[Maven]

I've always had this issue, but never thought about sharing it until now. I haven't had sex in a really long time, but I still have this thing about my nipples (just thinking about it makes me queasy). I can't stand someone else touching my nipples. I feel queasy touching my own nipples, but I did learn a way to work my way to an orgasm; it's just hard putting aside those queasy thoughts and sensations.

Even if a guy is doing everything right, once he goes for my nipples (hands, fingers, mouth, teeth, whatever), I kind of freeze up. I have never told anyone this; I just gritted my teeth and pretended I liked it, even though in reality, I wanted him to stop immediately. It just makes me feel nauseous. I feel like I'm "supposed" to like it, and I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings, so I just play on, praying that I don't actually throw up (so far, so good). But I get turned off right away.

I know part of why I don't say anything is because, despite all the advice to not do anything you don't want to do, many guys will dismiss you altogether if you don't do certain acts.

Does anyone else feel this kind of sensitivity when it comes to action on your nipples? (Males welcome to answer, too.)

[the submissive]

Hi there, I know a couple of women that are the exact same, they freak out in the same way. The advice I gave them was just be honest and say you have a thing about it and how three feel, which they did, the guys they have been with didn't see it as such a problem as they'd thought! One of them finds licking doesn't effect her the same as it feels different.
I myself hate touching my own in a similar way, but don't mind a guy doing it.
Hugs M.

[Pandoren]

I don't think it's that unusual for people not to like nipple play... it's another thing that's probably been hyped up by adult media and stuff... Be honest... No one can know you don't like it if you don't tell them. Besides, I think any man that dumps you over not being able to muck around with your nipples probably isn't the right guy. Everyone likes different things and any guy will just have to learn to read your body and not some generic female idea.

If he's interested in breasts and you don't mind the rest of your breast being touched then perhaps tell him that that is ok rather than making it seem like the whole area is a no-go zone.

I wonder if some of it might be in the wording as well? I don't know how to advise saying it though...

And as for your last question, I don't see nipples as exciting at all. If anything, kinda painful.

[bighands]

Personally, I really love a womans nipples but I would be hurt if a woman didn`t tell that something I was doing made her feel gross. Just tell them. Good guys wanna make their women feel good. Actually most are pretty egotistical about their prowess in pleasing a woman. And if he cares more about his own pleasure than yours, he`s probably not worth sleeping with!

[ickydog2006]

I can't handle my nipples being touched either by someone else. I can touch my own but it is still very unpleasant. Mine mostly seemed to happen from after breastfeeding though. My husband doesn't seem to care in the least that I don't like it. I really think it doesn't matter to most guys. They've got the whole rest of the body to play with anyways.

[Big Mama]

It was a great thing until I breast fed my 3 children. After 6 years+ of them being off limits it's not something I like anymore. It's kinda weird and It just doesn't do anything for me. If my H wants to use them as his own persomal playground and they do somthing for him I'm usually willing to tolerate it. But once he asked after 4 years "Do you not like this anymore" when I said it does nothing for me. He doesn't usually go there.

[Maven]

Thanks, guys! I don't feel so bad now. I can take some light, gentle touching, but only for a limited amount of time. I think it's easier when I touch them because I'm in control and know how much I can take. It's still weird when I touch them myself, but I think it makes sense that I prefer myself to touch them than others.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by Maven

I've always had this issue, but never thought about sharing it until now. I haven't had sex in a really long time, but I still have this thing about my nipples (just thinking about it makes me queasy). I can't stand someone else touching my nipples. I feel queasy touching my own nipples, but I did learn a way to work my way to an orgasm; it's just hard putting aside those queasy thoughts and sensations.

Even if a guy is doing everything right, once he goes for my nipples (hands, fingers, mouth, teeth, whatever), I kind of freeze up. I have never told anyone this; I just gritted my teeth and pretended I liked it, even though in reality, I wanted him to stop immediately. It just makes me feel nauseous. I feel like I'm "supposed" to like it, and I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings, so I just play on, praying that I don't actually throw up (so far, so good). But I get turned off right away.

I know part of why I don't say anything is because, despite all the advice to not do anything you don't want to do, many guys will dismiss you altogether if you don't do certain acts.

Does anyone else feel this kind of sensitivity when it comes to action on your nipples? (Males welcome to answer, too.)

Hey, I know that feel. Playing with my nipples myself, I feel nothing except maybe goosebumps. But when a guy touches my breasts, I have to restrain myself from jerking and shouting out. It's not necessarily because I don't want them to, because I do fantasize about it, but my breasts are hypersensitive to the touch, more so than the clitoris.

I do put my foot down about a guy reaching his hand under my bra. That sensation is so horrible that I tell the guy he can touch me there AFTER he takes my bra off, which of course, he certainly does not mind. I don't know why, I believe it's because the first time someone reached under my bra it was a stranger at a LGBT party and I did not want her to. Maybe. But that sensation is aggravating.

Do you have small breasts? Small breasts can be extremely sensitive because the nerves are so close to the skin.

You realize that even though you aren't saying no, you are giving consent to him by not saying anything. This must stop and you know it. All you have to say is "I'm very sensitive, please don't touch me there. Instead, you can do [insert whatever *you'd* like him to do instead]. There's no need to force yourself to do something you want to do, and any reasonable guy will understand that you don't want to be touched that way. You don't have to explain anything, just say you have never liked the way it feels. This is something you should bring up to your therapist, but you're certainly not alone.

[Maven]

No, actually, my breasts are quite large, but they're sensitive, too. Especially around my time of the month. Thanks for the information, though. I think the next time (if there's one) a guy wants to touch my nipples and breasts, I'll feel more comfortable to speak up.

And yeah, I get that by saying no, it implies yes. It's why, in other parts of my life, I will tell some people soon after I meet them personal things about me, so they won't assume I agree with them if I don't; I hate for people to be silent or go, "Mmm-hmmm," to something I say, as if they agree, then go behind my back to talk about me because they disagree. But I've found people don't like that I'm so open, so I have become less open (again--I was very shy when I was young). But the thing with guys is, I believe, from the messages girls are given from society, that you should want to please a man, take care of him. I grew up believing feminist ideals (and I still do), that a woman doesn't need a man, and vice-versa, to be a complete person. There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, but feeling you need a specific type of relationship to be complete is false. You can complete yourself.

Ok, rant done. :P As for talking to my therapist, we don't talk about sex. He just asks how I am and I answer, then we talk about meds and he writes out my prescriptions and I leave. Physically, sex is very painful for me; however, I haven't had sex in about 13 years. My boyfriend is no longer interested, and he was the first to stop the sex. During that time, my OCD got worse, and I wouldn't have been comfortable having sex after that. I'm much better now, although I still might feel "dirty" having sex (and not dirty in the fun way). Anyway, none of my gynecologists or other doctors have found a cause for my pain. Well, they have, but it's been everything from yeast infections (which were cleared up, but I still had pain with intercourse) to being misshapen or "tiny" (other docs said I was normal), and other things that still haven't resolved the issue.