[joshuas-mommy]

I have been sexually abused by my father and another 40 year old man. I began noticing how much I disliked sex with my first long term relationship. I thought my boyfriend was urinating in my vagina, but then I realized that I pee myself. I don't like having sex and this has been interfering with my relationships. I don't like people kissing me or licking me on my body. I just want the sex to end as soon as possible. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

[BrazenApogee]

Yes. I hate sex. I stopped trying to have it years ago. It's supposed to be nice I gather, but I've always found it painful and humiliating. I still have desire, but I can't bring myself to try to do it anymore.

[snarkydaddy]

I was abused too.
And I very much hated sex, hated being close to some one. Hated being touched or hugged...Had sex for all the wrong reason when I did. It just freaked me out in really bad ways. The healthy benefits of sex in a monotonous relationship was stolen from me. And it affected me in other inter personal ways having nothing to do with sex but intimacy. I was in sexless marriage for years... How stupid was I thinking that was ok?

All I can say is that all changed when I met the right person. And it took a while and their patience.
I feel safe and I trust them. For me it is the ability bond that was stolen from me.
Thank God I met this person

I hope with a lot of work in therapy and or the right person you are able to heal. I am still working on it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Sex is disgusting, yet some twisted part of me wants to try it.

[1961Survivor]

I was actually married to someone who didn't enjoy it at all. I didn't understand it then, until she remarried and they had the same problems we did. She just didn't like it, I believe it's called "Asexual". I can understand why today, but didn't get it back then.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by 1961Survivor

I was actually married to someone who didn't enjoy it at all. I didn't understand it then, until she remarried and they had the same problems we did. She just didn't like it, I believe it's called "Asexual". I can understand why today, but didn't get it back then.

Asexual means that you impregnate yourself and have kids without another person.

[BrazenApogee]

Asexual is someone without sexual feelings.

[LovelyChantel]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

I have been sexually abused by my father and another 40 year old man. I began noticing how much I disliked sex with my first long term relationship. I thought my boyfriend was urinating in my vagina, but then I realized that I pee myself. I don't like having sex and this has been interfering with my relationships. I don't like people kissing me or licking me on my body. I just want the sex to end as soon as possible. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

I can relate a lot to this. Although I've gotten a lot better to where I really love and enjoy sex now. Sometimes though I just really don't like it. But it's gotten better. It's helped that I have a partner who listens to me when I say "no" or "stop". Even though I don't usually say "no" when I want to. It helps knowing he will listen if and when I decide to say "no". It takes a lot of communication. There are things that still bother me but I'm working on them. You are not alone. It also seemed to change for me when I met the right person. Also lots of therapy. Without therapy idk where I would be.

[joshuas-mommy]

Originally Posted by LovelyChantel

I can relate a lot to this. Although I've gotten a lot better to where I really love and enjoy sex now. Sometimes though I just really don't like it. But it's gotten better. It's helped that I have a partner who listens to me when I say "no" or "stop". Even though I don't usually say "no" when I want to. It helps knowing he will listen if and when I decide to say "no". It takes a lot of communication. There are things that still bother me but I'm working on them. You are not alone. It also seemed to change for me when I met the right person. Also lots of therapy. Without therapy idk where I would be.

Well, I am not permitted to have therapy.

[HollowRhythms]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

Asexual means that you impregnate yourself and have kids without another person.

>< no it is not......

Asexual reproduction is a type of reproduction by which offspring arise from a single organism, and inherit the genes of that parent only; it does not involve the fusion of gametes and almost never changes the number of chromosomes. Asexual reproduction is the primary form of reproduction for single-celled organism as the archaea, bacteria, and protists. Many plants and fungi reproduce asexually as well.

that might be what you're thinking of.... people can't just multiply by themselves.....

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.[1][2][3] It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality.

Hey there, you dont have to be Asexual to have sex repulsion. You can still have sexual attraction and sexual feelings but find that the act itself or the thought of that act repulses you. You might want to look up Allosexual sex repulsion. Allosexual is a term given for anyone who feels sexual attraction so heterosexual, pansexual, homosexual, bisexual etc. Basically allosexual is anyone who is not Asexual.

Asexual Science | re: sex-repulsion in allosexual individuals

Sex repulsed allosexual? - Questions about Asexuality - Asexual Visibility and Education Network

Asexual people simply do not have the sexual attraction, but they may have sex for other reasons such as reproduction with the partner, satisfying their partner etc. Asexual does not mean you cant ever have sex or dont want to, its simply you dont feel the "I want to have sex with that person" feeling.

[Big Mama]

I can relate with the OP and many of you. I was sexually abused as a small child, and raped as a teenager by an older guy. I hate sex. I don't like it at all. I don;t want to be kissed, the thought of it repulses me. I don't like to be touched or hugged. Do not lick me (reminds me of a dog) do not kiss me, and do nto try to have sex with me and we will get along fine. Not many men will go for that though.

I am married and have been for 22 years. I do have sex. Most of the time I do it only to meet my H's needs. I often cry during sex, nto becasue it hurts or it is unpleasant, it is something that just comes over me. If I don'[t cry during sex, I cry afterwards. It is very awkward. Sometimes it makes me want to throw up. Just that it is gross. When I do have sex with my H, I keep my short on and my socks on. Anything to minimize physical contact.

This thread is about you and not me though, I jsut want you to know that you are not alone in how you feel and that I can completely relate.

I have been grossed out by sex for most of my life. I used to hate it early on, but that faded with time. I don't know why I hated it. Maybe I saw it like drugs or alcohol, which change some people into greedy animals, since I saw first hand what those things did to people. There were times I was interested in it, but my general stance was disinterest. I'm not a sexual person with any strong sex drives. I can't understand ever wanting to have sex with a stranger or someone you don't know well yet.

However, sometime after I fell in love my boyfriend, I was completely fine with having sex with him. For me, the experience is a way for me to bond with him, and not too much about sexuality. I think I can only feel this way because my boyfriend feels this way. We aren't people who have all sorts of different kinds of sex. It isn't about sexual gratification, but love. I could never stand having sex for sexual gratification. I couldn't let someone be so physically close to me unless I really trusted them.

[martinerous]

Yeah, I currently also have conflicting sexual feelings - on one hand, I like girls in romantic and friendly way, but a thought of sexual contact makes me feel like I might hurt them or something like that. And I have really narrow same sex attraction to specific looks of people with whom I would not want long lasting relationships because of various "incompatibilities" and also painful emotions and memories which always overwhelm me when thinking about sex with them.

So, these things get really complicated sometimes. Sometimes psychotherapy or the right person might help.

[Douglas MacNeill]

Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy

Well, I am not permitted to have therapy.

Not permitted to have therapy?
By whom? For what reason? I mean, it's one thing if you have
to fly in from some remote region to attend psychotherapy, but
I would rather accept shunning than go without therapy if the
prohibition is on religious grounds (in other words: to H*ll with
them if they can't live with it!)

[jjohnsonhope]

Hi
I can perfectly relate, I have not have sex in 17 years and I don't miss it at all. I am married and we do lay and hold each other but my wife have problems too so she don't want to have sex either so we are a perfect couple living happily together without any sex. It is so much easier without any sexual feelings. No pressure