What do men on the forum think of wearing condoms? Do they feel that it's not the same as 'naked' sex (not wearing one) and do they prefer the feeling they get from being 'naked'? I only ask as I am half seeing someone just now who won't wear one because he says it feels weird when he comes.

I'm not having sex with him until I'm back on the Pill, if at all, by the way. I don't want to take any risks. Just wondered what other men thought of using or not using condoms.

Thanks.

Smart move, not having sex without a condom. I read another thread of yours and can certainly empathize with your situation. I think if your partner was the one who might get pregnant from unprotected sex, he'd probably wear the condom without complaint. But, alas, he doesn't have to deal with that nonsense. Frankly, it seems like he is being selfish.

I'm not a man, but I can tell you that my boyfriend wears a condom without any complaining. It's just the smart and safe thing to do, and according to him the sex still feels really good.

According to him it's not the same if he can't come inside me without a condom. I don't think wearing a condom is too much to ask, given what could happen if he didn't. It's just being safe in my opinion, and I think you're right, if he was the one who could get pregnant he would be more careful. It's interesting that your boyfriend has no problem with wearing one, I've heard men say it's not the same but most would wear one if their partner asked. He's been pressuring me to go back on the Pill before my period, which made me ill before. However I won't drone on about it here as I have another thread on it, this one is about condom wearing preferences.

Thank you for your reply.

[YOLO Lady]

I'm a female and can't answer for the guys but I'd suggest that your BF put some lube INSIDE of the condom which will make it feel much better for him!

[Apokolips]

Better safe then pregnant I always say. If he won't wear a condom you should find someone who will.

Originally Posted by YOLO Lady

I'm a female and can't answer for the guys but I'd suggest that your BF put some lube INSIDE of the condom which will make it feel much better for him!

I've never heard that before, thanks. I'll see what he says.

Originally Posted by Apokolips

Better safe then pregnant I always say. If he won't wear a condom you should find someone who will.

I sometimes feel it isn't worth it. I came off the Pill because I didn't think it was and he got back in touch. He was annoyed I came off but it's just sex for him and I'm not comfortable with it. The fact he's willing to risk me getting pregnant or being ill from taking the Pill before my period suggests he doesn't care at all. I'm probably better off alone. I had sworn off men last month and was thinking of getting a dog. I might have to move soon so that can't happen. I suppose I get lonely. I just have to find more social activities to do and then I probably wouldn't get into a casual relationship like this. He was annoyed at me for not letting him come inside me without a condom so he might not be back in touch anyway.

[skeeball]

I can say sex with a condom is not as pleasurable. It dulls the sensation considerably. Also ejaculating with one on is uncomfortable. There's really nowhere for it to go and feels backed up. It kinda feels like when you stop yourself peeing mid pee but worse.

[Apokolips]

He does not care. That much is obvious. He does not want to use protection with you which means he will not use protection with others. This increases your risk of not only pregnancy but stds as well. Take it from someone who has cervical cancer caused by hpv. It's not worth you happiness, your health, or your life, and neither is he.

I don't think he's sleeping around, he has social anxiety so he doesn't go out and he mentioned to me that he wouldn't mind me working next to him at his job, so I'm sure there's no one else, he does work long hours so he has no time anyway. He says that's why he can't commit but I feel like if he was interested he would have been round more anyway as when he was pursuing me he was much more in contact with me on the phone and visited more regularly. When men are intimate with me they seem to lose interest, it's not like I've ever slept around and am not that experienced for a 41 year old. I have always had issues around sex and I think he can see I'm not enjoying it as much as him. Maybe that puts him off but I've told him about my sexual problems and not to take it personally. Either way I feel wearing a condom isn't that much to ask but I wonder if this is a common problem for men or whether he's just being fussy. Surely protected sex is better than no sex sensation wise?

I certainly don't want to end up with an STD or cancer so even if there were other tips for better sex from a male perspective while wearing a condom it would be helpful. But it does feel to me like it isn't worth it a lot of the time.

Having said all that he is on holiday so he could be up to anything. I hope not but would rather he was honest, if he is sleeping with anyone else he certainly won't be sleeping with me if I know about it.

[Erebos]

I would say the majority of men I have dated have said they preffer it without, but since he is still maintaining an erection and managing to Cum, I suggest it's not 'THAT ' much of an issue.
If it gets to a point where it's making him unable to perform then it's a bit of a diffrent issue, but safety first in all things. Hope you work it out.

[Virneto]

I'm a man..
I prefer no condom sex, first ... or Condom sex if (no condom) isn't possible...

meaning.. I prefer no condom whenever that's possible and acceptable by my partners.. otherwise I use condom.

