I am tired of figuring it out

and i dont want to fall in love with someone to be tricked into having children...
blergh

You could be a fantastic mom
or i could be a lazy weed smoking cam *****
idk
it could go either way right now

Your way would disappoint me quite a bit
oh really?
i have thought about camwhoring...
you know that right?

Nope
i have thought about it
i have no idea what draws me to it i am not a very sexual being'

I just think it says a lot about what you think of yourself and of sex
i am very sensual person though
what do you mean what i think of sex?

What a cam***** thinks of sex
what do they think of sex?

That it's something to be used and broadcasted to the world for a buck
hmm. yes thats how i see it
'i mean thats how every guy before that saw it and therefore saw me
i guess theres some freedom in being broadcasted to the world
something creative, artistic about it
anyway, i just wanna say that i prefer lesbian porn there isn't all that disgusting slime and it remains clena
clean*

Artistic and creative? ****ing yourself with a dragon dildo while thousands of sweaty, unwashed neckbeard wizards beat off to the sight of your body and not much else? Idk
okay
will it would be why i am so drawn to cam*****s

I get that you can add your own personality to it and everything but at the end of the day a majority of your audience is there for the same reason a guy goes to a strip club or a hooker
they think of sex the same way i do

I like to think most women are better than that
yeah i am also there for there quirky laughs
inbetween kisse
they call themselves "models"

What are they modeling though?
i think its a nice way of saying cam*****
did i ever tell you about the loser on fb trying to pay me for sex and then abusing me when i said no?

I think ***** is a bit over the top but yea. And yea you did
I think you like the idea of came hiring because you like the idea of feeling sexy
and i started think of sex that why went i sent my first nude

And doing it in a way that doesn't risk much of anything
yes sexy and recognized in a way i guess
i only think i have a value based on how sexually attractive guys think i am

So when you wanna "cam*****", do it for guys you trust.
Because that's how sex is supposed to be for a normal healthy minded person
Yea that's another symptom of how unhealthy your mind is in some ways
I don't have to explain to you that it causes trouble
i think it is kind of like guaranting that the guys i sent nudes and said other people saw it is like a kind of self vengence to myself and then putting my nudes on their
i dont know sex makes me twisted that is why i tend to avoid the subject
i cant think of it without being crazy

That's because there are so many contradictions in that pretty little head of yours
while i have controlled it i havent removed its existence imprinted into my mind

You need to keep sorting through them
so i wanna be a cam***** but i dont want other guys to see my nudes if i send it to a guy
honestly wtf brain

Control
its like i am horny but not

You hold the power as the cam*****
The guy holds it when he spreads them
in all that there is nothing on here of me
but then again the internet is a very big place
i guess that is why raped girls become sluts to get back the control that was taken away from them

Exactly
Well that's a reason
see even "control" can be a bad reason

It's not a bad reason
it all depends on what meaning you give to it

They just go about it the wrong way
yes guys do it all the time i dont know why they would need that kind of control

Guys don't think nearly that hard about it
You're giving them too much credit
true
that because their **** is the only thing that matters

No
and jibson i was thinking of creating a new facebook

Because you are
Girls in general
We can't help ourselves. We see things in you that you probably never will and we only want someone else to see it too
however it is too much effortb readding myself to groups and liking pages all over again
i could just unfriend everyone but then that is too much effort and i feel like i am offending others
see i over think every decision]

Do it anyway
it is because i am not used to making my own decisions
thats why everything is so freaking hard

Fake it til you make it
**** me with a dragons dildo

Gladly
do you think that i am a cam***** deep down?
or i am just making myself feel that way based on how i have experienced sex in the past?

I think you might have some of the prerequisites but no
I think the only reason you get so upset about these things is because they don't live up to your expectations
And you have those expectations for a very good reason
yeah now that sounds complicated
its just i get so confused when a guy gets turned on by me

It's not. I'm just saying I think you'd be a good cam***** for the same reasons all cam*****s are. They just want to feel connected with someone in an intimate way
it shouldn't be so confusing this is just insanity

Probably because it's supposed to be a good thing when a guys attracted to you
Chat conversation end

So what would your life be like if you had absolutely NO internet connection? NONE!
Anything & everything you put on the Internet will stay there.

Can you live a true, authentic life off screen. Who are you in 3D?

