Not now!... I'll be disowned :(

I have a problem... I'm in love with my best friend. And it's a girl. I've told her before that I love her and she said she loved me too. We both said that if we were gay that we would date each other... But we were kinda teasing them... But I'm serious now.

Today was her birthday and I went out to dinner with her and her family. And I couldn't stop watch ing her laugh and smile.and then on the drive back she started to fall asleep on my shoulder. I had this VERY STRONG URGE to kiss her. but I didn't of course...

I use to go to the same school as her. And we would see each other every hour of every day. And we held hands through the halls (because we are best friends) and she is always there for me and she is beautiful and sweet and funny and I LOVE HER!!!!

But this is against my religious. It says in the Bible that a man is made for a woman, not a woman and a woman... I would be shunned.

I don't know what to do... I don't see her very often anymore but I love her soooooo much. And i just start bawling when someone mentions her name. Tears of joy, because she is such an amazingly perfect person. Ad tears of pain, because I never get to see her....

WHAT CAN I DO?!?!???? My heart is breaking into a billion pieces....

There are plenty of Christian denominations that embrace homosexuality which is a normal part of human existence. If you eventually figure that you are lesbian and want to combine it with being Christian, you will have viable options for that. You will eventually live on your own independent of your parents and you will be able to make your own choices.

You don't "combine" things with Christianity. It is solid. I just can't love her because its wrong.... But my heart says so differently. I just want to be a part of her life forever.

Usually, when people come to that point when their heart contradicts the teachings, they start to question the teachings and fare well. People who believe the dogma and question their hearts do not fare so well. Which way you will go is up to you. Also, it should be readily apparent to you that if your parents do not give you unconditional love (if they are ready to disown you, they do not love you unconditionally), then something is very seriously wrong both with your parents and with whatever and whoever inspire them.

Personally I do not agree with homosexuality for those exact religious reasons. And while there are similar denominations that do not have these views they, in my opinion, completely ignore the text in the bible itself and apply meanings that pretty much go against it. I do not believe much in religion switching either. A religion, like any set of laws or rules to live by, is a truth. But to leave this truth for "another" makes me question whether that person wants a set of rules or simply something that caters to them at the moment. Like any set of laws there will be some that you simply don't like. Are all of the other laws simply folly because I disagree with one or another? I can understand leaving because of multiple ideas that you simply do not agree with but I was never a fan of changing for one that did not lead to anything such as the harming of another person.

When matters of the heart are involved I do believe that there is a time when we cannot simply make decisions based on feeling but also on logic. There are plenty of times in life where we simply can't do exactly whatever we want and must do what is necessary whatever that means.

But while I disagree with homosexuality I am in no place to judge the decisions of others. At the end of the day everyone must choose their own path.

So I would tell you to pray on it and see what happens. You know where I stand on this but you have to make your own decisions. Good luck.

To me disagreeing with homosexuality is like disagreeing with trees growing on the face of this Earth. They will keep growing no matter the disagreements.

The trees do not choose to grow. But again just because I disagree with your opinion does not mean that I don't respect it.

Thank you for sharing your views. I believe that homosexuality is wrong and a sin, but I do not judge those who have chosen to go down that path. I am not God. So I will not judge. But I do not encourage this path.

I didn't understand until now. You can fall in love with anyone. Any race, any size, any religion, and any gender. It doesn't matter who, you just love them. But you can chose to act upon it or not.

I don't know what to chose. Should I tell her? Or forget about it?

I know we would never have a future together because two women aren't meant to be together. But is it worth it to confess to her and see what happens?

I try to remember that neither my perceptions nor my imagination define the truth. It is not my place to judge and I certainly respect opinions that do not agree with mine. Feelings and even attractions to other people are not all that uncommon. Yet I try not to let my feelings define my reality if I can help it. For the Christian, our relationship with God and the teachings of the scriptures are our best source of wisdom and truth, rather than the prevailing attitudes or beliefs of contemporary culture. Given that you believe in and trust God, I would let His word be your guide

Seems like you want to tell. The rest of the words and opinions of this thread don't seem very relevant to what you originally posted. Only you can decide.

