[confusedone963]

hello everyone, please help...im having really bad issues with myself as of lately and i feel completley sick to my stomach and feel like throwing up! im extremely anxious bc of this and my mind wont stop racing bc i think ive turned sick...Anyways..im a 24 yr female and i've always had rape fantasies, and a fantasy of being young and molested...what gets me off/turned on in these fantasies is the rapist's/molester's arousal, and how perverted he is and how bad he wants to have his way with me to fulfill his sick perverted needs.... but the thing that scares me the most, is that i sometimes get in the "rapists head" and i am that rapist..i start to think, well wat is really getting this man off? oh i know, the fact that shes young and tight and that must feel amazing for him...i get off on THAT. that turns me on. not the actual sex with a woman or a child bc iam not sexually attracted to either, and i am completley REPULSED! about sex with children..i feel sick right now for real and i feel like crying just writing this!! wat does this mean? does this mean im a pedo? in the fantasies of molestation its me who is getting molested..but i have read taboo stories about daddy/daughter (not into incest what so ever ewwww!) just for the molestation aspect of the story, such as him coming into the girls bedroom at night etc. and i masturbate to the girl in the story about her being young and tight and how that satisfies him...sorry if i offended anyone in anyway with my graphic details, but is this normal?? the "getting into the rapist's head" aspect? please help and plz dont be too harsh on me..i dont want to feel more depressed, but i do want honest non-attack answers. do people do this? bc ive been doing endless research online to see if there are other females who take on the role of the male and came accross nothing and im scared out of my mind!!

[Brina2013]

Honestly I do not find it abnormal. It is a fantasy. I think it is more of a being in control aspect than anything else. Maybe you feel inferior in daily life and this fantasy gives you the control that you desire in reality. Just because it is a fantasy does not mean you will act it out in reality. I personally have similar fantasies that I would never act on in reality because of the nature of the fantasy. It doesn't make you a pedo or a deviant to fantasize about these things. I only see it as a problem if you took it out of the fantasy realm and into reality. Then I think that it would be something that you should worry about.

[growlycat]

Rape fantasies are more common than you think. If it really bothers you, a counselor can walk you through what it could mean.

[Edda]

None of what you describe is uncommon. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Sexual fantasies are extremely varied and many of them can be very satisfyingly acted out within the safety of a relationship between two consenting adults.

Of course, if you are concerned and uncomfortable with how you feel, do seek professional help.

[Pamelaspam1]

Just wanted to say I understand

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Rape fantasies are more common than you think. If it really bothers you, a counselor can walk you through what it could mean.

This

I even had a friend who was dating a girl that asked him to put on a ski mask and go outside. She would leave the door open for him and she wanted him to "sneak in and attack her".

[hamster-bamster]

I don't have such fantasies, but reading your account, I can see that you are driven by curiosity. You want to experience the man's perspective. That kind of curiosity - basically trying to see another person's point of view - is in itself a perfectly human thing. Do you want to see the workings of another person's mind in some other contexts, perhaps?

[growlithing]

I have fantasies like this. I don't imagine myself as a kid though. I also don't really get into the rapist's head. I just like the idea of someone desiring me so badly that he won't take no for an answer or the idea of being treated like an object. But that's fine that you do. It's all normal. Even the shame is normal. But there really isn't anything to be ashamed of.

[Middlemarcher]

Up until this last year (I'm in my early 30s), for all my life, as long as I could remember, even back to childhood, the only way I could masturbate to orgasm was by imagining myself as a man raping a woman. (I am female.) The man was never anyone I knew, and neither was the woman (she was often young, btw). No other type of fantasy would get me to orgasm.

Fantasies are just fantasies. If they don't bother you, then you're fine.

But for what it's worth, I'll share my experience: my fantasies bothered me, though after a while, I denied to myself that they did. Really, for me, they were an indicator of a whole lot of other underlying, repressed issues. I got into therapy over a year ago for reasons unrelated to this, but this is one of the many things I've talked about and dealt with in therapy. My fantasies have been slowly evolving to include other types of fantasies, ones which are not so distressing to me, and I'm usually actually in my own fantasies now (imagine that!). This involved a whole lot of exploration of childhood and adolescent issues, and it hasn't been easy to talk about these things and deal with them. But for me, it has made a big difference.

[TheJettSet27]

I have a friend who has several strange kinks, including cannibalism fantasies. It's not abnormal, it's just a fantasy. That person will never act upon those fantasies - she said so herself. Fantasies are fantasies. As long as it stays that way, you're fine.
Hell, even necrophilia can be viewed at as the same way. Necrophilia is basically wanting complete dominance over the subject. It's death that colors that fetish so harshly.

