my uniqe fiance

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lovefrogs71 said:
thank you for the reply and i dont want to understand his sexuality. he already knows i dont like things like that and im not going too. but i do love him i guess i will just overlook it and deal with it. if he ever does go for a guy though i will leave him and he does know that.

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i think it's unfair that you put up with this because he is looking for other men on a personals site... i would find that very insulting, even if i knew he was 100% straight. and if you don't like the things he does then eventually it will become a problem. because you don't want to understand and he doesn't want to change. i don't think you guys are being fair to each other - and in the end you are not being fair to yourself.

well.. that is based on what you have written here so i don't know what thereality is. this is what i think, good luck in figuring out what is best for you.

I believe this is called the ostridge effect, my mother does this. Sticks her head in the sand and doesn't deal with the matter at hand. I'm sorry to be so harsh but if you don't like this behavior than you have a big problem with a HUGE part of who he is. How can you love someone that behaves in a way you can't stand? I'm not judging him or you. You should deal with this, either except it or move on looking the other way is not an option. You will have big problems down the road if you chose to over look this.

Good luck!

to vetswife and katiekaboom-----alot has happened since i was on here last. i try talking to him about anything and he gets so defensive and just makes me feel real sad and i end up just clamming up all together.hes told me in the past that he wont stop wearing womans underwear,he wont get rid of the womans clothes he has packed up in a box,when we do have sex its only once a week anymore and it takes him forever to get motivated at the beginning its almost as if he only has sex with me to keep me from *****ing about it,as far as i know he hasnt looked up any womans clothes since the last time i was on here but he could also be hiding it considering he knows that i know he looks those things up late at night after i go to sleep.what next?? what do i do??i even tryed telling him we need a vacation for just us--im still waiting on that one. i sit at the house all day-cooking,cleaning,taking care of his bipolar 10yr old son that doesnt mind me at all.we see him in the mornings for a hour or so after he gets up and before he goes to work then he gets home around 6 or 7 at night and is on the computer for the rest of the night and i usually go to sleep alone(computer in are bedroom).so what do i do?

I have a cousin who is a cross dresser/transvestite, he is on his second marriage his second wife knew about his cross dressing BEFORE she married him but he was happy to do it just in the house out of sight of the children and they have plodded along like this for some years.

Recently his wife left him taking with her their children as he has started to demand that he be allowed to dress as and when he wants and go out as well, she is not happy with this and has offered him an ultimatum, he has hit the ball back in her court by offering his own.

So its not just about how he is 'today' but how he will be in a few years, as it can be very frustrating for him as he gets older and like my cousin more adventurous.

I am not saying who is right or who is wrong out the the two of them as its none of my buisness. However there are now children in this situation and its getting very upsetting for them, they are confused and upset at not living with daddy but mummy cant cope with how daddy is, its all very very sad.

if you are so unhappy with this man and you can't accept his lifestyle then I think it is time to go your seperate ways. I can't see wasting time when you are so unhappy. life is too short. I hope you find peace soon.

i agree with bebop.

there are many men out there who can make you happy (((lovefrogs)))

I too agree with bebop, it sounds like you need to start packing.

I know how hard it is to move, to change. You've become comfortable in your living arrangement. You hope that someone tells you to hang in there and that everything will be okay. But from what I read, you guys are oil and water. It sounds like he's a good friend at best. Maybe you like him and he's nice, but it doesn't sound like he's a good mate/match for you.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for all of you.