The ignorance of why I'm not getting laid.

I found this out today. A friend told me something, that's been blowing up more than ever. Many girls I run into, assume I'm gay or possibly bisexual hopefully.

Like I was not getting laid, because they thought I acted or talked like I was gay. It's the people who are so insanely ignorant or stupid are the reason I'm not getting laid.

I opened up to my friend about being bisexual, because I wanted to say something about it. He told me that out of the blue because we are always around different girls. All of them thought and wondering if I was straight or not.

Wow just wow....

I can't believe how stupid people can get, but that's beyond me.

I am sorry you have been having problems in your personal life. Perhaps now that you know what the problem is you can start fixing it. People are people and sometimes you have to educate them a bit.

Dude, that stereotype is ridiculous in today's world. Heck, 20 years ago people thought my roommate and I were gay. Where the heck they got that was beyond me, he always had a girlfriend. (I couldn't get a date in a morgue.) But it shows that even in the face of blatant evidence, people with throw a stereotype at someone.

I know right I was saying the same thing with my friend. We were making jokes about how stupid people are with this.

People at school use to regularly ask me quite innocently if I were gay.... including one air head of a girl who asked me in class with my ex-gf sitting next to me. lol

People stereotype, whatever that stereotype is, it happens, that's life.

I had been asked the same question more than once. The reason is i act like a gentleman i dont use bad languaje and i dont like to talk dirty about girls i guess is a stereotype it didnt bother me at first but now im almost 40 and i dont get laid too often and yes it bothers me now i dont fit in the categorie of a (man) i guess dont worry people are just people sometimes too ignorant

You are bisexual though? So they are half correct?
I don't think people are dumb. Girls love gay guys and men that know how to dress nice.
Do you clearly flirt with women? Do you make it clear you are into them?
I once really liked a guy and he claimed to like me too but didn't ever make a move so I asked him if he was gay because his words and actions did not match. Turns out he was very very shy.. Or so he said..
There's also that thought that if a man is too good to be true he must be gay..
I wouldn't call people dumb over it.. That won't help you.. If you want women to respond to you differently you need to act differently..
(This is something I am learning myself.)
The common denominator is you.

It's very irresponsible to blame others for your lack of sex. If you want to pursue girls, then do so and don't expect others to know which side of the field you're playing on, especially when you state you're bisexual. There are plenty of bisexuals who predominantly favor one gender over the other, and it sounds like you favor females over males. Being bisexual can be very confusing for others to understand, so it is YOUR responsibility to make yourself very clear about what it is that you want out of love and sex.

Yes. Yes and I'm bisexual I made this post along time ago, had some figuring out to do. No it's like no matter how hard I try or how well I execute. I'm always singled out and pushed away because another guy just isn't really attractive in any way she just jumps off the cliff and goes straight to him like every time. I'm not shy, I'm very charismatic and outgoing. I just don't act like a **** in person and people confuse that as me being weak.

I guess acting like a complete baffoon and talking like I'm in the 4th grade would get me a better chance it's worked for others I'm around. I truly mean they are dumb, because it's not just the girls it's the people. I should of clarified, a lot of people are not mindful. It's like all these super thirsty dudes get everything, because they don't have anything to provide except plain annoyance, and I guess I have to be annoying it's like I'm doing this all wrong. I can't help get mad at those times, because I'm in a seriously tough spot in my life.

Like I'm close to just killing myself, because I don't belong in the community I live in. I don't feel like I have anyone to go to, it's because I'm different and not like everyone else they make things up. I'm very very vocal. I just get mad no matter how well or much I make it obvious and clear it's like they are not seeing any of it.

I don't feel validated and there is a void of I don't know. If you saw what I am seeing you would know.

No not what I'm going for at all. I posted this a long time ago. I'm bisexual, I'm not confused anymore. I am more attracted to women than men. I'm trans and I'm not changing my body. I don't pursue guys. I pursue girls, when I do. I guess I don't do it right no matter how I've done it. I've done it differently, but it always ends in some unsatisfying result no matter how blunt, teasing, obvious, or subtle, how annoying how on point, or how inviting or uninviting I can be. It doesn't work.