[confusedone963]

Originally Posted by Middlemarcher

Up until this last year (I'm in my early 30s), for all my life, as long as I could remember, even back to childhood, the only way I could masturbate to orgasm was by imagining myself as a man raping a woman. (I am female.) The man was never anyone I knew, and neither was the woman (she was often young, btw). No other type of fantasy would get me to orgasm.

Fantasies are just fantasies. If they don't bother you, then you're fine.

But for what it's worth, I'll share my experience: my fantasies bothered me, though after a while, I denied to myself that they did. Really, for me, they were an indicator of a whole lot of other underlying, repressed issues. I got into therapy over a year ago for reasons unrelated to this, but this is one of the many things I've talked about and dealt with in therapy. My fantasies have been slowly evolving to include other types of fantasies, ones which are not so distressing to me, and I'm usually actually in my own fantasies now (imagine that!). This involved a whole lot of exploration of childhood and adolescent issues, and it hasn't been easy to talk about these things and deal with them. But for me, it has made a big difference.

Thanks soo much for this response and thank u for ur time....i too used to pretend i was a make believe male raping a make believe woman, and im female! I googled everywhere and couldnt find others like me so i thought i was weird or something.. But now my fantasies involve me being young (knowing nothing of sex) and having a perverted man teach me..sounds sick i know..thats why it bothers me. But im am so happy for u that u got therapy and as a result of doing that u found out the underlying issues that caused ur fantasies..

[confusedone963]

Originally Posted by growlithing

I have fantasies like this. I don't imagine myself as a kid though. I also don't really get into the rapist's head. I just like the idea of someone desiring me so badly that he won't take no for an answer or the idea of being treated like an object. But that's fine that you do. It's all normal. Even the shame is normal. But there really isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Thats why i image im a kid bc i would be voulnerable and grown men do take advantage and have their way (i know sick!!!! i hate writing this stuff) and perverted men are very aroused and arousal itself is what turns me on in general...like if im with my bf and hes turned on i get REALLY into it. And like you said, you like the idea that a man is desiring u so badly and wants to treat u like an object..well thats what i kinda meant about "getting in the rapists head" like you know what he is thinking, u know he wants to treat u as an object, that he sees you as voulnerable. you know what is turning him on etc. I loved ur response so much u made me feel like not some deviant freak and that its ok to feel ashamed. And that its normal.
Thank u

[forever_alone]

Originally Posted by confusedone963

hello everyone, please help...im having really bad issues with myself as of lately and i feel completley sick to my stomach and feel like throwing up! im extremely anxious bc of this and my mind wont stop racing bc i think ive turned sick...Anyways..im a 24 yr female and i've always had rape fantasies, and a fantasy of being young and molested...what gets me off/turned on in these fantasies is the rapist's/molester's arousal, and how perverted he is and how bad he wants to have his way with me to fulfill his sick perverted needs.... but the thing that scares me the most, is that i sometimes get in the "rapists head" and i am that rapist..i start to think, well wat is really getting this man off? oh i know, the fact that shes young and tight and that must feel amazing for him...i get off on THAT. that turns me on. not the actual sex with a woman or a child bc iam not sexually attracted to either, and i am completley REPULSED! about sex with children..i feel sick right now for real and i feel like crying just writing this!! wat does this mean? does this mean im a pedo? in the fantasies of molestation its me who is getting molested..but i have read taboo stories about daddy/daughter (not into incest what so ever ewwww!) just for the molestation aspect of the story, such as him coming into the girls bedroom at night etc. and i masturbate to the girl in the story about her being young and tight and how that satisfies him...sorry if i offended anyone in anyway with my graphic details, but is this normal?? the "getting into the rapist's head" aspect? please help and plz dont be too harsh on me..i dont want to feel more depressed, but i do want honest non-attack answers. do people do this? bc ive been doing endless research online to see if there are other females who take on the role of the male and came accross nothing and im scared out of my mind!!

It's only a problem when you view it as a problem. It's only a problem when you believe the stuff taught to you in school, when you were growing up, etc.

Take for example, why is eating chicken, beef, or pork normal but a problem to vegetarians? Vegetarian view it as a problem and it goes against their belief. Same with sexual fantasies, if it goes against your morals and belief/religion, then you might view it as wrong. It's all in the head.

Ask yourself, why do you feel disgusted and sick to the stomach? Is the actual fantasy, the act of being raped, being young and molested, making you feel sick? Or the fact that you feel that these fantasy is abnormal and you feel you should not have them?

In my opinion, many people have weird sexual fantasies. In the sex category, there will always be a sadist and a masochist, the only difference is, they are set in different levels. Some maybe extremely sadist and love to perform abusive acts on the opposite sex. Some are slightly less extreme, and just love watching it happen. Some are neutral, where they can be both sadist and masochist at different times. And the rest, just love being dominated, raped, abused, degraded, etc.

