Weird Nightmares That I've Been Having All my Life

Hi. I've been having a strange type of nightmare/mental condition for pretty much all my life (I'm 21 now, and I specifically remember having these same types of nightmares back when I was 3). I got them quite often when I was about age 5 to 10 (several times per month), but they started to occur much less often as I got older (I get them about 3 times per year now). I know that this post is really long, but I wanted to include all the info I can. Hopefully someone will have enough time to read it!

Basically what happens is that I'll get these strange nightmares about an hour after going to bed, and they'll wake me up a few minutes after they start (although I never wake up screaming). Upon waking up, I'll continue getting the same symptoms that I have while sleeping (described below) for about another 20 minutes. After that, I can usually get back to sleep no problem and I won't have the nightmare again that night.

The nightmares are extremely abstract and confusing, but I'll give my best shot of describing them.

Basically, I would describe them as a direct injection of fear. I don't usually see anything in these dreams, and I don't hear very much; instead, I just get unimaginably scared for basically no reason. These dreams seem to be, in the most literal sense, Hell. They invoke forms of fear and horror that I have never experienced in any other aspect of life, and they seem to have unprecedented control on my brain's ability to scare itself. I should point out that it's not like the fear you get when you're in a car crash or something like that; it's MUCH more intense than that, and it seems to be a fear that is completely internal to the brain (in other words, I can't imagine any real-world experience that would trigger this fear).

Another way to describe these nightmares is that they're like an information overload of the brain. It's as if my brain is trying to think about a ridiculously large number of things all at once. This often involves numbers: I think of very large numbers (dozens of digits in length), and I feel absolutely obligated to perform some kind of math function on them (add, multiply, logarithm, derivative, etc). I feel as if I'll be sent to Hell or something if I don't successfully do whatever math function is needed. Sometimes I'll visualize these numbers floating around in a black empty space. (I should point out that I've always been really fascinated with math and numbers, so dreaming about numbers makes sense for me).

Another one of the main aspects of these nightmares is that everything seems to expand and contract. If I happen to be seeing anything in the nightmare (usually those numbers), they'll expand and contract at weird rates.

Related to the last point is the size of my "thinking space". This will need a bit of explaining. You know how when you think of something (especially when you visualize something in your head), you seem to see it right in the center of your head, and it's not very big. For example, none of your thoughts seem to be occurring outside of your head; if you had to say where they are in 3D space, you'd locate them in your head. This spot is what I call the "thinking space". In these dreams, my thinking space gets extremely huge, and my thoughts seem to be happening outside of my head; it's as if I can reach out and actually touch my thoughts. When the dream starts, my thinking space suddenly expands tremendously, and it usually stays big.

Whenever there's sound in the nightmare, it's very loud. It usually starts out at a normal sound level, steadily gets louder, and then reach a maximum at some point. The best way I can describe this is that when people think of a sound in their head, it's usually at a fairly constant sound level and they can't really change how loud is seems to them. But, in these dreams the sound is several times louder than sounds that you usually hear in your head. The sounds in these dreams usually seem to be some kind of voice, but I can never make out what it's saying.

As I said above, the nightmare itself only lasts for a few minutes, after which I wake up and continue experiencing the same symptoms for about 20 minutes or more. I will be fully conscious and I'll be able to do anything that I can do at any other part in the day, but my nightmare seems to still "linger" with me. Also, now that I'm awake everything becomes more visual: my room seems to expand and contract (well, this part is kinda hard to describe because I *sense* that the room is expanding and contracting, but at the same time I visually see that, for sure, the room is not changing size; I'm not hallucinating), and the numbers that I was seeing in my dream seem to take over my room (but again, not visually; it's not a hallucination; instead, I *sense* that they're taking over the room).

Again, these nightmares are extremely hard to describe, and coming up with the above description took about 15 years to do (when I was a kid I would wake up telling my parents that I was having a nightmare, but I had no idea how to explain it to them because there's almost no visual aspect of the nightmare). And yes, I know, the above description looks kinda crazy, but I can assure you that I am a very sane person.

As for what might trigger these nightmares, it seems that fevers make them happen much more often. I don't know of any other triggers, other than being a kid (when they happened most often).

Some other background info: I'm fairly normal otherwise, I have always had regular sleeping habits, I often have regular dreams, I have normal nightmares about as often as everyone else, my IQ is quite a bit above average (140) (I don't mean to brag here, but I thought this might be relevant to the topic), and I've never had any major emotional, physical, or mental problems. Also of interest is that my mom got nightmares similar to these when she was very young (younger than 10; she never got them after that). I don't know of any other relative that gets them.

So, does anyone have any idea what these nightmares are about? Are they something to be worried about? Does anyone else get nightmares like these? It would be quite interesting to talk to someone with a similar experience.

i have the exact same nightmares

I can relate...mine dream pattern is always something along the lines that i am "trapped", "being followed", or unable to get out of an unknown location that i am "stuck" in." These dreams eem to occur several times a week and i wake from that type of dream several times a night but never go back into the same dream. I would agree with your assumption that it has something to do with fear. Mine i think are also along the lines of being stuck in a patten of life behaviors that i havent changed or even if i do I keep going back to.
The defination of insanity is diond the same thing over and over again and expecting a diffenrent result. Ah ha that is me!!! Why havent I been able to change all of this yet...again back to fear..... I have long been interestee in my dreams but like you stated you cant exactly give all the details tothe dream just the theme....thank you for your post.

This is the EXACT dream I've expierenced

Weeeeird, I have something that sounds soo similar to this. Except to me everything feels big suffocating, even sounds are big and suffocating pillowy.

