Questions for Mellors

Mellors

Just one more silly question....

What is the purpose of glow in the dark condoms?

" throws hands in air, above head level, and walks off discusted"

Hmmm....I don't know what to do with this thread.

It was never specified that this thread was to be serious or silly.....just questions. My first thought was to edit right away, however I suppose it might be necessary for members to express views regarding threads.

I guess since the thread is titled "Questions for Mellors" then we need to adhere to what Mellors is comfortable with.

So lets keep the questions serious....not sure what the definition of serious is. I'll leave the thread as is, and if there is further frustration, lets keep it to PM.

Thanks,
Rayna

Mellors,

If this thread angers you by all means ask for this thread to be deleted.

Zen

Zen this is not directed at you personally, so please don’t take it that way, but knowing me for so long you would expect this kind of response from me,

(end stage 1, apologist)

I would like to try and explain me current state of mind at this time, and what I am trying to avoid waking up to every day…………

How would you feel if, everyday when I log on here, and I look at what I posted the day before, to see if I have progressed in any way, shape or form, or not, I thank the DID for that, to find that No,

( enter stage 2, depression,),

I have not progressed, and that you are still exactly where you were the day before, and the day before that, ect, which causes me to take yet another step back from myself with the thinking that I may not be able to cope, yet one of my alters can,

( stage 3, anxiety),

maybe he should be the one in control?, not me?, how is that helping me?. Please do tell…………………

(stage 4, denial)

no one is asking proper questions of anybody lately, which you need to do to make yourself think, when you think, you heal, well I do anyway,

(stage 5, regret)

Those of you that remember me in the chat room days, I was able to “multitask” for a better word, I could quite easily have multiple conversations, both funny and serious running concurrently for hours, I answered questions asked about myself, and asked questions of them, i felt like that was helping, it was working, what I am saying is what happened to those days?

(Stage 6, pragmatic) ( http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pragmatic)

Today has I see it…………………..

Its the same questions, regurgitated, reworded, call them whatever you want, they all amount essentially to the same thing, same old crap everyday, when a serious question is posted by anybody nowadays on this site, I would say 8 out of 10 replies, if they even get that many replies, are hugs, no advice, no sharing, no nothing, nothing but distraction techniques to avoid answering a question that could help somebody, that’s just the way I see it, censor me, edit me, bar me, whatever

(Stage 7, hope)

for once I want to wake up in the morning, ok afternoon, and read something that I know I had to think seriously about, before answering, because then, even if I don’t remember the day, I know I can put it on the good days side of the equasion. (sp). And not in the lost forever, or regretful file……….

(Stage 8, acceptance)

Not quite there yet………………………..

rayne i dont want the thread to be deleted, not by any stretch of the imagination, i need the thread to remain so i can look back at my moods swings, feel free to lock it, but please dont delete it.

I don't see anything against guidelines, so unless you ask me to, it shall remain.

I do want to say though, that there are plenty of serious threads on the board.....but this hasn't been one of them. I think the intent of this thread was to get a man's perspective on questions we women truly wonder about.....and not just any man's opinion, but YOUR opinion.....that means that the women on here respect your opinion, or they wouldn't be asking these questions. It may seem silly to you, but I know I have often wondered how men feel about the same questions posed here.....so while you might think they're silly questions, the women are asking them for a reason, and if it wasn't going to help, the questions wouldn't be asked.

Just some food for thought on the matter. I hope it helps to be able to look back on your responses! I periodically look back at all my posts over the last 2 years, and its pretty interesting.

sending you hugs ((((((((((((( mellors ))))))))))) ...some of us need hugs.

no way i would look back at my posts...hah

I know that I've always appreciated your perspectives on things mellors... just thought I'd say that, even if I have no questions to ask you at the moment.

Understood Mellors

How are you snakes doing?

Hi Mellors

I have been intrigued with your responses here Mellors. I have a question, which I consider to be very serious indeed - and I would very much like to read your feelings on the matter.

