Your views on fetishes and the BDSM lifestyle

Japan scares me in every single way.

My worst fetish is probably knife play.

There is some really cool anime porn though.

I know with knife play some people get off on the percieved fear. Others on the sensation of the cold steel touching them. There's also some skillful cutting as well I believe? It's not an area I know much about tbh.

Being suspended by flesh hooks can look quite cool, it actually hurts more pushing things through the skin from the inside than from the outside. Not that I've used flesh hooks. I've played with needles and pins a bit though

Anime porn is stupid. It's a cartoon, not a real person.

I like the touch of cold steel. I like the sting. Things like kissing her while she cuts my leg.

I like Anime Porn

Phreak-husband doesn't want to go for counseling because as far as he is concerned i am the one with mental problems.

But thank you.
Just taking it a day at a time. One day it will probably come out. And i do verbalize well, am rather capable of getting my point out without being hurtful. So, when that day comes, i will handle it as well as possible.

I just don't get animated porn I guess. It's paint and paper. Not human flesh you'd actually want to touch.

I like porn in books too though, erotic stories, imagery.. can't really touch that either

You could try turning it around. Tell him he's right, but you need his help so that you can improve yourself to help make him more satisfied with you.

Clearly it's not you, it's both of you, but guys like being needed. Also you're luring him under the guise of sorting yourself out to make him happier.

I guess it's true about people with BPD we do know how to manipulate (I have BPD)

Ultinately you can only bang your head against a wall so much before getting bored and giving up - just wish you luck with it.

I'm not into those either. I guess I just like real visuals. Everything else comes up short for me.

---- that is such a 'sub' way to handle a situation like that. Almost like topping from the bottom I'm having a very emotionally unwell day and i read that and totally laughed. thank you.

Well I assumed the other option of "it's booked, you're coming, end of discussion" would in this situation be less likely to work.

Know thy enemy, play to thy adversaries weakness.

After all you'd already tried the proper way of doing things - honest, direct discussion.

Oh and you're welcome

oh good a new thread on this.

I'm in the lifestyle and have been for about 5 years. Haven't played alot lately, but I was dealing with much bigger issues. I'm a practicing SadoMasochist Bottom. But I do switch it up quite a bit and I'm naturally dominant. I love to relax and let someone else do the flogging and provide the sensations.

Recently told my therapist about my proclivities. This is the first therapist I've ever revealed that part of my life to. It was very insightful. I was not, nor did I expect to be judged for it.

I think its a fabulous part of my sexuality. And I think it's likely the same for most who are in the BDSM community. As long as it is part of a balanced life, I don't see an issue.

How can you tell if a guy is submissive/dominant sexually without asking them? I mean, guys like to play the 20 question game with me and they ask about my fantasies, but so far I've gotten mixed responses when I talk about Nazi fetishes (some like it, others don't really care), and I haven't even mentioned strap-on fantasies yet. How do you even bring that up?

With a lot of lubricant (alcohol). Just ask them straight up. How do you feel about the idea of being ****ed with a strapon? Some guys will love it, some'll run a mile, but at least you'd know.

My gf had a strapon from her previous relationship with a girl that she'd never had chance to use (her gf cheated on her), I let her try it on me . It's not something I'd try again but within limits lots of people will try most things once.

I just can't see myself asking that unless *I* was drunk enough! Maybe when the relationship is solid I'll ask him. Knowing me, I think I will end up with a guy who is naturally submissive.

Or I can lubricate him the old fashioned Miss Emma way: lube him up, hold him down, and tell him to hold the f*** on!

LMAO just kidding xD

I was intentionally going for duel meaning with the lubricant comment

Decide yourself how important certain aspects are to you right at the start of a relationship, there's no point hoping for the best and crossing your fingers on things that you don't want to go without. Submissive men are a dime a dozen. Women acting dominant are like gold dust. Basically be picky, you can afford to be.

High five! I feel we are connected somewhere in the deepest realms of the universe.

So far, I've never had much of the opportunity. I have a secret "monthly trial" where I wait a month or so before deciding if he is boyfriend worthy. I hate jumping into the "bf/gf" relationship only to break up three weeks into it.

Post on somewhere like fetlife "Seeking willing applicants to serve me in the following fantasy, if you'd like to be considered for the position please submit a 1000 word application summerising your suitability"

Honestly, I should probably try it, but I want a boyfriend, not just a sex partner.

Far easier to find a bf who's into what you like. Than to find a random guy and hope he'll be up for it.

this is hysterically funny, thanks

If you get 50 X 1000 word applications, you will need to hire staff to process them. It is better to have a questionnaire with multiple choice and true/false q's (you can use Google drive's "form" file type). First, in the questionnaire you will be able to ask questions that matter for you, and, questionnaires are far easier to process when you need to deal with bulk (G drive has tools for that).

You can still request a 1000 word application in addition to the questionnaire, to the extent that one might want to read more prose. The general approach is promising.

passive aggressive is bad news

What is the connection between touching or being touched by unusual objects (wax, knives, etc.) and sexuality? I can see how one might enjoy the sensation of such touch, and, how one might get some sort of an interesting experience from the danger side of it, but none of it seems remotely sexual in nature.

The suggestion of the 1000 word application, was less about the contents, more about them putting the effort into writing it.

Turn ons are different things to different people. Like you identified it is a lot about the sensation and touch. Imagine you're laying blindfolded and naked on the bed, and suddenly you get wax dripped on you. It can be a surprise, and you won't know where to expect it. You also won't know how hot it'll be as the higher it's dripped from the cooler it'll be upon impact.

The mind is the most eroganos part of the body to play with.

N.B. If anybody decides they want to play with candles for the first time, get special purpose made candles as they burn at lower temperatures.

Oh, I see. Get the email responses with 1000 word applications, put the check mark next to "guy motivated enough to compose an essay", and delete without reading. OK. I just did not immediately get it.
That is the only thing of all that I can understand, because I like caressing the flame of a burning candle.