It's gotten so bad, I've lost almost 90 lbs and consistently starving myself since june. I am purposely starving and purging, and yeah I get more attention from my looks, but I tend to feel like nothing works. I am happier I have control of destroying my body to oblivion. It's no one's fault except mine, but I haven't found what I am doing wrong. So what I do now, is ignore, because when I am nice and talking to someone. I'm shut down, and I tell them off or be respectful both don't work. I am just being myself like I am always people don't like me as myself and that's ok, but it sucks so much because it's like your existence is a bane in everyone's eyesores.

I don't know.

Maybe I should just blow my own head off for being a selfish ****, I don't have much. I work my *** off and have no money, regardless. I'm working till I die, and it wasn't my choice and I'm constantly fighting to drag myself out of this hole. I have a neurological condition that can shut down my nervous system at a moments notice and I can be temporarily paralyzed for an extended period at a time. I was born like that. I have all these problems still fight my *** off. It's not their fault they don't like me.

I can't help it.. Maybe living a life without any friends everyone ditches you, because it's just how it is I can't afford food anyways. So it's not that often I get to eat.

I'm not good enough for ****. That's how these comments make me feel, even though that may not be what you are going for at all.

Nothing I do good gets noticed and when I'm dead I don't care. I don't even need these male parts on me. I wish I was a woman from the get go. I wish I had a better support system than being in the poverty line from the get go. I force myself out so much, and constantly get shot back down.

I guess I'm the hater that can't get life done, that's not how I think, but other's treat me like that. This isn't my biggest concern. I'm afraid of being alone when I die. So it's whatever. **** me

I don't think it's fair to say everyone is stupid (and I would say of course they are "ignorant", as they don't know - you didn't tell them, presumably - therefore made a judgemental call based on the information presented to them) just because they presumably associate a certain behavior (stereotypical of those who are gay) with something you are not. It happens. Just be clearer with people so they know where they stand, that's all. Not saying be someone else, just say, ... "I'm bi and I like you". 'bout the size of it. If I looked like a woman, for example, I wouldn't say people are stupid and ignorant just because they assumed I'm a woman, ... sure, it'd suck like hell, but that'd be my issue, and something I could resolve by trying to make it clearer that I'm one way or the other. (like wearing a blue bow... hah xD)

I'm most definitely not stupid, but if I saw someone acting in such a way that screamed "homosexual", yes, I would instantly suspect or assume them to be gay, ... that's just how it works. lol We're only human, ... we associate things to other things, and make decisions and unfortunately judgements, whether good or bad. I'm not gonna feel guilty for it, 'though I do appreciate that it sucks to be in your position. If there are people who claim to work differently, then fair play to them, I suppose they're better than I.

It is interesting, though, how a woman can act very masculin and most people just seem to assume tomboy (like I do) but they could quite easily be a lesbian or even bisexual.

Ah, just easier to make things clear so there's no misunderstanding, like with a lot of things in life. Best of luck finding someone, be it man or woman.

PS:
You are also assuming that this theory of your friend's is correct, when it could just as easily not be. It could be anything. It could be that you don't give off any of those "hey, I like you" signals to sorta let the woman (or man?) know. It could be that your possible lack of reciprocation (or noticeable amount thereof) leads them to, yes, jump to conclusion, in thinking that you are gay. (I suppose, psychologically, it could be easier - less of a kick to the self-esteem - than to assume that you just don't like them.)

(just a perspective from a straight male)

PPS
Crap, sorry, I've just seen the above post and see that you said you posted this ages ago and admitted to being confused and what-not. Hopefully, if anything, this post has been an interesting read that perhaps gets you thinking.

I wish you saw what I saw, these people are just mean. I am saying that yes those situations happen, and usually results them being my friend for whatever reason. Not a big deal, most of the time when I spell it out. The laugh at me, because I don't look like that guy over their who fits their description.

Like it's very hurtful all the time, I'm not associating with anything to the point I'm always passed up no matter how hard I throw myself in the window breaking the glass and setting off explosions. It's like they don't notice me, and when they do they get very cold hearted about it.

