I cut myself..

I cut myself, but its not like deep, its more like cat scatches, but still I do it. I only do it because after im done I am able to relax, like I drained all of my problems. I try not to do it often but the temptation is hard to withstand. I don't know what to do so I came here to seek help. Only my friends know but they would never tell, I know them to well because then they would become involoved. (Which they don't like to do) I can't tell anyone in my family because I don't want them to think they are the ones doing something wrong it makes me feel even worse. I started when my dad got re-married and I havent seen him since November, also my boyfriend dumped me for my best friend. (We are not friends anymore) Now I feel like I mean nothing, so I think that is why. My friends say I need to get help, and that I am depressed, now that I read back on things I have wrote I'm starting to think they are right. But I'm still like a kid and I don't know where to turn. Please Help.

Hey there, I'm glad you're posting here. Because you can start to take a step towards getting better

I'm assuming by what you say that you're under 18?
Assuming you are, you do have to be careful about where you go for help, and also I think it's VERY important that you do go get someone to help you out. Depression is very very hard to deal with and so is cutting. You can fight it alone, but to be successful I think support is really needed.

You may consider going to a school counselor, ask them specifically what they can or can't tell your parents.

What is your mom like? I know in many cases parents are the last people someone would want to turn to. So I wonder, what your relationship with her is like?

I'm glad you're able to tell your friends by the way

You don't mean nothing.
You are worth getting better, you do means something and you can mean even more given time. Others don't define your worth. Your bf dumping you for your best friend... , but just because that happened does NOT EVER make you nothing.

I do agree with your friends, that you do need help. I'm soo glad that you've taken a first step by coming here.

Here's a few things to think about while you're figuring out where to go for help.

First, I want you to know that cutting can be addictive, and it can get worse. Catscratches are no good. I know that those don't seem all that bad, but really they do hurt, they are harming you and you need to stop. Also, the last thing I would want is that you ended up doing more. Cutting can be very hard to stop. You don't want to get to a point where you can't stop, you dont want to get to a point where the cuts are deep AND you can't stop. So PLEASE, please fight the urges as much as you can.

To fight the urges, is difficult.

Some things you can do, is if you can to get somewhere with people. Go hang out with friends, so that you can't cut because they're there with you.

If you can't do that, you need to try to make yourself think of something other than cutting. Distract like crazy.... do any fun thing you like to do, especially stuff that you can do with your hands or that engages your mind so you CAN'T think about it.

I don't know if you ever get cycling thoughts, like you can't stop thinking about wanting to cut?
If this happens, You need to stop the cycling thoughts. One way to do this is to think very hard about where you are NOW, describe where you are. NO EMOTIONS. List only facts.
an example: I am sitting on a couch. the couch is blue. there is a computer on my lap. There is a tv across the room. The walls are white. There is a lamp to my left, it is on.
Keep going until you're not thinking about cutting.

I hope this makes sense, take care of yourself

13, it sounds like you just need to learn how to deal with your feelings (depression can follow feelings that are not being dealt with). Not seeing your dad after he got remarried this is a big deal for you to have to contend with, with a lot of feelings involved. Like Turquoise asked, how is your relationship with your mom?

My relationship with my mom? Well I only see her for like an hour a day at night because she sleeps because she has 3rd shift and I'm at school. I don't really think about cutting, it just happens, then I feel regret then I feel better. I don't do it all the time but I don't want to do it anymore.
I don't have have fun really, and all I do is listen to music because its my "happy" place I guess you would call it. As for going to the school for help, it wouldnt really help, they would just like get you in trouble and try to help by sending you to a therapist or something, how i know this, because it happend to my sisters friend for the same reason, and when she finally came back it seemed she had just gotten worse and she never wanted to talk, it was horrible. But she is doing fine now, or at least thats what she told me and my sister. I have one question, how do you know if something is deppression and not stress?

One thing, is that yes by going to some school related source you would be going to a therapist. A therapist could be a really good option for you, believe it or not. They are legally confidential - they have to keep your secrets - except in some cases. If they know you're in physical danger they can break confidence, but in the case of SI cases are highly situational.
If you really show that you want to get better theres a good chance that the therapist can help you, I just want you to check out that option. Some people get in 'bad' situations by going to school, I'm sorry about your friend.

One way, is if you ever felt like talking to your mother is ok, you could ask her if going to an outside therapist was an option. That way, it's not related to the school, it's a better place to be really.

the difference between stress and depression, can be a bit difficult to tell sometimes.

Depression is "deeper" than stress.
They both affect each other.
I guess the difference I'd put is that stress is passing, depression stays with you longer. Maybe somoene can phrase/explain/give better answer than that, I'm a bit tired

So you don't want to talk to a therapist because you think you might get worse? Depression feels different from stress. Stress is a challenge but you can cope. Depression is when you are starting to get pulled under and it is much harder to cope. You feel really heavy emotionally. There is a check list for depression.

It's ok, everything will be ok. When I was 13, I did the "cat scratches" so I would feel. It feels better to you because it quickly sets off your endorphines, creating an automatic relaxant in your body. I also didn't know what to do and began to get adicted to the habit. I didn't tell anyone for about a month, but then people at my school told the guidance counselor and she spoke with me, I lied to her and said that I got the cuts from dropping wood and it sliced my wrist. I didn't want to tel my family either, but my mother found out in the end. My friends also said that I needed to get help and that I was depressed, I too thought that I was just stressed, but in actuality, I really did need to get help.

For starters, I think that you should try calling a helpline when you are in one of those really tense, crushing moments no matter what you think about it. It's best to get the help you need in the beginning than covering it up. When you scratch yourself, it acts as a band-aid for a quick fix, but really the cut is still there in your mind and you really need to take care of it. The best thing to do is to try to get information about different sources where you can get help. You can ask the helpline about different places where you can get the help you need. I also found it extremely hard to tell my mother, she ended up finding out when my guidance counselor broke the news to her. Sometimes it's best to tell someone else who is an adult than try to wing it with your mom. Here are some different helplines and forums that you can go to: 1-800-DONTCUT (1-800-366-8288), Crisis Services 834-3131 (if you live in the USA),
Teenline: 800-522-TEEN

Teenline, in operation every day from noon to midnight, offers a caring listener for teens who have questions or concerns about relationships, alcohol and other drug abuse, sexuality, and other topics. Teenline workers are trained to respond to crisis calls, but most callers simply want information or someone who will listen. Teenline exists to help young people prevent problems, solve conflicts, and deal with the concerns that affect their lives. All calls are free and confidential. Many Teenline workers are teens or young adults themselves, well prepared to relate to issues of concern to others in their age group.,Kids Hotline-Crisis Services: 1-877-543-7400, 1-800-TALK: 1-800-273-8255, Boys Town Suicide and Crisis Line: 800-448-3000 or 800-448-1833 (TDD)
Provides short-term crisis intervention and counseling and referrals to local community resources *You don't have to be a boy to call this hotline*

ALL OF THESE HELPLINES THAT I'VE PUT OUT ARE CONFIDENTIAL

Take good care of yourself and please try to stay safe. I know that things can get really hard in life, but I know that you can make it through. PM me anytime.
~dance59326