[Ubuntu1]

I’m a 25 year old male that has recently discovered that he has a fetish. Ever since puberty I have been extremely turned on by girls that wore thongs( underwear) . Like on a scale of 1 to 10 I might find a girl attractive but if she wore thongs too then it would make the attraction a 10. I never really thought much about it until recently and I have become greatly concerned about this. I have been reading online about how fetishes are a type of mental disorder that needs treatment and it has been giving me a lot of anxiety . I have almost been trying to convince myself lately that I don’t like my fetish and have been trying to bury my feelings. I can “get off” to other things besides my fetish now if I try but it still makes me feel like all these years I’ve had a terrible mental illness. What do I do now I feel like some sort of freak. Should I try to take libido reducing medication so that I don’t get turned on by my fetish?
Also it says on the Wikipedia article about paraphilias that fetishism is a subset of paraphilia. Well paraphilias include everything from bdsm to even bestiality. It gives me a lot of anxiety to even be considered in the same class as something like bestiality in terms of them both being a “paraphilia” . it sickens me and I feel gross. I almost feel like I want to die cause I wasn’t born normally

[Skeezyks]

Hello Ubuntu1: You know... sometimes I think we'd all be a lot better off if having mental health related information on the internet were banned! (Perhaps I'll write a letter to President Trump.) I suspect more harm is done to people seeking mental health information over the internet than actually occurs as a result of whatever problem it is the person has to begin with.

I don't know about all of this paraphilia stuff, bdsm & bestiality. But I do believe lots of people have fetishes of one sort or another. Over the time I have been here on PC... (& this is my 2nd time here) I've read & replied to quite a few fetish-related posts, as well as the replies the posters have received. One conclusion I have drawn from this is that it can be extremely difficult to "break" or "cure" a fetish. The consensus of opinion seems to be that what is important is, first of all, not to feel guilty or anxious about having one. It's just one of those things that happens sometimes... no big deal. And second it is important to indulge one's fetish safely (& legally.)

Now having written that, I would also question whether what you describe even qualifies as a fetish. Personally, I can't envision any 25 year old heterosexual man who would not be turned on by the idea of a girl wearing a thong. I suppose there are some young men who would not. But I'd have to believe they are in the minority! Most men are simply driven by nature to seek sex. It's how the species is propagated. Plus, sexuality is everywhere in our culture. One can hardly go anywhere, see anything, hear anything, or do anything but what one is inundated with sexual suggestions.

So maybe, rather than having a fetish, you're simply a horny young guy who gets turned on by the thought of girls in thongs. There is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of, embarrassed about, anxious over, or anything else. Please try not to be so hard on yourself! You are most definitely not a freak! But if you find you simply cannot get past this on your own, then seek the services of a mental health therapist who has experience working with sexuality-related issues with whom you can explore the guilt & anxiety you are experiencing. It is this guilt & anxiety that is the troublesome thing here, not your attraction to girls wearing thongs.

[Ocean Swimmer]

It's ok. You are ok. Don't stress over it. You are normal.

[Virneto]

Hey @Ubuntu1,

I really think you need to keep reading on the internet, but improve your sources.
We all have needs, impulses and moral standards..
We all look to balance them all.
There's no bad thing in your fetish nor should you be feeling like that.
Also... I advise you to not mess with your Libido.

Cheers to you!

[Patagonia]

Wikipedia is not an authority on much of anything. In fact I'm pretty sure you can add your own info to Wikipedia, so look for a better place to get your information.
I agree with other posters that liking female underwear is not really a fetish & not worth getting anxious over.
FETISHES ARE NOT ILLNESSES.

[campervanman]

Hi Ubuntu1.

I am 54yrs old and I too have the same fetish with woman`s underwear (see-through Nylon only) This started from the age of 6yrs old when my mum was killed in a car crash and also I was sexually assaulted by my aunt when she took over as my surrogate mother! I too am ashamed of what I have to depend on to get my `Sweet and Sour` kick`s! `Sweet`(Comfort) cause it give`s me a release of my never ending demon`s and `Sour` as afterword's I am so ashamed of what I did, this then make`s me more anxious and depressed! `BUT` I am proud to say that I am fighting back now with this! As from the second wk in September I destroyed what woman`s underwear I had by burning them in a bin in my back yard!( A Symbolic gesture) And I have not bought or stolen any since! `Don`t` get me wrong I still think and struggle with this when I am anxious `But` I say to myself that this is hurting me more than it is helping me! (This is known as a `BLOCKER`) Whether I can keep this up is another matter! I will just have to stay focussed and keep strong!

As people on this forum have said too me also `It is quite normal to have a fetish` Just as long as it stay`s in your bedroom!!!!!!............Take care friend.

[Ubuntu1]

So there is no way to remove ? Truth be had it doesn't even really turn me on anymore because I feel anxious now instead of aroused because it's been at the forefront of my mind for like 5 years.

[LifeInProgress]

Other than your anxiety about being aroused by thong underwear is this causing any problems in your life?

There is nothing wrong with finding thong underwear particularly arousing. Some men are turned on by large breasts, or small breasts, or stockings, or lots of other things. It is quite normal to have certain particular "turn-ons".

