Why Do People Judge Us? Could Be A Trigger

I'm very upset right now and hurt. I try so hard not to cut and the last thing I need is to be Judged. I belonged to another group and 4 days ago I told them I was really depressed and was fighting from cutting. Well I Haven't been doing too good tonight and I have been fighting so hard not to cut. I have been even using ice. I got a response and they put me down and said do you want to have to look at your scars the rest of your life and remember the pain you went through. It was very painful and cruel what they said to me. There was more. I have quit their group tonight. It just made me feel worse and made me sink lower. I just want to know why do people have to Judge us? Their not in our shoes they dont know how were feeling. All My Life I have been Judged and I have a hard time dealing with it. It makes me feel so low. It makes me feel like dirt. Sorry for going on like this.

Don't be sorry for "going on like this" id feel the same way. The thing is... you have been extremely strong as far as im concerned! I am extremely weak... hell, i even cut to try and get my mind off a headache caused by stress when i can't find any medicine in my house! (granted it was a really bad migraine... but i know i'm pathetic... and its been the first time i've admitted to anyone about doing that....) I've given up on fighting the urge... though i don't cut badly, barely even enough to bleed. I really applaud you for your efforts to fight it! For me... its like... i don't see why not... i know its bad... but i haven't made the connection in my brain on why i shouldn't do it, i guess. But keep being strong! I know you can keep yourself from doing it.... and here is my view about "scars." For me, the scars that i can still see are the reminders of the lessons i've learned from the bad experiences. Not just of what i went through. I need these reminder in order to not get myself into situations that bring me down to doing that. I don't know about you, but i don't view the scars as being bad... they're battle scars.... because as my signature quote says, "sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." and it is at the bottom when i cut enough to make scars, and it is the bottom where i learn the truth. The reason we cut because our bottom is just that much lower than "normal" people's bottom's (okay, that sounded wrong... lol) but it is that which makes us so much more wise than them. I don't have much else to say without it being rambling, so i guess i'll stop now. I hope some of the things i said make sense and over power whatever they said to you. (((hugs)))
~Julie

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist

First of all I want to congratulate you on the effort you have been making the last few days. No matter how it ends you gave a good fight. As for those insensitive people, I know they thought they were helping but what kind of c**p is that? Cutting is not about scars and whether we want to look at them or not. Lets just go ahead and tell depressed people to "Just snap out of it" or schizophrenic people that the voices are just in their heads or bi-polar people "to just mellow out." Yeah, go ahead and tell us to "just knock it off" and we will be able to just quit and all will be hunky dorey. Might as well just tell the pstd person that "the past is the past and get over it" while we are all at it. Ok, I just got a little irate. I am so sorry that you were hurt by other people's insensitivity.
Take care and you are held in high esteem,
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

Although I'm sure that they thought they were being helpful, I'm sorry that you felt judged by those you went to for support. We really need to remember that we are all different and what matters to one person just might not be felt the same way by someone else.

I'm finding that it is better for me to go ahead and do a little than to keep fighting it, because the longer I fight it the worse it will be when I do eventually give in. So I'll go ahead and jab with my fingernails or something. But I'm turning up with scars (small ones) that I don't know how I got. That might not be right for you - if you have decided to try not to hurt yourself, I commend you for that and I hope that I can offer you some measure of support. It does hurt to be judged, and nobody but you can really know how you feel. Being judged has definitely been a trigger for me.

<font color=purple>"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."</font color=purple>