Is an affair the way to go?

unplugmealready · Oct 05, 2015, 02:32 PM

I guess at the moment I haven't been placed in a situation where an affair would be possible. I don't want to just go out and get laid. I want it to be meaningful with the one I love and care for. But at the same token if the opportunity where to manifest itself then I'm not totally sure what path I would take. I don't want an affair. I know the consequences and I know how badly it hurts. I'd rather call it a day and get divorced. But in the same respect I fully understand why they happen and cannot necessarily blame the parties involved. When children, finances, disability etc are taken into consideration it's not so straightforward.

bugbear83 · Oct 08, 2015, 01:32 AM

It sounds like you're not just craving sex, you're craving love! That's nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone needs to feel loved and special, and for a lot of people sex is an important part of that connection with another human being.

My first advice would be to try and look at it from a "lack of love" perspective. Figure out what issues have started to drive the two of you apart, and see if any are fixable. Maybe the kids are really stressful and you two never see each other? Maybe someone's dealing with grief or a long term illness? Maybe you two just simply lost touch along the way. But trying to reestablish that connection will ultimately help bridge the way back to physical intimacy~

I wish you all the best. Try not to make any quick decisions, and whatever you do keep your wife up to date! Communication is the key. (((hugs)))

Oct 09, 2015, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fijiisland

Most women do not understand how important sex is to a man. Men live for sex. It is built into them (I am a woman)
Let me ask you some questions
Does your wife orgasm during sex? If you think she does have orgasms do you think she is faking them?

The whole point of sex is to orgasm and most women do not. So really what is point of sex if you know you are not going to orgams?

She may not feel appreciated. You may have very young children. She may secretly want sex but not with you. She may have a fantasy life in her head of what she wants and it is not happening.

What if you threatened to divorce?

Cheating is never the answer!! You must divorce and find someone who understands- though a lot of women do not. They think they do but don't!

I don't want you to lose your house, your kids, etc. but if she is not having sex with you at 30 years old, will she when she is 50??

I have been divorced, had kids, and without getting into a lot of discussion know both sides to this issue. And if I could have I would of had an affair when married!!! But I did not have time to meet anyone.

You need counseling with her, if she won't go, get rid of her. However, if you do get rid of her, she may find someone else that she DOES have sex with regularly!!

Men are built for sex? Then what are women? Kind of sexist.

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Is an affair the way to go?

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