[MusicalRaven]

I've finally figured out of what my first fear is. I'm afraid I will never love or be loved by anyone sexually. I am 28 still a virgin and I'm a big girl. I would say BBW but I don't feel beautiful and I certainly don't feel like a woman.

My only boyfriend couldn't get hard and would go soft anytime he tried to fool around. He said it wasn't me but now after being broken up with him I'm starting to think that it was. I'm a big girl. I'm not terriy attractive. I feel so ugly and I can't see how any guy would want me. And they don't.

I just had to get that put there.

Thank you for putting it there.

As a woman, I cannot speak to what men find attractive.....media would have us believe something totally unreasonable....

But I see a plenty of couple of all different shapes and sizes....both in real life and in my online visits to various forums and chat rooms..

We are not what we appear...true, attraction is visual initially, but trust me, many men go for women who will not blow over in the wind.

Your ex's problem was HIS problem, not yours....

[hamster-bamster]

Let me ask you this question, although it is a very personal information, but you put it here, so - what is your shape like? A big exaggerated hourglass? A big bottom heavy (wide hips and a big bum) with everything else comparatively dmaller? Very busty with a short neck and not much of a waistline? Round like a ball?

I am asking because the advice would depend on your answer.

[Big Mama]

I am no small fry, I don't think guys are so much concerned about the packaging. I have met several guys who have said they would rather have a larger woman. They are great cooks, more motherly, and know what it is like to face rejection, they don't wonder around thinking they are gods gift to man. So don't be so hard on yourself.

Big girls like sex to. It does sound like it was the guy who had an issue, not an issue with you. From what I know about guys (no offence guys) it is not your face and body size they are interested in and thinking about. They have there eye on the "prize". So I wouldn;t worry to much about it.

You need to try and build your confidence. I would forget about men for the time being and work on that. Also if your size is bothering you then you could do exercise and diet. And btw I'm not suggesting you do this just to get a man, this is something you really should do for your own health regardless of whether you're with a man who's accepting of your size or not.

[hamster-bamster]

Lycanthrope, don't give the woman false hopes of reducing her size. Exercise and diet might sound like a reasonable proposition (as opposed to suggesting a fad diet), but the most likely outcome of an attempt to reduce size is a short term reduction followed by gaining more weight that was lost in the first place, so the long term outcome of most attempts to lose weight is weight gain. Fewer than 5 % of people succeed in LONG TERM weight loss. Normally, one does not embark on a venture with such pitiful odds.

exercise for the sake of performance, feeling good, improving cognitive abilities, and what have you is a good idea, though, as is the advice to gain confidence, etc., but no, attempting to lose weight for a person already unhappy about her size is really, really a losing proposition, meaning that OP won't lose weight but will lose what precious little confidence she currently has, and then what will she be left with - frustrated, defeated, and disappointed?

[SmallestFatGirl]

FWIW, MusicalRaven, I was about 270lbs on my wedding day. I truly believe that it was an issue with your ex, not an issue with you.
I think the first step for the here and now is going to be making a decision. And it's not easy! I'm not going to tell you what that choice is because I'm not in your shoes. Only you can decide. But it could be making the choice between learning to love yourself a little more or getting healthier by improving your physical status. But as much as being single can be terribly lonely, it seems to me that you need to gain some inner strength right about now. I know it's hard, believe me. I've personally been on this "self-improvement journey" for 2 years now. But it is worth it. *You* are worth it.

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