I am a very emotional person, tending to react to hurt and anger with instant and often uncontrollable tears. I have been called a cry baby, an emo, a weakling - you name it. I have found (a generalization) that very often men don't quite know what to do with a crying female. (In my case, if hubby would just hold me ...) How do you feel about a woman crying as a response to her feelings? How do you deal with it? Do you feel angered and unsympathetic, or are you able to comfort? Do you feel women should try and control her tears? Ok - that was more than one question ....

(((((((((((((((mellors)))))))))))))))))

i wanted to give you a cuddle too

jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoox

I have found (a generalization) that very often men don't quite know what to do with a crying female.

Have you ever told the men beforehand what you expect of them when you do display an emotional outburst that involves tears?, different responses “expected of them” for different circumstances?, I doubt it, so how the hell are we going to guess the right response?

(In my case, if hubby would just hold me ...) …………..

So have you ever spoken to him about this? Told him this is what you want him to do?

How do you feel about a woman crying as a response to her feelings?

I know women are more emotional then men, so I accept the fact there are going to be times in my life, for some reason or other, at one time or another, I am going to have to deal with a teary eyed, emotional female and not have a clue has to which way to respond, I say this because I have been there, in this exact spot on more than one occasion, and after extensive “training” I have found that the best response is to stand there and do nothing, and wait for her to make the first move, If you want a hug, then hug me, if you want me to do something else then tell me what, if you do nothing and stand there ballin at me, then I really don’t know what to do, so I will stand back looking all embarrassed, not for me, for you, which will only further compound the reasons you started crying in the first place, which starts the entire circle again, only this time is not the same reasons you were crying over last time so the response is different again, damn!!

How do I deal with it? I remain single.

Do you feel angered and unsympathetic?

Only when I don’t know the full reason / s (subject to change) why you are crying at me in the first place, of course sometimes I feel angered, that’s threw frustration born by not knowing fully what’s going on, because you never say anything beforehand, then its BAM, couldn’t think of a better word sorry, and a whole shower of “excrement” is headed my way, how would you react if the rolls were reversed?

Or are you able to comfort?

If I know fully what is going on and understand the situation then yes I would say I am able to comfort, (that is also subject to change)

I also know when I am not wanted, loved or respected and that your taking your anger out on me has a man in the form of, well, what some would call “emotional blackmail” to try and illicit a response from the man, to your satisfaction, or not, by using your tears has some type of primordial weapon, to which we men have no defence,

who, when your tears stop do you think needs the most support?

The woman who has just gotten it all of her chest?,

Or, the man who now has to try and make sense of what has just been said, or done, react accordingly, to your satisfaction, and eventually after a smoke, (hic), stand up and be a man and not cry himself, in front of you?

So next time you get on your man for not reacting properly to an impossible situation for him, created by you, just remember you have that freedom to cry in public because society expects it, and to a large part has accepted it has female culture, just don’t be to surprised to see your man out on the street, on his ***, blind drunk, looking for a fight after a tearful argument,

you cry, we fight, same result, everyone can climb back into there own bubble feeling justified, cant we?

Am sorry I blew up at you zen, the questions are fun, but sometimes you want more, you know?

Hi zen, the snakes are doing fine, I have put them back in with each other so they don’t get lonely, I separate them to feed them still, but other than that they are fine together, they are both over 2 foot in length now with about an inch and a half girth at the middle, on Wednesday I start them on the next “food size” as 3 of the last size constitute 1 meal each at the moment, that’s expensive twice a week, I am spending more money per week to feed them than I am myself, I have a bulk order delivery scheduled for this week to offset some of the cost, it equates to about a 75 pence saving, per meal, per snake, so it is worth the initial reduction in cash flow over the long run, it just means I will have no freezer space for the next 6 months, another bonus is at least the fridge freezer is doing more than cooling beers this time,

I have a question for you zen,

If all men are dogs? ( a commonly used sentence, see Jerry Springer), Then why do you wimin like cute puppies so much?