I think you need to disconnect.

yeah i guess it maybe time since i just seem to be stressed out constantly.

Yes...please stop posting topics like this. You didn't even put a trigger warning. Do you realize how many people can get triggered by your desperate need for attention? Think about others before you post.

Is there a point to this twisted, triggering post?


Are you asking something or saying something?


I'm confused and disturbed, very rare combo for me.


PS I second LL, consider the rest of the community please.

its a conversation between me and my friend and i am sorry that i triggered you that was not my intention

Again, think about the other members here who have truly been victimized and not just your boo hooing because maybe you're horny, maybe you just like attention. Your situation is NOTHING like the horrors of those who have had no choice.

My question stands, what was your intention exactly?


It's very unclear, unless i am to assume LL is right and its simply for attention.

it wasn't for intention it was just badly worded.

I didn't realize that it would come across as a poly of attention and maybe I should have thought before I have posted I don't see too. I just wanted to know why I can't distinguish between prostitution and loving relationships I feel like it is all the same thing to me.

Like I said just badly wordly I can't seem to describe sexual disturbia without appearing disturbed and deranged maybe I do indeed need help.

That is absolutely nothing like what you just said. Your OT is about whether or not you should be a cam*****.

because i felt like that simply because i existed that was how i am and what i was meant to be. I seem to believe that i am a sexual object with no feelings and that i think if i am in relationships i am being a ***** for free so why not get paid? I know it sounds ****ed up. I know I feel sad and ashamed that I mentioned it

I just have distorted feelings on what sex is and meant to be.

I just feel like if I was in a relationship they were only with me and buying me things because I am giving them sexual things I believe it could never be that they genuinely loved me.

How about you give sex a 2 yr moratorium.
How about learning to love yourself for 2 yrs. then see where you are before you bring another person into a relationship.

You need a relationship with yourself first. Get to know that person intimately.
You seem very focused on sex & I think you need to step back & look at the bigger picture of life.

You usually need to actually experience a loving relationship before you can recognize it.


Maybe that's half of your equation solved.


For the other half,I'm with Patagonia, sort yourself out before you bring someone else into this chaos and confusion. You'll save yourself and any potential partner alot of grief.

Anyone who makes you feel like a sexual object with no feelings doesn't deserve the time of day from you. You are a person, not a wind-up doll for their amusement. A good partner should be very concerned with your feelings.

Genuine love (the intimate relationship kind) imo involves intellectual, emotional and physical intimacy, in specific ways that work well for both people. It does not demand that you jump through complex hoops to get attention and understanding. It is a shared set of experiences that feels right for both people, doesn't involve guessing games or head games, and certainly shouldn't make either person feel miserable or uncomfortable all the time. Sometimes it can feel challenging for anyone, but if that's a constant in a relationship there's something wrong.

Forget taking at absolute face value what anyone else says you ought to want or how you should feel. Society gives everyone mixed messages. People can advise, they can share stories, offer wisdom gained through experience, all that is good. But really ... what do YOU want? We all have to figure out what we really want before we can get it. After that, we have to voice our needs and establish boundaries.

I don't think you're looking for attention by posting these thoughts you're having. I think you're feeling conflicted, confused, fed up, and trying to come to terms with it all. It's good to see people opening up and asking serious questions. Thank you.

Life offline is overrated. I know I would rather die than to back to that kind of limitation, ignorance and isolation. No one needs to disconnect.

To the OP...you sound awfully confused, distressed. Though we really can't tell what's bothering you since you went kind of stream-of-consciousness. What is it you're trying to figure out? How to relate to and view sex?

"[QUOTE=ScientiaOmnisEst;5081713]Life offline is overrated. I know I would rather die than to back to that kind of limitation, ignorance and isolation. No one needs to disconnect.[QUOTE]"

Sorry but the world did revolve before the invention of the Internet!
Imagine.....
People used to interact & talk to each other. It's a valuable trait to have. Comes in quite handy in.....life.

Amen!


I love how people like to pretend that cyberspace has always existed.


Life offline is not overrated, if your quality of life sucks it may be time to evaluate and address why staring into a screen is better than actual human contact.


OP, I think staying single for a good while, spending it trying to untangle your thoughts, feelings and values regarding sexual activities would be doing yourself a huge favour.

.that way when you do decide to indulge, you know where you stand and can implement boundaries and expectations.


It will also help you in choosing partners.