Well you would have to think about what you would achieve by telling her that. If your feelings were reciprocated would it change the situation for you?

If you have chosen not to go along with it I wouldn't say anything. That would make things harder than they already are. If I met a girl that had different views than I then yeah it would be freakin hard to not to go after her. But I know that I couldn't go through with it. I would keep her as a friend but I wouldn't go any further than that. I can also understand that you might just want to put it out there and get it off of your chest. That's a hard thing to but I wouldn't do it.

If you have chosen to go with it then telling her would be what I expect.

I apologise if this comes across as insulting to people, it's going to touch on religion and it's not my intention to insult anyone's beliefs.

<puts on flame retardant suit>
Girl,
I have a god-daughter who is 15 and I have lived with her mum and her since she was born, so she's like a daughter to me. A couple of months ago she came home and told her mum she thought she was gay because she was attracted to a girl at her youth club. At first, her mum was shocked and somewhat disappointed because she wants grand-kids. After thinking about it for a while though she/we realised two things:

1. This may be a phase she's going through. She is young, hormones are flying through her body (Don't we know it!) and she's learning about herself and who she is. Her attraction to her friend may go somewhere or it may not. Whatever happens, it's her journey and as the significant adults in her life, it's our job to support her when she needs it and give her the space, freedom and guidance to become a good adult.

2. So what if she's gay? It is important in this life to feel secure, be free from harm, to feel a sense of belonging and to be loved (look at Maslow's Triangle of Needs). If my god-daughter finds these things with a woman, then I will not care a jot that it's a woman. I would rather she was with a woman who satisfied those needs than a man who doesn't or worse, one that traps her and takes those needs away.

I was brought up a Catholic, we went to church every Sunday, confession once a month, etc. The bible teaches forgiveness, understanding, honesty, so why did my father frequently beat me for perceived naughtyness? It didn't make sense and is very hypocritical. I didn't understand, and still don't, why religion could preach forgiveness on one hand yet preach hatred against others with different beliefs with the other.

One day when I was 18/19 I had an epiphany brought on by a completely non-religious film - 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure'. In that film, they have a motto "Be excellent to one another". To me, that is 90% of what the bible is trying to say. The 10 commandments can be summarised with that motto. Most of Jesus's teachings can be summarised with that motto. For example, the feeding of the 5000 is Jesus living that motto. I know this seems that I'm trivialising the bible, but I'm really not.

From that moment, I have tried to live my life to that motto. I try not to judge, I try to forgive, I try not to anger. I try to live my life in a way that supports those around me without hurting anyone.

How does this relate to you?
Well I could split hairs and say that Leviticus 18:22 talks about male homosexuality being a sin and not female. I could also point out that Leviticus also promotes slavery, a practice that is now outlawed in most countries in the world. But I don't want to get into a theological debate.

I will simply say, please don't beat yourself up over this. You are young and you are learning about yourself. After everything you've been through, it's no wonder you are seeing attraction in women. Maybe it's a phase and maybe it isn't. Whatever it is, be true to yourself and don't force yourself into one way of life that will make you unhappy.

Girl of many faces does not choose to feel love for her female best friend. I have never felt what she feels and I recognize the experience she reports as something I will never go through. I have lovely girlfriends who are important to me but I have never felt love for them the way GOMF does. This is because I am strictly straight and have been so since age 7 according to my recollections and since age 3 according to my mother's recollections. I have not chosen to be straight, just as trees do not choose to grow and just as GOMF does not choose to feel love for her female friend. Exactly as trees's growing.

Thank you sooooo much! I really needed to hear that.

It is not just that, about the grandchildren. I am glad that my son is straight even though I have no issues with homosexuality and support equal rights for homosexuals and all the rest of that, but I know that this society is more convenient for heterosexuals so I am glad that he will have fewer difficulties when he goes through life.

well I know I'm bi. But I just want to be happy for once.. Ya know? I know it would be harder later in life if I'm with a girl. But if she makes me happy. Isn't that a good thing?