I just want to quit. I am doing a serious effort in chiseling my body and starving myself it's working. I'm getting looks for once, but in all honesty. I find this all to be redundant. I here all these stories from my close friends of situations I was there and some I wasn't and they always get laid. I'm the one who gets left out. I find it sad, my friends will leave me out when girls come around it's a guy thing I know and it's human, but jesus. It's like I'm always passed up because I don't know this person and I don't know that person. I mean my silver tongue skills get me somewhere, but the brick wall is some silly excuses and just being flat out ignored for the dumbest reasons.

It's like I am stuck in a place of people who just want to hurt me and make me an excuse to be alive. Jesus I have gone mad, because I don't talk to people anymore, I am just getting ignored and feeling like I don't exist. I make people laugh and happy and go out my way to be around people, but they never do it for me. So I thought if I stopped trying they would come, nope never has happened once. I even stopped for 6 months no one has attempted to ask how I was doing or if I was ok.

I seriously wish I was a pretty girl. I wish people just notice me for my looks and see me as something approachable no fancy attire. No bubbly happy personality nor down to heart good friendly nature will get me anywhere. I can say I like you, I can flirt and be all the rage on that, but it's like I'm stuck with this weird scenario that I'm forced to be shut down and I'm so dissociated from my stress of general life. All I want to do, is just make a scene not because I'm feeling like to be immature. I can't distinguish reality anymore. I never connect with people, more rather I fear them, hate them, despise them, but I can't live without them. I got so badly abused and destroyed for all my life in many traumatic things back to back. It's either I'd be impersonal and detached or I'm freaking out, because I can't like anyone. I suppress it when I really like someone and go out my way, but it's so hard and difficult. I don't even want something huge either, just a ****ing friend is all I need. Like God, it's too much to ask.

I suffer from loneliness I don't talk about my problems and fear about saying what's bothering me ever in public and with my "friends". It's like I have to be so happy or else I'm a freak and no one should love me type of attitude. I lost so many friends, because they never understood. That I was dead in a coma 3 times the past 4 years. They never realize, I lost my daughter from an abusive ex who aborted her, but I'm glad she isn't suffering though. I am afraid if my mom dies, I will definitely be so alone. I will just end it immediately, like I just don't have patience to form any bond anymore. I can't do it, because it's beyond painful. It's so painful, because my rapist as a child destroyed what trust I had told me the only way I could be loved is being put in the dirt to be picked back up to be punched in the face and treated like crap for my own good so I can be strong. Then anyone else I wanted to feel safe, always destroyed me as much as they can. I can't do it!

Many days I just want to die, because I know it's inevitable and I don't want to do this stuff anymore. Like I'm really good at talking to people, but I hate doing it. I'm better than most of my friends, but I can't get what I want and need from people. I can't help it, my brain has like a constant backflow of confusion and my thoughts are never in order. I have PTSD, DID, Schizoaffective disorder, possibly schizophrenia, Psychosis NOS, Major Depressive, Body Dsymorphic is literally my diagnosis sheet.

I'm like not just one of those very extreme abuse cases. It's like I can't get closure, because the people I needed when I needed them the most every time in my life were never there and it's like I can't trust anyone. I hate everyone, because they never helped me. They constantly push me around when I just wanted a hug, I never had anyone tell me how much they cared. All the time since I was a very young child I wanted to die so young. It's like I'm just waiting to die and it's too much at times.

It's so hard to do the simplest things and I hate how my body just shuts down at a moments notice.

I really do care, it's just I'm never acknowledged as me, I show me, but people don't understand it. I'm saying, because people never understand what I'm talking about even my mom and dad. Everyone, it's so hard for me to describe anything. It's like no matter how hard I do it I can't in person.

I've done everything with coping 24/7 and dating is like not ever going to happen it's a far fetched dream. I only care about getting laid, just because my libido is out of control. I don't have any oxytocin feelings in my body. It's like I'm so deprived, I really don't know what it feels like to feel safe and comforted even in a false sense. I know you think that's bs and not backed up, but it is. My chemical imbalance is a very very high dopamine levels which caused my coma and stuff like oxytocin is not even there. I saw brain scans and have been told by a medical professional for my neuro problems.