In your case, you are probably in between the line of an extreme masochist to slightly extreme. I say probably because I don't know you full well, only you know yourself. If fantasies is all you have, then you are totally normal because they are only fantasies and have not been act upon. Trust me, what you have will benefit you when you find yourself in a healthy monogamous sexual relationship. Many men will die to have a girlfriend with a wild sex fantasy and that is the category you fall into in your case. Not only do you have a wild sexual fantasy, you can put your feelings into the mind of the more dominant and get aroused over that, which mean you have a gift of sexual empathy. As long as your man gets turned on from the thought of molesting you, you get even more aroused. In contrast, most men enjoy giving oral sex to their woman and they get super aroused from that, it's not something everyone can do, so just know that what you possess is quite a gift. Word of advice is, don't take things for granted. Always know when to draw the line and say no whenever you feel the situation is getting out of hand with someone you love. Although what I said might sound good, it is also something that can easily destroy a relationship and more if neither sex knows when and how to control it.

Are you a pedophile? No, pedophile are people who have sexual fantasies with young children and would perform sexual acts on young children. For you, you love the feeling of being precious and love the feeling that someone will go to the extent of violating your precious boundaries, in which it makes you feel even more precious.

I am not going to lie, I love watching rape porn and girls resisting. Not only that, but in reality, the more a girl say no, the more aroused I get. I was in a relationship with a girl that had the same fantasies as you and she loved being molested and raped, and so we get into play rape all the time. It's fun, it's different, and definitely something to kill the boredom in a relationship. I can never imagine going into a relationship again with a girl that is sexually mutual, it's freaking boring!

Now, if you had read all of those, go back to the question, what really makes you feel disgusted and sick to the stomach? Is it the actual sex fantasies itself? Or the fact that you feel you are abnormal and different from everyone else?

Whichever answer you come up with, just think of this, there are people who are considered worst. For example, bestiality, necrophiliac, pedophiles, incest, etc. And these are only CONSIDERED worst, but really, are they? No, definitely not.

[hamster-bamster]

OP,

If you can please stop inserting those blips of criticizing self-commenting ("sick, I know!!!" Kind of stuff) and just try to express yourself as your thoughts and ideas flow respecting them for what they are (you are describing your fantasy life, mind you; you are not reporting having actually raped minors), you will benefit immediately just from forcing yourself to mute the inner critic. Much recommended as the first step towards more happiness.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by confusedone963

hello everyone, please help...im having really bad issues with myself as of lately and i feel completley sick to my stomach and feel like throwing up! im extremely anxious bc of this and my mind wont stop racing bc i think ive turned sick...Anyways..im a 24 yr female and i've always had rape fantasies, and a fantasy of being young and molested...what gets me off/turned on in these fantasies is the rapist's/molester's arousal, and how perverted he is and how bad he wants to have his way with me to fulfill his sick perverted needs.... but the thing that scares me the most, is that i sometimes get in the "rapists head" and i am that rapist..i start to think, well wat is really getting this man off? oh i know, the fact that shes young and tight and that must feel amazing for him...i get off on THAT. that turns me on. not the actual sex with a woman or a child bc iam not sexually attracted to either, and i am completley REPULSED! about sex with children..i feel sick right now for real and i feel like crying just writing this!! wat does this mean? does this mean im a pedo? in the fantasies of molestation its me who is getting molested..but i have read taboo stories about daddy/daughter (not into incest what so ever ewwww!) just for the molestation aspect of the story, such as him coming into the girls bedroom at night etc. and i masturbate to the girl in the story about her being young and tight and how that satisfies him...sorry if i offended anyone in anyway with my graphic details, but is this normal?? the "getting into the rapist's head" aspect? please help and plz dont be too harsh on me..i dont want to feel more depressed, but i do want honest non-attack answers. do people do this? bc ive been doing endless research online to see if there are other females who take on the role of the male and came accross nothing and im scared out of my mind!!

I know what this is exactly like, I am a 20 year old male was molested and raped as a child many times growing up. The thing that sets me apart to know this exactly. It's a female desire to want intimacy over the sex, like you described you don't want the sex more repulsed by it and confused of these feelings and fantasies, because you just described it on the mark of what I go through with me. You want to feel sexy, wanted, cherished, and in a world where you can be free and appreciated that your sexuality isn't binding you in chains(not a bdsm reference), but you can have your fantasies not rule your life, because you are hoping one day and so on it will go away from earning what your heart truly desires. Mine is the same, bout me except a girl I am in love with or dating etc, is getting off cheating on me from being raped by some other man and telling me I am nothing. It's exactly what I go through just in different format. I feel ya brah I truly do. Dem feels be killin me today. I'm glad you posted this, because I finally had the opportunity to tell people who know the feeling what it means truly. I can see it very clear what you were trying to say. Thankyou goodluck

[Donna_N]

I have thoughts about being raped and seeing myself through the rapist's eyes feeling what he feels, the power he has over me, how helpless I am. Feeling her get turned on by my helplessness him getting excited by hurting me.

