Doing things in the car

Last night my guy *insert title here* and I were texting about hanging out. He had his sister over at his house and I had my parents at my house, so he brought up doing things in the car.

He said we could try kinky stuff or fingering, "eating out", bj's...and talking about it totally turned me off.

This makes me feel confused. I want to do things with him, but doing things in the car just wasn't part of "the plan." My plan is to have intercourse with him in a bed first, and experiment in a bed first. I feel like I am wasting opportunities to do things because I'd rather have it a certain way. Plus, I didn't want to risk getting caught, and I want to do things in an environment where there's no chance of getting caught.

Am I being unrealistic? Should I go do things in the car with him or should I wait until we are in a bed where we can't get caught?

If this might end up as being your 1st official time, I suggest it being in a pleasant / comfortable place like a bed. You don't want your 1st time in a car - very cramped and not exactly romantic. A car is fine later on after the 1st time, since most people have had encounters in cars. I'm assuming you and your partner are old enough to rent a room - is that an option.

Damn, I didn't think of that. Oh well, he said he was too broke to go out anyway.

I second Lynn's suggestion...a car isn't exactly romantic (nor inconspicuous), and you deserve better for your first time. I don't blame you being turned off by the idea (and did he really phrase it as "eating out?" Seems blunt to the point of disrespect, but...well, you know me ).

I don't think it's you "wasting opportunities." I think it's you not willing to compromise on something that matters to you, which I think is admirable.

Awww thanks.

And he did saying "eating out", but he used quotation marks like he didn't know how else to put it. I would say "eating out" is an acceptable term. And we already gone over not wanting to do bj's until after intercourse because it's still going inside me and I just want it to count.

A couple of my doctors have told me that it shouldn't matter what counts as your first time, but to me, I just want to have intercourse first.

Fair enough. I've never had to phrase it myself, and come to think of it, lol I don't know how I would either, so...I can understand that.

If it matters that standard intercourse be your first, then I say you should stick to your guns. Just be safe and all.

I think this is sounding really planned and clinical but if it's the way you want it then I'm in support. When I was your age (well quite a bit younger really) it was hormonal and urgent. Your self control is commendable. I hope when it finally happens it's a great experience for you.

I was the skip's age and also made sure I was protected.

I've only been planning this since I was 4...ish. Sex is all I think about, and I've had more than a few opportunities to have sex, but I never felt ready. I'm not sure if I am in love, but I feel safe and supported.

Sounds like myself (lol minus the age difference...you had probably a 8 year head start on me if you started planning it at 4 ). Opportunities came, and I either didn't feel ready or didn't want to share that with the person at hand (namely a stalker of mine in high school). I wanted, then and now, for it to mean something.

lol Ironically, now that I do feel ready, the opportunities that used to love to hang around sort of up and vanished. -_- But that's a whole 'nother story there, I suppose.

Feel any reservations about the love not being there? I'm stretching my memory thin, but that was a concern of yours once, was it not?

Protected from what?

Okay so you were thinking about it earlier than I was It's a view on sex I've never encountered but it's interesting.
It's def best to be ready but you don't want to turn it into a lab experiment. That seems like it would be something like trying to appreciate/understand music through mathematics.
Loving the person would probably add a whole new dimension to it. Unfortunately I can't speak from experience on that but I'd be willing to bet on it. No advice or anything here... just trying to understand. Carry on Doc

The car isn't romantic but if you want to masturbate him without making awkward eye contact it's pretty good.

I do not think you are being unrealistic at all. Wanting your first time to be in a bed is very normal actually. I would insist that you have a set of standards and you are sticking to them. I think if you stick to it and hold boundaries, the experience will be more exciting and memorable in a positive way. I hope your bf understands and wants the experience to be beautiful too. This would show his respect for you which adds to the sexual experience and makes it even more pleasurable.

George - "protected" from pregnancy.

Also if you wanted to orally copulate him there would be no awkward eye contact. There would also be no awkward silences either because your mouth would be too busy for talking anyway. It's also a failsafe technique to arouse your male partner. Really the perfect technique to avoid first-time awkwardness for all those reasons.

But oral can't count as your first time, and I want mine to count!

You can do both. Orally copulate him until he is nice and hard, and then take advantage of his length by mounting him. By the time you're ready to have intercourse with him the initial awkwardness will have been assuaged by the fact that you've already had his cock in your mouth.

Skipper, It is your body and your experience, and it will be your life long memory. You should make it be what you want it to be. My first time was with a guy I loved very much, and he suggested we use a friends bed room. We did oral, and when he wanted to go all the way, I told him I couldn't because he had been using pot all evening. I am not opposed to pot, but I didn't want my first time to be with a person who was stoned. He waited and took me to his house 2 weekends later. He was warm and tender and all went well. 3 weeks later I caught him in the act with another girl. But the fact remains the same. I had enough dignity to say how I wanted things to be, things were picture perfect, and I have no regrets in regards to how I lost my virginity and who I lost it to. Turns out the girl I caught him with, he got pregnant. So I am quite happy it was not me. In defense of his character, he married the girl and they are still married and have 4 more children.

There is always the hotel option. $50.00 for a room or $50.00 for a meal. Have a picnic in the floor and then have fun. Enjoy the evening in the floor or on the bed. Money well spent.

Something to think about with getting a room though, I have run into this issue. My H and I used to get a room before we were married, and in hind sight getting a room made me feel cheep. I was not important enough to take home. It made me feel like a *****. Just sayin, that may not be the case with you but it is/was with me.