[shakespeare47]

To have your penis in a woman while she is having an orgasm? Are the contractions strong enough to feel?

It must be a rare occurrence, but I suspect some have experienced it.

I've talked to my wife about it, and she knows I'd love to have the experience, but it hasn't happened yet.

[Webgoji]

Um ... well, according to my wife it's called "Riding the Wave". I only feel the contractions with certain positions, but it's kinda like a gentle squeezing pulse.

That said there are positions (like Cowgirl) where she can use her hips against you to stimulate her clit to orgasm. So it doesn't have to be rare at all. (Matter of fact, it's one of my favorite ways.)

[unaluna]

The ex-messrs hankster used to complain that i would shoot them across the room. Wimps

[shakespeare47]

@Webgoji You lucky guy. I guess some women are just more comfortable with this than others.

Originally Posted by Webgoji

Um ... well, according to my wife it's called "Riding the Wave". I only feel the contractions with certain positions, but it's kinda like a gentle squeezing pulse.

That said there are positions (like Cowgirl) where she can use her hips against you to stimulate her clit to orgasm. So it doesn't have to be rare at all. (Matter of fact, it's one of my favorite ways.)

Except that position doesn't work for everyone…it hurts my hips after a short while and I really don't understand how it's supposed to stimulate the clit enough for orgasm? I've tried it countless times and the most I got out of it was sore hips and a little stimulation of my g-spot (I also don't get how anyone can orgasm from that). But then, I guess other women orgasm at the drop of a hat, so what would I know?

What I'd like to know is why are men so obsessed with this? It doesn't help women orgasm if you pressure them into it by wanting them to orgasm in a certain way at a certain time.

[shakespeare47]

Well, if wanting my wife to orgasm at all is putting pressure on her, then I guess I'm guilty. I am disappointed in that I thought I was marrying someone who was interested enough in sex to want to orgasm.

In reality, she couldn't care less. Should I feel guilty for wanting to know what the experience (being with a woman who has an orgasm at all, in any position, under any circumstances) is like?

[unaluna]

It sounds like you married the wrong person. I keep thinking about my marriages and how spectacularly wrong they were.

But nevermind that. The fact that we differentiate from the same basic set of cells makes me think that orgasms feel pretty much the same for men and women. Only women have more nerve endings. But they are harder to reach. Good news, bad news.

[TheWell]

There are a lot of women who don't orgasm through intercourse. It needs to be oral or digital stimulation.

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by TheWell

There are a lot of women who don't orgasm through intercourse. It needs to be oral or digital stimulation.

Sure. And there are some women for whatever reason aren't interested. It appears I'm married to someone who isn't all that interested in even experiencing orgasms.

My frustration comes and goes. I'm in my late 40's, and my sexual desire is tapering off.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

Except that position doesn't work for everyone…it hurts my hips after a short while and I really don't understand how it's supposed to stimulate the clit enough for orgasm? I've tried it countless times and the most I got out of it was sore hips and a little stimulation of my g-spot (I also don't get how anyone can orgasm from that). But then, I guess other women orgasm at the drop of a hat, so what would I know?

What I'd like to know is why are men so obsessed with this? It doesn't help women orgasm if you pressure them into it by wanting them to orgasm in a certain way at a certain time.

Instead of moving up and down, she leans forward and moves her hips back and forth. And yeah, if she's been exercising or something it can make her hips pop or hurt so we stop that immediately if that happens. But the movement grinds her clit against my abdomen and that's where the stimulation occurs.

As far as the g-spot goes, that's where the clitoris dips close to the vaginal wall inside the vagina. For my wife, stimulation of the g-spot alone isn't enough however, it heightens the sensation for her if I use my fingers in a "come here" motion during oral sex. In that way, more of the clitoris is stimulated and it seems to increase the intensity and duration of her orgasms.

Regarding why it's a big deal to guys; I can only speak for myself, but I can guess that other guys think this way as well, but it's important to me that my wife really enjoys herself. We all have times that we're not going to reach orgasm for one reason or another, but it can be very frustrating we we don't reach orgasm repeatedly because our partner is being selfish or not focusing on us. And for me making love is about her, not me (current struggle aside). I understand that there will be times when she can't reach orgasm, but I love making her feel good so while I don't pressure her, I do want to be a part of helping her achieve that release.

[shakespeare47]

I think it is natural to want to give someone else pleasure. But, if there is no desire to have an orgasm to begin with, then I'm not sure if anything can be done

I suspect a combination of parental influence and lack of desire in my wife's case.

Edit: she has even verbalized that she thought "women don't do that" when it came to touching herself and wanting orgasms in the past. We've talked about it, and I think she's coming around. We bought a vibrator, and she claims to have had an orgasm with it, but I'm skeptical. That's cool if she did, but the way she talks (or doesn't talk) about it makes me wonder if she even knows what the experience is like.

I do understand that some women find the lack of control to be disturbing, and I wonder if that is an issue for her, as well. She does like to feel like she is in control.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by hankster

It sounds like you married the wrong person. I keep thinking about my marriages and how spectacularly wrong they were.

But nevermind that. The fact that we differentiate from the same basic set of cells makes me think that orgasms feel pretty much the same for men and women. Only women have more nerve endings. But they are harder to reach. Good news, bad news.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Sure. And there are some women for whatever reason aren't interested. It appears I'm married to someone who isn't all that interested in even experiencing orgasms.

