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#1
Oct 31, 2008, 11:05 PM
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Ive beeen in a real bad place for along time now. The pain has been unrelenting for what seems like forever. My head is in a bad place. Does the pain get better? I know in my head it does, it did alongtime ago. But it feels like this is the time it might not. Is this all it gets. Am i subject to this forever. I fake it in front of my family. I do what i have to for the kids, but its sooo hard. Cutting just doesnt do anything anymore. Except make me more guilty.where does it end? I want to get off.
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#2
Nov 01, 2008, 05:07 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((chrise))))))))))))))))))
it does end, it will end, but it'd s long, hard journey.... but we're here to hold your hand and help you through. You said you hide it from your family? Does ANYONE know how you're feeling? A friend, doc? You can't do this on your own, you need support.  Take care Molly
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#3
Nov 01, 2008, 08:04 AM
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I have a t but have only seen her 3 times. i have no friends.noone knows how i feel.i am totally alone.i am so tired of acting.tired of fighting these dark urges and thoughts.
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#4
Nov 01, 2008, 03:55 PM
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Chrise it can end if you can express yourself in therapy and learn what you haven't learned yet about how to be emotionally healthy. You seem to be backed in a corner now and this is always distressing....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#5
Nov 01, 2008, 08:02 PM
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Having a T there at least is great. But like Sannah said... you won't heal if you don't express yourself. Are you close to your family? Could you, do you think, try and tell them what's going on. I can understand you not telling your kids though (depending on there age) and for now it's not a bad idea. It's natural to protect your kids and want to give them all you can.
Please take care Molly
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#6
Nov 01, 2008, 10:46 PM
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i didnt realize until real recent that i had totally isolated myself. i didnt realize i was even doing it. until now when i got noone. i dont have family except for my husband. my kids are 4, 10, 13 and 15. as far as my therapist, i told her i need to see her more frequent but her schedule is too full. im at a clinic and they are always full. her appointments are every 2-3 weeks. this week i felt we got a little further. but she barely knows me. how can i tell her how bad i really feel without ending up inpatient. ive got some hotline#s in my pocket because i need to talk real soon. im going to call her again on mon. but she wont be able to see me sooner.
i know im in a corner but it doesnt matter how much i say in a session when i only see her 1 -2 times a month. how much gets done. at this rate my corner only gets deeper. why even bother. i cant go on like this. my kids deserve better. |
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#7
Nov 02, 2008, 01:50 PM
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Chrise, is it not a good idea for you to talk here?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Nov 03, 2008, 09:01 AM
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Yeah i guess it is. I feel worthless, hopeless, useless and that my family can do a whole lot better without me. I feel a lot of pain but other than that im pretty numb. When everyday feelings should come up i dont feel anything. Ive been seperating myself( for a long time )that i deal with the situation but not feel anything. Good or bad. I cant cry. I just feel depressed. Cold, dark, and very lonely. By cutting i at least feel.
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#9
Nov 03, 2008, 10:26 AM
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Chrise, I think that it would be helpful for you to write here your everyday feelings so that you can get back in touch with them....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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