -- I was letting THEIR insecurity and whatever get to MY body.

Well, F 'em.

I refuse to take responsibility anymore for things I don't deserve. I didn't deserve what was done to me, so why am I still abusing myself once the other abuse stopped? It doesn't make sense.

I think this insight might have been the final cure for me. It's a hard habit to break, and often it's the first thing I think of when I'm overwhelmed, but if I think about cutting as giving in to "them," and not recognizing the progress I've made in spite of them or where I am now, I'm less likely to do it. I don't want to hurt myself because of the hurt that's been done to me. I want to stand on my own two feet, validate myself and my progress, and tell my abusers where they can get off (at least in my head, LOL -- not up to doing it in person yet).

My mom was my abuser, and I saw her over Christmas. She's 75 years old. She has a bad hip, her eyes and ears are going, she has osteoporosis. I'm probably 5 inches taller than she is now, outweigh her (sadly) by about 100 lbs., and you know what? She's an old lady and SHE CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO ME ANYMORE. She can still screw with my psyche, but I'm even getting better at controlling that. But as far as physical stuff goes, I'm not afraid of her anymore because there's nothing to be afraid of.

I guess this is progress, huh?

Candy

[SweetCrusader]

Cottoncandylocks,

That is so sad I wish you luck in quitting si.

It's nice to meet you, though, btw. Welcome to psychcentral.

Angela

[(JD)]

Welcome newbies! And good wishes to all of you who SI. I wish you comfort when you feel the need to escape,. I wish you health, in spite of risky activity. I wish you peace, when things become overwhelming. I wish you success in finding out who you really are. I wish you love, in all that you do.