[IndieVisible]

While one can argue if rape fantasies are normal or not, what I am concerned about is a 24 year old female is having these fantasies as a victim pretending to be a child. I think this warrants some concern and you should talk about this to a therapist and get their take on it. I'm worried their are some underlying reasons for these fantasies, specially being a child victim. I am not judging anyone here, but I do see reason for concern and it should be discussed further with a professional.

[confusedone963]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

OP,

If you can please stop inserting those blips of criticizing self-commenting ("sick, I know!!!" Kind of stuff) and just try to express yourself as your thoughts and ideas flow respecting them for what they are (you are describing your fantasy life, mind you; you are not reporting having actually raped minors), you will benefit immediately just from forcing yourself to mute the inner critic. Much recommended as the first step towards more happiness.

Thank you for this! This is of much help and great advice and i appreciate your response

I may be off base here, but to me you are describing the desire for a man to completely control you. And lots of us love that. It's the basis for a lot of D/s relationships.
It gives us a feeling of helplessness that is damn erotic (you know if you have read any romance novels..)
We like being overpowered and feeling helpless....
And, on the flipside, it's equally as empowering and erotic to be Dominant....it's goes both ways.....Power gets your adrenaline pumping and gives you a wonderful "high"....

Perhaps if you didn't use the word "rape" in your thinking, it might make your fantasy a little easier for you.....a lot of women don't mind the word, but a lot of the time it's considered a crime of hatred....and that doesn't evoke anything sexy at all....

Just a thought.

[SoupDragon]

If you consider the huge range of fictional films and stories out there and therefore the subject matter in the minds of the writers, it is not abnormal to have thoughts and fantasies, however awful you may perceive them to be. It is when they turn into actions against others, that it may be concerning.

But if you suspect that you have some lost memories or are distressed, then l would sagged exploring with a T.

[confusedone963]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

While one can argue if rape fantasies are normal or not, what I am concerned about is a 24 year old female is having these fantasies as a victim pretending to be a child. I think this warrants some concern and you should talk about this to a therapist and get their take on it. I'm worried their are some underlying reasons for these fantasies, specially being a child victim. I am not judging anyone here, but I do see reason for concern and it should be discussed further with a professional.

Thank you for your response! I was just wondering if you could elaborate more of what you mean by saying some concern?...that i've turned sick for having these thoughts? im getting scared again.

[confusedone963]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

If you consider the huge range of fictional films and stories out there and therefore the subject matter in the minds of the writers, it is not abnormal to have thoughts and fantasies, however awful you may perceive them to be. It is when they turn into actions against others, that it may be concerning.

But if you suspect that you have some lost memories or are distressed, then l would sagged exploring with a T.

I have questioned my own past before, years ago. And have recently started to question it again. My memories are very vague. And the more i try to remember things, the more i think im just making things up (false memories). I think i was inappropriately touched by my half-sister's father.. Im just really confused and try not to think of it. But deep down i do know that this is where my molestation fantasy stems from... Im just freaked out that i "got into the rapist's/molester's head" and thought that made me deviant in some way. But im so thankful for everyones reponses and thier insight to help me

[alexa00018]

Agree with what Sophiesmom said earlier in the thread - I think its sad that we tend to use the word rape in this kind of thing. I've had fantasies of being raped, and wondering what its like raping a woman. But its not actually rape, because in both cases its actually me or a girl pretending to not want sex, but actually being turned on by it

The thing that turns me on is the being turnred on by something taboo. I dont have real rape fantasies at all, and any woman I'd like to rape (pretending to be a man, or with a ehm strap on!) is completely arounsed and pretending to resist.

I'm pretty sure that most women who have these kind of fantasies feel the same way and its a real shame there isn't another word for that kind of thing, because rape fantasy doesn't cover it.

Well like someone mentioned above, I recommend talking to a therapist. It is just fantasy so don't be ashamed or hard on yourself. Fantasy is normal for all of us in some aspects and it is great like someone else said if you have a partner that can help you safely explore certain parts of a fantasy. Hope all is well.

[Sirensong18]

I also have the 'rape fantasy'. I think it stems from wanting to feel so desired and sexy that someone would be willing to defy laws and conventions to just ravage you.

At least that's how it works in my head, it's an ego thing.