It is a good thing. Whatever makes you happy and does not hurt others is a terrific thing. No doubt about that.

My wife is bisexual. She had a girlfriend in college, and now she is married to me. I think it is just about finding someone that makes you happy. Relationship don't come with a lifelong contract. If you find someone that makes you happy and you make them happy then I say that is what matters. Enjoy what moments we get to feel good about and accept the people that care about us.

Really?! Wow. Thank you for sharing. It was very helpful!

You will have more than enough time to sort this out.

girlofmanyfaces, the last thing you said is what I believe, You and love who ever you please, but do not let sexual immorality come into the picture. When the argument is Sodam and Gamora and god made these people so God made gay and lesbian people so he should not have done that.

First God doesn't make mistakes

Second God did make homosexuality but he also says that it is not a sin to be homosexual it is only a sin to act on homosexual urges sexually.

The difference in animals and humans is that humans can choose to right or wrong.

If my sons came home and told me they were gay, I would not be the most thrilled parent ever, but they are my child and I would love them reguardless. If the individual they choose as a partner is male instead of female, I won't be overly excited, but I will always love my child and if that is what they choose then I'll love there partner as much as I love them. If you hurt your child by not excepting them for who they are that is terrible. If you do not accept there choice for a life long mate then in turn you are only hurting your child. I hope it never comes to that but I love my children and will do everything in my power to support them.

My H disagrees. If either of our boys bring home a male or are they are gay they are disowned and so is anyone who supports them. I told him for his sake then he better hope they do not do that because I love my children and will support them no matter what. I just know what the bible says and I feel like that is the source to go to. But on the other hand you love the sinner not the sin.

But it is discriminating to create a majority of people and allow them to act on their sexual urges and to create a minority of people and disallow them to act on those same sexual urges. Unfair, blatantly discriminating, and a faulty design. Usually, one of the main qualities believers attribute to deities and creators is fairness. We clearly have a big problem with fairness in this case. I think it is enough that people are born with different endowments of abilities, some into poverty and some into wealth, some into loving families and some into abusive families. To add unfair treatment for sexual orientation on top of that is extraordinary unfairness.

There is also the issue of victimhood. Any set of laws that is reasonably acceptable should clearly spell out the distinction between acts that hurt somebody and those that do not. In that vein, it should be clearly spelled out that rape is a crime and consensual homosexual acts are just that, consensual acts without hurting any victims. If a set of laws fails to distinguish between rape and consensual sex, it is seriously flawed.

I just meant "harder in life" strictly in the sense of fitting into society and having equal rights with others. I did not mean to say that your life will be happier for you if you were heterosexual.

I'm not sure where the bible says it's ok for anyone to act on their sexual urges...

And if God would intervene in the way you ask could that be done without removing someone's free will? Jesus was also a poor man who received no extra treatment and never asked for it even when his life was in danger. I don't pretend to understand life but I do not believe the point of life is to gain riches... And is the construct of wealth not created by man? Do you think it would be God's fault that you were not born as the 1%?

And if the living situation of every human was controlled could this be done without intervention that would undermine acts that were in no way violent or incorrect?

Because laws do far more than to prevent only violence so and so I do not understand that stance either. And although many of my own religion would disagree, I believe coincidences do happen.

It is written that by following the commandments one will gain access to heaven. If God were to intervene in every situation then how could it be possible to truly test any man? Would you speak anything but "truth" if the sword of Damocles hung over your head?

But again I am not interested in telling anyone that they are wrong and I would not like to break any rules on religious discussion. I do apologize if I have done either of those things.

That was the problem with my case. The detective didn't want to have to charge a 17 year old "child" with rape. So he said it was consensual. And it was NOT! It was very much rape. Nobody listens to me though. They just think I'm trying to stay out of trouble by not admitting to having sex... But it wasn't my choice. That's why I feel so much at fault for what happened. He forced himself on me and I couldn't stop him. So this is what I get...