Generally speaking, condom breaks the pace and environment when I have to (stop and) put it on.. And it also feels different when I'm coming... I prefer, from far, not using one...
But if I must, I do use condom.... I'm far from saying "I won't have sex I have to use a condom"..

Originally Posted by skeeball

I can say sex with a condom is not as pleasurable. It dulls the sensation considerably. Also ejaculating with one on is uncomfortable. There's really nowhere for it to go and feels backed up. It kinda feels like when you stop yourself peeing mid pee but worse.

He doesn't like the feeling of ejaculating with one on. Is there anything that could help? I can imagine it feels a bit strange. Maybe it takes a bit of getting used to.

[Apokolips]

He can suck it up and not put you at risk. If he refuses to use a condom, you refuse sex. How many more stds and unwanted pregnancies do we have to hear about before people actually start protecting themselves?

I'm not going to have unprotected sex, and if he won't wear a condom we won't be having sex. I'm just wondering if anything would help as far as comfort goes at ejaculation. Really he needs to be more considerate. I think he thinks I owe him after coming off the Pill, but if he had showed more interest and been less hurtful towards me in the past then I probably would have stayed on it. He seemed to have planned to see me when he was on holiday this week but with me coming off the Pill I have ruined it. I don't know if he'll get in touch again or not. He might find someone who will sleep with him without a condom and that will be it. I don't want to end up pregnant or with an STD, so I won't get too upset. He hasn't been very concerned for my health and that is not a good sign.

I know I'm better off alone, I just don't like being alone for a long time. I need to do other things and not think about it.

[fairydustgirl]

I think most condoms come with a reservoir tip, in which case, yes there is someplace for the semen to go. it's not all stuck up against him. I know some men complain but that is both selfish and stupid of them since women are not the only ones at risk for std's. I was unable to take hormonal birth control, my ex and I used condoms basically from 1982 until 1992 when my last child was born and I had my tubes tied. never lost one, never broke one, and my kids arrived according to plan. they do work. oh and a plus for me, I didn't have that 'squishy' feeling afterwards lol

[kkrrhh]

If a guy refuses to wear a condom, run. Trying to ask a few times is one thing, but if after telling him no he's still not respecting it and trying to talk you into it or make you feel bad, he's honestly not worth it.
If he's that whiny, there's always pulling out and whipping the condom off at the last second, obviously.

[Freerangecat]

Condoms are ok when the relationship is first starting but sex is definitely better for both without it. I've never gotten anyone pregnant, since I've always pulled out..

That's risky, freerangecat. He does leak before he comes so we have to be careful and pulling out is not great. Thank you for your perspective.

STD is a much bigger concern than pregnancy here. Most STD can be detected after some window period. So, if he claims that he is clean now, and the relationship is new as I understand from your post, then it doesn't really mean he is clean 100%, especially if he was sexually active just before your relationship has started.

I don't think he's been with anybody else for a while. He works long hours. He makes a lot of time for family and looks after his gran. I don't really fit into his plans until he has a bit of free time but he's also often tired too after working all day. He tells me he gets offers but he's not interested. But he tells me who he likes too. It's not just me he is into, I'm just the only one giving him anything. Given that he's that honest I don't think he's just been with or is with anyone else. I did say at first that if he ever did sleep with anyone else we would have to use condoms but now I'd rather be on my own than with someone sleeping around. I don't think he has the time, to be honest, but.. that doesn't mean he hasn't the inclination. I don't think he'll ever commit to a full relationship.. That's what I would have preferred.

[ImmerAllein]

You may find this a bit strange, but ...

I'm a guy, and quite a few of the women I have had sex with, begged me NOT to use a condom, because they wanted it raw. Most of the time, I insisted on using condoms. There was one person I chose to trust because she showed me that she was on the pill.

In hindsight, that was stupid of me. Now, I would only do that with someone I'm committed to and who I trust with both the pill and with not having STDs.

I'm equally afraid of both pregnancy and STDs.

Yes, I've decided to just forget about this guy, he can't be bothered texting me back. Or letting me know if he's coming round. Clearly he just can't be arsed so I don't see why I should be. That's the last straw. I'm gonna stay on the Plll for a bit as I've mucked about with my body by going on and off it quickly. I've got no intention of meeting anyone though or forming a relationship. Not that I can ever get anyone to agree to that anyway. Clearly I'm not worth it and I suppose I've asked for that by sleeping with guys who couldn't give a damn. I just have to think of myself from now on. Some self respect would be nice. I'm a bit old for finding it now.

[Phreak]

I'd never expect to have sex with a woman without a condom. If he won't use a condom, then I'd consider your relationship and how much it's worth to him

Yeah, I've had enough of him anyway. Thanks, everyone for all the advice.