My frustration comes and goes. I'm in my late 40's, and my sexual desire is tapering off.

I don't know that it's necessarily that you married the wrong person, but you guys certainly do seems to have a disconnect in the bedroom. Maybe some sex therapy with a couples' counselor might help?

And Hankster's right, women have about double the number of nerve ending of men.

[shakespeare47]

We had something of a breakthrough in that I've been letting her know that I'd like to be there during her orgasm and she was okay with that. (I let her know it wasn't really fair that she gets to see my "O face" all the time, but I've never really seen hers, lol).

A pretty cool experience.

[bixkf]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

We had something of a breakthrough in that I've been letting her know that I'd like to be there during her orgasm and she was okay with that. (I let her know it wasn't really fair that she gets to see my "O face" all the time, but I've never really seen hers, lol).

A pretty cool experience.

Sounds great! Congrats on the step forward.

Well, from having been with someone who is into tantric sex, it feels awesome. There is nothing like the feeling of having your partner shutter in orgasm while you are deep within and you can feel every pulse and contraction of her riding the wave.

[JLarissaDragon]

Many woman do not orgasm every time. We are all different. I find that I do not orgasm every time I have intercourse with my husband. It depends on the space I am in at the time. Yet I find sex very pleasurable regardless. The point is that for women it may not always be a requirement. We are all different in that regard. Love and communication are much more important for us, and it takes us more time to get excited. As a suggestion you might need to spend a lot more time in foreplay, before she is ready

[bixkf]

Originally Posted by JLarissaDragon

Many woman do not orgasm every time. We are all different. I find that I do not orgasm every time I have intercourse with my husband. It depends on the space I am in at the time. Yet I find sex very pleasurable regardless. The point is that for women it may not always be a requirement. We are all different in that regard. Love and communication are much more important for us, and it takes us more time to get excited. As a suggestion you might need to spend a lot more time in foreplay, before she is ready

I get what you are saying...I truly do, though it's not just women who don't orgasm every time. I've had lots of confused faces when I've explained to others that even as a guy (everyone assumes guys always cum) I don't always ejaculate and even if I do ejaculate, it might not come with an orgasm. Many moons ago when my wife and I were younger I could definitely feel my wife have an orgasm. Sometimes she would even play with my penis using just her vaginal muscles. Imagine that, she could make me cum simply by manipulating her muscles like a massage on my penis. From that point of view, it felt amazing and even a bit cool to have felt what her insides were doing.

However, as I started saying, now I have had to change my outlook to the same as yours...that being an orgasm is not a requirement of being sexually intimate. I'm now at a point with the loss of sensation in my penis that there are times when I have to ask my wife if my penis is actually inside her and if I still have an erection. Although it has always been my goal to ensure she is satisfied before I am, now it is the only way to go. When we have sex, it is all about her...there is no limit...if she wants one orgasm or ten, she gets them. Because for me, I have learned to get emotional pleasure from giving pleasure. I am able to finish intercourse without having had an orgasm, and still be happy because I had "fun".

You have the right idea that what is more important is love and communication, because it allows for emotional fulfillment even if you aren't sexually fulfilled.

[Big Mama]

Orgasm is not always that important to a woman, or at least not this woman. I just am not that interested in it. The times that things feel good and is pleasurable is nice. It is pleasant, not mind blowing or anything. It just happens to be that I am just not that interested in orgasm. If it happens great, if not, great. For me the ride there is half the fun. The finial destination is not so important.

Orgasm doesn't always happen easily in some cases either. Does your wife take anti depressants. That can be a real sex drive killer. Pressure to "O" also hinder things. It is like performance anxiety. Past history can change things as well. Or maybe it is just something that takes extra work. Toys are a good way to increase likelihood of orgasm, and often raise confidence levels enough to encourage things to happen with out toys or enough to spark interest levels and increase frequency of love making.

Hopefully something will help turn things around and give you both what you are looking for. Chances are if you are not satisfied neither is she.

[divine1966]

I don't think it's fair to say that if woman is interested in sex she should orgasm.

One has nothing to do with the other.

I am interested in sex yet never orgasmed during intercourse. I do orgasm during oral and hand stimulation by my current partner. Not every single time but I do.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[shakespeare47]

Cool! We did it. It took a while for us to be able to figure out the right position and everything, but I think I was too hasty in my judgment that my wife wasn't interested in, and/or didn't experience orgasms.

I'm accomplished my goal, I was penetrating her while she was having an orgasm. That is a very intimate feeling. We need to have a name for the men who have had this experience.

And she is having orgasms in my presence with some frequency.

It's kinda cool in that here I am in my late 40's, having new sexual experiences with my wife.

This is what I feel like today. (and I told her. we both love Big Bang, and she got a chuckle out of the reference).

I'm very happy that I said something to her about her orgasms!

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Cool! We did it. It took a while for us to be able to figure out the right position and everything, but I think I was too hasty in my judgment that my wife wasn't interested in, and/or didn't experience orgasms.

I'm accomplished my goal, I was penetrating her while she was having an orgasm. That is a very intimate feeling. We need to have a name for the men who have had this experience.

And she is having orgasms in my presence with some frequency.

It's kinda cool in that here I am in my late 40's, having new sexual experiences with my wife.

This is what I feel like today. (and I told her. we both love Big Bang, and she got a chuckle out of the reference).

I'm very happy that I said something to her about her orgasms!

Time for a new goal?

[shakespeare47]

I'm open to suggestions.