If it is causing you distress I would urge you to discuss it with a therapist you trust and feel comfortable with. But it sounds well within the range of "normal" sexual behavior and expression to me.

[Skeezyks]

Originally Posted by Ubuntu1

So there is no way to remove ? Truth be had it doesn't even really turn me on anymore because I feel anxious now instead of aroused because it's been at the forefront of my mind for like 5 years.

Well... it's difficult for me to answer this, Ubantu1, although I'd like to. So I will simply share my experiences with you in the hope that some part of it might in some way be helpful with the caution that I'm now an older person. So my experiences may not really be relevant to you.

To begin with, I will tell you that I have been transgender (MtF) all of my life although I never did anything about it. (It's complicated & I'll spare you the details.) Anyway, going along with that I've had a number of what I guess I would consider fetish-like tendencies, or perhaps compulsions, my entire life. I say "I guess" because none of this has ever been diagnosed. It's just all what I know about myself & my history.

But the point here is that, as I have aged, most of this has gradually gone by the wayside. It's not that it's not all still there. If I scratch the surface, so to speak, I can still find it. But it's no longer the driving force it used to be. Part of that relates to changes in my living situation & changes I have consciously made in order to avoid triggering my "compulsions". But part of it too I presume is the aging process as well. And also playing a part in my own "evolution", so to speak, is the fact that I have committed myself to the pursuit of Buddhist practices of self-healing. (I'm no longer on psych med's, nor do I see a therapist. Neither has ever been of much benefit to me. But I have a history of suicide attempts that I cannot ignore either.)

So I guess the point here is that, if my situation is of any relevance, I would say yes perhaps it is possible to at least significantly reduce the impact of one's fetishes, or compulsions, if not to get rid of them entirely since it seems to have happened for me. However there is no clear pathway you can follow that I know of. Therapy may help if you can find a therapist who is skilled in working with individuals who have fetishes (although I don't really know because I don't see one.) Taking a look at how you live your life day-in & day-out may help... seeing if there are triggers you can eliminate or change. Finding something to commit to that is of sufficient interest to you that it takes your mind off of the object of your fetish may help. And just the passage of time may help as well. I think you simply have to find your own formula for success.

I wish there were a tried-&-true way to rid oneself of a fetish... just do A, B & C & all will be well. But if there is, I'm not aware of it. Still, at least from my perspective, there is hope that changes can occur. I send hugs your way with the hope that you might find it to be so as well.

[Ubuntu1]

Skeezyks thank you for your response. When you say "compulsions" though that spikes me a lot (in terms of my OCD) because it's almost like you have no control over it.

[Skeezyks]

Originally Posted by Ubuntu1

Skeezyks thank you for your response. When you say "compulsions" though that spikes me a lot (in terms of my OCD) because it's almost like you have no control over it.

Yes, that's true. For many years, decades really, I would have to say I had no control... or perhaps it's more accurate to say I didn't really even want any control... I'm not even sure. I do know for many years I really didn't try to exercise any control I simply went with it... for whatever reason.

I once read the book Lost in the Mirror. It's about Borderline Personality Disorder. And based on what I read there, I thought it was possible I might have been able to be diagnosed as having BPD when I was younger. (Presumably no longer.) One of the characteristics of BPD, as I understand it, can be confusion related to gender identity... which I definitely have had.

I've been told, & I've also read, that BPD tends to burn itself out as one ages. So perhaps that's what happened with me. And perhaps that's also why my various "compulsions" (as I term them) have also sort-of dissipated over time. I don't know. It's all very confusing to me & I really don't understand any of it... which is why all I can do is to share my experiences & hope that somewhere within it all people who read it can find some nugget of insight that is of value.

[Ubuntu1]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Yes, that's true. For many years, decades really, I would have to say I had no control... or perhaps it's more accurate to say I didn't really even want any control... I'm not even sure. I do know for many years I really didn't try to exercise any control I simply went with it... for whatever reason.

I once read the book Lost in the Mirror. It's about Borderline Personality Disorder. And based on what I read there, I thought it was possible I might have been able to be diagnosed as having BPD when I was younger. (Presumably no longer.) One of the characteristics of BPD, as I understand it, can be confusion related to gender identity... which I definitely have had.

I've been told, & I've also read, that BPD tends to burn itself out as one ages. So perhaps that's what happened with me. And perhaps that's also why my various "compulsions" (as I term them) have also sort-of dissipated over time. I don't know. It's all very confusing to me & I really don't understand any of it... which is why all I can do is to share my experiences & hope that somewhere within it all people who read it can find some nugget of insight that is of value.

Thank you for your help skeezyks, I really appreciate it. I think my main problem is the fear and anxiety that thinking about this is causing. I mean if I logically look at it, it's just an article of clothing, is sometimes considered "lingerie" so at least has some form of sexual connotations attached to it , etc . It might be something "different" but it's not dangerous or anything like that. Most of my fear is just being self conscious about it and what others would think.

[yogiK]

You're fine, don't worry about it! That's totally normal. Don't let society (or the Internet) tell you otherwise. Cheers!