Is it the thought that at puppy stage they are still subject to your training?, so therefore will do what ever YOU want, to please YOU?,

And paradoxically at the exact moment they stop, look around, urinate on the carpet and say screw that, is that when they become dogs? Please enlighten me?

Thank you for your response Mellors - I appreciate your thoughtful post and I am going to spend some more time studying it when the glass of wine is not so full.

I did sense a little bit of antagonism towards me in your post and I would like to assure you, that my questions to you were in no way disrespectful but rather borne out of a grudging respect at some of your rather curiously sensitive comments about women.

I asked you the questions, which you have truthfully answered .. so I guess defending myself is out of the question.

Sigh! I have been wanting to ask you this for days! Well, I really do appreciate your honesty and will most certainly be back to study your post in more detail!

Anytime Sabrina,

I was not being antagonistic towards you personally, believe me, I reread my post, and have seen I have gone threw the gears from, first person narration, all the way back to personal beliefs, forward to realism, finally landing on acceptance, which is back in no mans land, I didn’t class it has a question asked too me, more of a question asked of me, I hope my answer gives you food for thought and keep then commin.

Ah, well that is the very thing I was after ... food for thought ... and that is what your answer provided!

Thank you - I am sure I will have some more questions for you!

Is that “glass too full” statement meaning that you may leave some of whatever your drinking in the glass soon?, and take a step back and see whats left in the glass?, then decide your response, or you may have more drinks added to the glass before you respond?, or even for that matter the glass no matter how much you drink never reduces in volume kind of thing?,

the reason I ask is I want some kind of clue how to respond to you when you do stop drinking, whatever your drinking now, before you explode into tears at your husband, for whatever reason, and for you to be able to converse equally with him, without using your tears has a, be all, end all, defence,

I gotta tell you girl, it don’t always work, crying that is, so don’t push it…find other ways, tried talking?, if that don’t work, try something else, when you have run out of ideas, ask him if he has any ideas left, and work from that

Shakes bottle of bacardi and says chin, chin cheers and all that jazz

I gotta to say to you Mellors - that you touch a sore point here! The glass too full statement meant that I wanted to respond in the early hours of the morning - with a jug of coffee! I felt you deserved that much respect! And now the reason I say you have hit a sore point is that much of my histrionics have been under the influence .... and now I have already said too much! I knew there was a reason I was asking you these questions.... Oh, yes - I know crying doesn't work - I don't do it on purpose - it just kind of consumes me and takes over. I do talk. Dear Husband will show his burnt ears in testimony - I just find that emotion takes over ..... one thing I can say without a shadow of a doubt - I don't cry on purpose ....

Mellors - you have proved your sensitivity! I didn't once, but I really like you now!

doffs cap, fills pipe with "hic" tobacco, smiles, then goes about his way

Mellors

If all men are dogs? ( a commonly used sentence, see Jerry Springer), Then why do you wimin like cute puppies so much?

>IMO not all men are dogs. I am assuming you are using it as a metephor......so I would say that some men "act" like dogs.....for example: womynizers, adulters, .....list goes on. Some womyn like puppies for the same reason they like human babies they are cute, loveable, and give and recieve unconditonal love and support.

Is it the thought that at puppy stage they are still subject to your training?, so therefore will do what ever YOU want, to please YOU?,

>I have never tried to "train" a man....if they don't have their act together I move on asap!

And paradoxically at the exact moment they stop, look around, urinate on the carpet and say screw that, is that when they become dogs? Please enlighten me?

>IMO men become "dogs" when they "urinate on carpet" aka cheat on the womyn!

_________

Mellors please humour me .......... what is the purpose of glow in the dark condoms in your opinion?

I find this whole thread quite disgusting and think it should be deleted.

whys that pegasus? what discusts you so much for you to form the conclusion that this thread should be deleted?

pray do tell

Mellors!

The thread will not be deleted. Lets everyone remember to use our own protection tool of ignoring threads that bother us.

Thanks,
Rayna