[champion]

I am an early 20's male. Have had sex with about 9 women in my life and am with a girlfriend now of 1.5 years. Lately, and for a while now, I feel like I have little to no interest in having sex. It used to be that I would not have so much interest in sex but would still find some interest in masturbation, but now I don't even want to do that much anymore. Its like I am trying to get away from sex as much as possible, I dont like to talk about it or joke about it or even think about it.

At the present moment, the sex I do have is nothing compared to what I can remember from earlier in this relationship and with previous women. I guess I don't really feel into it, specifically emotionally. And this is a good point to make, emotionally I am much less involved than sexually. There will be times when I get aroused physically but still have no interest in doing anything, and will try to hide my arousal in the hopes that I won't have to do anything.

I don't consider myself anything but heterosexual but homosexual porn usually gets me more aroused and I find a great deal of anxiety surrounding that entire subject of being gay.

My girlfriend has said that I am stressed and notes that I have been sleeping a lot and messing up in school somewhat. I am probably depressed.

Sex can feel great for me or it can feel like nothing with only a blip on the radar at ejaculation. Compared to my partner, who seems to enjoy sex a lot, I don't really think I do. It is a task not a pleasure. Sometimes I feel like I would be better off just not having sex at all. It is a big source of anxiety for me.

[Rhapsody]

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champion said:
I am probably depressed.

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If this is true then this might be the controlling factor in your low sex drive right now....... what do you think?

And please try not to worry so much over the same sex feelings / thoughts when it comes to sexual pleasure - as I do believe it happens to a lot of us at some time or another in our life.

Have you starting taking any new medications lately? Many psychiatric and other meds can affect sex drive.

I also agree with Rhapsody about the depression. Have you seen a doctor about this?

Sexual problems can be soooo frustrating. I have had my own issues where I have wondered what was wrong with me or why I was feeling a certain way. It's a good thing that you feel comfortable talking about it (at least here anyhow). Many people are too embarassed and therefore don't get help for what might be a simple problem.

[Peacemaker]

I can absolutely relate with you. I have absolutely no sex drive ever. It has been a year since I have had sex and never think about it.

Try not to be worried or anxious about looking a homosexual porn and having interest in it. It is absolutely normal and doesn't mean that you are homosexual.

As above, I do wonder if you are depressed as it will surely zap interest and/or enjoyment in sex.

Feel free to PM me anytime about this. It may help me too as I carry guilt.

Peacemaker

[champion]

Thanks for the replies guys. And I dont mind talking about it. I do not see a doctor (anymore) and have not been on any medication for more than 6 months. I prefer the holistic mind over matter approach when possible.

I kind of feel like sex is central to my thinking, my conscious thinking that is. Meaning I kind of intentionally make it an issue. I ask myself why I don't want to have sex, or if I don't want "her" why not...."do you want that girl instead?"

I still feel attracted to women but sex seems to be taking the back burner.

Funny thing. The other day I was kind of down. The next day I seriously had at least 3 really good things happen to me. I also went to the gym and was feeling great after that, as usual. Then I went to my gf's house and things changed. I was super sensitive to criticism and I became very angry. She pushed me at one point, semi jokingly, and I pushed her back enough to startle her.

I then felt moderate urges to have sex so I tried that and it was a no go after a few minutes. I was not at all into it. I then snapped at her and yelled at her to get off of me. She left and I have not seen or heard from her since.

It is hard to explain this. I feel good but just not sexual....is that wrong? Maybe I need a new girlfriend after a long hiatus where I learn to appreciate women again and not objectify what they offer. Look at them for their value and not for their sex quality....

[Raynaadi]

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Maybe I need a new girlfriend after a long hiatus where I learn to appreciate women again and not objectify what they offer. Look at them for their value and not for their sex quality....

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I LOVE that. Seriously I love that.....I've been the girl with the guy who made me feel like I was only good for sex. Granted, I had a part in that too. I let myself feel that way even though it might not have necessarily been the case. I'm in a relationship now where I actually want it more than my boyfriend, and its not that I'm objectifying him for sex, its just that I want to be with him, and its hard. So now I can kind of see where my ex was coming from when I didn't want it.

Maybe she's just not the girl for you, you know? Maybe it is time to take some time for yourself. I've done that many a time, take some time to just be with me. And now I'm much healthier for it.