[campervanman]

Sorry Ubuntu1 I did not reply before now! It`s because I don`t have a computer of my own, so I depend on my local library!

Going back to my fetish! My therapist said to me that maybe when your mum was killed, unawares too me, it did affect to a certain degree and that my aunt was an emotional replacement! And then with the assault that occurred and a short while later my aunt leaving, my mind set could of been searching for an other emotional comfort factor and the underwear (That were left behind by your aunt) may well be the connection!!!
Seems to me very plausible and maybe food for thought!!
Did anything major in your past ever happen too you that could of affected you emotionally??

[Patagonia]

I do not understand your desire to remove this fetish based on what you've shared.
You've told us that female underwear turns you on. If we stop right there I just don't see a problem.
I think you might've run into another problem bec you decided to read things on the internet bec this "fetish" does not fit what you consider the norm. But what is the norm?

Imho you're making this more complicated than it sounds or you're not sharing something else....like are you spending thousands of dollars on purchasing panties???
I'm not sure I understand I guess.

[Ubuntu1]

No it's nothing like that. I also have OCD which I think has latched onto this issue

[Trippin2.0]

You're ok, and well within the realm of "normal". If it was a bad thing to love a thong, there wouldn't be such a huge market for them. Thongs are meant to get your blood pumping.

I doubt your preference even counts as a fetish, sounds more like a combo of misinformation and OCD thats running amok.

Now if you had said you love the idea of a goat wearing a thong... Then I'd understand your shame and worry.

But women and thongs? It's like the most natural thing ever.

Chill, like seriously. You're driving yourself nuts.

[CloserToTheMid]

This is not in any way a mental illness or a cause for concern. We're attracted to what we're attracted to. As long as it's not hurting anybody, it's fair game. Check out any porn site. Look at the all the sick, crazy categories and ask yourself if thongs is a problem. Gang-bang, teens, bestiality domination, incest, steps, rape fantasies, men in women's panties, women peeing, foot sex...good grief. Humans are weird, sick people! For every oddball fantasy there is a porn site to give it to you. We are so hard on ourselves, though. We like what we like. Even if you were turned on by wearing women's thong underwear, not a one would judge you here. Some chicks even dig it.

[Ubuntu1]

Closertothemid, thanks for your response. It is a pretty tame thing if I think about it. I was never into hard core porn or anything , never into feet, bdsm etc etc . This is the only sort of "out there" thing that I really really like, maybe like how some guys really like stockings on their lady or whatever. In fact , lingerie in general is just a huge turn on for me I don't know why but its just the way it is for me.

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by Ubuntu1

Closertothemid, thanks for your response. It is a pretty tame thing if I think about it. I was never into hard core porn or anything , never into feet, bdsm etc etc . This is the only sort of "out there" thing that I really really like, maybe like how some guys really like stockings on their lady or whatever. In fact , lingerie in general is just a huge turn on for me I don't know why but its just the way it is for me.

Btw, it takes a lot of guts to talk openly about something you're ashamed of. Good for you!

It's only a problem if you aren't able to work, be social and go about your daily life. As long as it doesn't dominate the aspects of your day-to-day situations, there isn't really anything wrong with it. I have the same interest (I wouldn't even call it a fetish), except I like full-back panties. I've have it since high school and I am 27 now. You're doing fine, there's nothing to worry about and I hope you can be at a place where this simple turn-on is comfortable and does not bring anxiousness.

[Patagonia]

Ummmm let's not call each other "sick, crazy, weird" etc over fetishes.
There's enough judgment out there.
Thanks

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Ummmm let's not call each other "sick, crazy, weird" etc over fetishes.
There's enough judgment out there.
Thanks

I hear what you are saying, but I'm making a point. society sees those as sick,etc, but no one would say that about thong underwear. And none of it is anything to be ashamed of.

[Ubuntu1]

Ok I have to say that as a kid like when I was 13 or so I remember just the lingerie section of like the sears catalogue or jc penny or whatever turned me on. Like there didn't even have to be a model or whatever. I guess just the connotations of it. This is hard for me to admit because I feel like it is a huge problem that I got turned on from that. Like if you look at societies view of it one should only be turned on by a significant other or spouse, you shouldn't be more sexually excited just because of what your significant other is wearing ,etc.Maybe I am vastly overthinking this. I mean maybe it's not the end of the world that this is one of my big turn ons. If I really just stop and look at it logically it's a pretty "soft" thing to be into. I mean I'm not into hardcore bdsm for example (although there's nothing wrong with that if both people consent). It's hard to go really in depth about this because it's like scrutinizing specific things about sexuality I guess you can say.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Ubuntu1

.Maybe I am vastly overthinking this. I mean maybe it's not the end of the world that this is one of my big turn ons. If I really just stop and look at it logically it's a pretty "soft" thing to be into .... . It's hard to go really in depth about this because it's like scrutinizing specific things about sexuality I guess you can say.

yes you over thinking this ... what you should be asking yourself is not what turns you on but why is it bothering you ... find that out and I feel you problem will solve itself ...