It's like so infuriating when I can't do the things everyone else can do. I don't let it stop me, but it's so frustrating. I'm seriously handicapped in some way and I can't get out. It's not changed to a result to my liking to no matter what I do. I just don't think this is for me. I'd rather people come up to me than me going to them, but I doubt that would happen.

People fault me for things I can't control and it's why I don't like talking to people for anything even my own parents. It's a chore than actually getting validated for once. My sister treats me like dirt because of this, she intentionally made my friends call me "retarded" all the time and she knows better I'm not, but convinced all these people in her friends group and mine that I'm retarded.

It's like you can't escape this ****, it's like no matter how hard you try. It's better off I don't have my vocal chords, I can't put my words in to play how I want to. How I am charismatic is my confidence and genuine sensitivity to things, and very good at picking up cues, but when it comes to the words and the content. I should get an F. I'm not a person who makes up stuff or bs's like some of my friends say, it's just so hard to verbalize for example what anything is. I'm very bad at descriptions and condensing it. If I try to make my sentences smaller and easier to read or no more paragraphs. My brain just goes bonkers, it's like it's blank, nothing is there and I can't do anything about it. Like there is no activity going on in areas that should make it easier and others just go crazy like my imagination, anxiety now, and stuff like hallucinations and delusions. It's a constant uphill battle, when you live your life in an Drug Trip even when I don't do drugs often or even seldom anymore. It was there all my life, and it's like I can't leave this mental hell.

I see monsters in public places, I see horrifying faces, and beautiful people that don't exist. I had people talk to me and they never were there before. It's so hard to explain it, because others don't have it. And you are stuck in this forever trapped fantasy prison. It feels so detached from what everyone else has to take for granted. I wish I was like not ever having to see and hear things 24/7 and feel things and feeling like I'm dying all the time when I'm not. Never knowing when I'm awake or asleep. Never understanding anything anymore. It's like I'm trapped in existential hell and everyone is mad and crazy and out to hurt me by fooling me all the time in every way possible.

Being called crazy speaking my mind, and doing anything is purely hell to me, because people persecuted me, shunned me and beat me for it before. I got neglected and thrown out into very bad situations from people taking advantage of it to drug me. Last year that happened and I was left to die on the side of the road. I didn't know what was going on before, then I woke up realized I was in a coma and barely conscious enough to realize I am experiencing hypothermia, because it was 29 degrees and a windchill of -14 outside. No snow, but it was cold very cold.

My brain constantly runs, it never sleeps. Only on weed, it stops it's like it's silent and I'm just living the moment, but other than that. Like always my brain never forgets anything, it's like I can't forget things my brain is like always going crazy it never calms down once. I can't do anything about it, no matter when I'm stressed calm or out of touch it's always moving.

I'm always suffering, and I just want to die to be put out of this misery. I get so scared of people feeling like they are all imposters and they are apart of a simulation to trick me to trust them just to improve myself so they don't hurt me. It's like my mom was never my mom, after waking up from my coma it happened like this, my psychosis took a whole new low and I literally lost my mind since then worse then it's ever had. It gives me nightmarish scenarios being put in a hospital being beaten and abused till I'm old and frail. I die looking out a small window from a hospital bed on tubes and have no one to see me or visit me because I don't have anyone at that point.

I truly fear that so much, that sometimes I want to run away now and hide from people, because I'm afraid they'll do this to me. I'm truly afraid of people really trying to hurt me. I'm really really scared of anyone. I'm so scared of being forced and tied down, it's happened to me before and I'm so scared of it again. I'm so scared of being in small spaces and being clausterphobic really easy, because I don't do being trapped in any way well. I'm experiencing it now, and having a major panic attack.

It's like everyone wants to push me in this box, I'm trying to work with what they say and get out, but it's like I'm not able to do it and it's feels unnattainable and it feels like people want to trap me in my biggest fears.

I can't type anymore this is unbearable now.