confused, being led on update!

Righttt, so I dont know if anyone read it but i posted a thread about this girl who was leading me on.

I dont even know if im straight, bi gay or what myself and there are a lot of added complications which I'm not gonna go into at this time cause its not really that relevant but yeah.

But either way, im pretty strung up on this girl. I thought she was totally straight and to be honest a lot of me still does, but she says some things that really get my brain ticking. The first time I told her i thought I was bi she said 'ive neveer had a girl come on to me to know' which i thought was a bit off a inconclusive statment but dismissed. The other night I went to hers for a piss up, and things got a bit.. all over each other. When we went to bed we ended up snuggling up and holding hands etc. and i told her that she made me feel really safe, which she was really happy about.

She then started asking me how I knew I was bi, and to be honest I was totally knocked baacked and didnt know what to say, so I said I didnt to be honest and how I just had issues with men so thought I was. I tihnk this might ahve really pushed her away but to be honest I think I felt really guilty that tehere we were snuggling up and she thinks I'm bi and shes srtaight. If she is straight I will leave her be.

But now I dont know how to be, ive left things really shitly. I want to tell her that I think I am bi, and just keep seeing how things go but at the same time I really just wanna chill out a bit and her some space! but she really does make me feel really safe and all I honestly want to do is be with her all the time and yeah. Literally, nothing sexual at all. But if she is straight I dont think she'll want that.

What do peopple think from the outside looking in and what the hell should I do? I want her!

Can you not be bi and have a girlfriend or girl partner? Thats not the worst thing in the world. Who know she may not mind if you are bi. If you are hers then it might not matter as long as you are faithful to her. Plus you don't know. So your not certin. You could be stright and need her help to find out. You night like bi things she's willing to accept and still be stright. In my opinion continue to persue her and see what happens. Will you hate your self if you don't at least give it your best shot.

Thanks for your response.

Yeah no, I defo can. If I am bi, thats fine. I can come to terms with that easily. I don't know whether SHES bi. I wish she was but I just dont know. From her id think shes straight, but from what she says im not so sure? its also that like.. when you always catch someone staring at you kinda thing? and she acts a bit awkward around me sometimes? but idk if thats cause shes straight and warning me away or if its cause shes bi but hasnt come to terms with it or what!

You don't both have to be bi. Will it not work if one of you is and one of you is not. It would make it more challenging but it may not matter if you love someone and they love you.

But if shes straight, then surely shes not gonna love me the way i love her?

Why not. It is love. You have the "necessary equipment". The fact that your sexual prefrence is for male and female is irrelevant. You are not for certin about that bi label. You may not be.

For give my stupidity. What leads you to believe you are bi. You don't have to post that personal type of info here. You may have already said that some where here at PC, if so tell me where to look so I have clarity. I 'm afraid w/ out all the info I may not give correct info. Please elaborate or feel free to PM me.

I really don't see your sexual prefrence for both as a deal breaker. It would be something t o keep in mind. Something I'd like to know before things progress to far. But certinly not something that would make me leave the person I love. Espicially it they were committed to soley me. Unless we agreed other wise. (You just never know) Bi could have it's sexual perks for both of you.

I think I may have mislead you somewhere to believe I'm a man? I'm not, lol. So I dont have the right sexual parts unfortunately. Which is why if she's straight, this isn't going to work.

I will try hunt down my old thread. Basically though, I am attracted to other women. I dont know really in what way. I suffer from BPD, so I tend to idealize women. I don't know whether its just that or something more though. I've been through some SA in the past from both men and women which has basically screwed me up and now I dont know how I feel at all, or how I've been made to feel. Ive tried doing sexual things with women, I do find it exciting but to an extent during and majorly after I feel pretty disgusted. However, I could say the say for men. I think some off the disgust is probably from the earlier abuse, but I just dont know. To be honest, I think I'd quite happily be asexual in some ways, but I love being close to people so I dont know.

OK. That does make things different. Sorry for my mis conception. OK so your potentially bi. There is nothing wrong w/ that. The girl you've been hangin w/ must be ok w/ that if she didn't flee upon finding this info out. It still doesn't change anything. If there are shared feelings between the two of you in an intimate way, then it's at least worth talking to her about. Find out what she is thinking. What her concerns are. What if she is as unsure of her sexual identity as you are. More than likely if she is participating in things w/ you you can either have a really good friend. Females seem to be a lot more "friendly" with other girls then guys would be w/ one another. We go to the bathroom together, we change clothes in frount of one another, females can be half dressed and not have any concerns if it's just girls. Guys are so not like that. I really don't think being bi is a problem as long as your loyalties lie w/ her. Your potential prefrence for men may not be a huge concern of hers. Espicially since your not sure.

I to have had some SA issues. I'm very cautious around men. I happen to be married to one. I have a curitosity of females, but I choose not to persue that. I understand why a female may feel more intune to another female. I'll just never know and I'm ok w/ that.

Forgive me. My ADD and PTSD leaves me w/ short term memory issues. I do remember now conversing w/ you in an earlier post about this. I was telling you about a discussion we had in our ladies group at church.

Just keep ticking along. Hopefully this will work out to your favor. But keep your head up as you work on discovering who you really are.

Its okay, I didnt clarify. I also tend to use the term gay rather than lesbian which always makes people think I'm a man.

I don't know if theres shared feelings or not. Maybe shes just like this with everyone, and I'm totally reading into everything. Maybe Im just kidding myself and being really optomistic thinking that she might be bi too.

I'm more concerned about her than myself. I just want to know how she feels.

Yeah, I have shocking memory, but now you say it I do remember, I had a feeling you'd replied on my previous post.

Again, thank you for replying I really do appreciate it.

Well you don't know unless you ask. The longer you wait the more time goes by that you or hear may feel misled/misleeding. There is no better way to answer a question then to ask. It may not turn out well, but then again it may.

I know that advice is so much easier said then done. Just like people tell here tell me I'm in an abusive relationship and to leave already. SO much easier said than done. Best of luck to you in this. Keep me updated. You are certinly in a tough spot .

Yeah I suppose, I wouldnt be worried if we werent such good friends. I think deep down I know shes straight so in a weird way I dont wanna ask, but I'm just gonna keep hurting myself even more if I dont so yeah, I will have to 'man up' and ask I guess.

THanks for talking this through with me, I really appreciate it.