I have asked a lot of people about this, and have never found anyone that knew what I was talking about.

It is like a total horror feeling. It started when I was about 8 or 9. It started with moms and dads feeding their kids through this massive machine and the parents were turning the cranks to feed the children through, my parents were cranking me through as well. This was attach to the feelings I mentioned. Over the years the visual of that was lost.

I still get this dream and I'm now 32 years old. However I get this feeling of everything being big, suffocating and pillowy often when I am awake too and like you it lats about 20 min or so. But when I get it when I am awake I could be out with people, walking whatever, seems to be no pattern. The worst is sounds feeling like this. It's so overwhelming I can't really tell if my environment has changed or not. It's like all of my senses are dreaming the same dream. My brain gets very slow when this is going on too I noticed, and I have a much more difficult time with speech.

I am really curious as to what this is, I have always been trying to find out. I started calling it my environmental dream because I don't know how to relate to what it is.

I realize this is an old post, just been looking for something like this for a long time.

I believe you when you say you are sane.

I somehow understand this unnamed, unexplainable fear.

Dont' ask me how.

I just do.

I wish I had the right words to tell you how much I empathize.

Billi

This almost scared me more than the nightmare, because I used to have something almost exactly the same, and still do. In fact, your post blew me away so much, I just had to register so I could reply

Almost everything you described is the same for me, even the numbers, and a few things of my own.

It started when I was 3-4, from what I remember I must have been really sick because I was sleeping in my parents bed, and then it started. I remember it like it was yesterday, my parents door was closed over, and you could see the hallway light through the open space between the door and the frame. The best I can describe it is, the door was big, but at the same time it was small. Very similar to your pulsating big/small explanation. I would hear a white noise type, as if it was deep in my ear canal. Sort of like a static mixed with a box fan, and it would go from quite to really loud, and at the same time I would hear yelling voices, from what I can remember I BELIEVE it was the voice of my dad, but I'm not 100%. I would lie there petrified that this.....man/voice/object would get me or notice I was there. I would see object type things along with a body, but not a very detailed body. If I had to explain it to somebody who didn't have any clue what I was talking about, It would go: It was like I was light headed, semi dizzy, a foot tall watching something 20 feet walk around me, around the room, and float above my head, while there is a "congested" static/fan type noise in my ear/head, while a voice would casually talk, and then convert to a yell, back to a talk, and with every yell, the size would increase or decrease.

Although I VERY rarely get that same dream, as in it happened to me for the first time in many years the other night, (which is why I googled it and was directed here), I still remember, to this day, the horror and fear I would have when I had this reoccurring...situation, because I was never fully asleep, in fact, I would say I was almost wide awake.

Also, sometimes when I'll lie down on my side and watch TV, I can feel it start to happen. I'll try to explain it, but the people/objects on TV will seem VERY big, but at the same time, small because it's on a TV screen. It's like those trick photographs where a 6 foot man stands next to a sky scraper and seem to be the same size. The people look HUGE, but at the same time my mind can tell/knows the real size, it's very trippy.

Keep in mind, I've never done any drug (outside of pain medication, the regular, etc) and I've never had a history of night terrors. I'm 21 now, and like I said it started when I was 3 or 4.

I'm not so much looking for a answer as to what it is, but more so just, sharing my experience with someone that has had the same/very similar situation.

Please feel free to reply and ask any questions, or add anything. I'm very, VERY fascinated with how well you described it, how accurate, and that somebody out there has the same imagination(?) as me.

hi there, my names jack and im a 21 year old male, well firstly i want to thank you for describing the feeling. i have the EXACT same feelings/dreams. i sit downand try to explain to my mom and she never really understands it. ive probably had this dream about 10 times in my life and everytime it is just as terrifying. i normally forget the dream after a few days or a week but ive literally just had one about 2 hours ago (hense me googling it straight after the nightmare), and im going to attempt to describe it.
Everytime it happens the activity involved in the dream is something that is currentlyactive in my life, and always involves numbers. 9/10 the numbers is an ammount of money i owe to somebody due to an accident or something of my fault. So im going to attempt to describe this evenings nightmare, firstly there was no sound, very limited vision and about 10 people with me and i didnt recognise anyone. I was employed to do some block paving for someone (just started my own drive business) and somehow i kicked about 500 sqm blocks and basically ruined everything and a number sstarted rolling around a bit like a lottery rollover (spinning increasing numbers). That itself is hardly a dream let alone a nightmare but the FEAR and anxiety that i feel for about 15 minutes is something i never ever experince any other time in my life. It was exactly how i would imagine "HELL" to be. Im a big lad and very rarely release my emotions to people and i feel so vulnerable, scared and suprisingly young when i wake up. I have nightmares occasionally and i always wake up realise its a nightmare and go back to sleep but this is completely different. As i look back at the dream now i almost laugh because there is absolutely nothing scary about it, which is why im so confused when i have a near enough anxiety attack after it. just typing this out has helped me vent to people i know understand, i have been in extremely frightening positions in my life, near death situations and never felt a fear like this certain dream. Everytime i have had this dream it has been when im overtired/hungover/stressed etc. well thank you for posting this i feel like im not a complete freak on my own.
many thanks
jack

This is weird. I just read this and when I was very young, probably around 3 or 4 I started getting nightmares like these. It was when I was really sick I would get them. Mine were not about numbers though it was about string, there would be a smooth piece of string then it would curl up into a ball and start getting really tangled and more tangled and it would be so massive then it would go smooth again and repeat. I probably had the dreams through my childhood, mostly when I was sick. I haven't had one now for a long long time but this post reminded me of them.

Another part of the dream would be I would be holding onto rope and someone would be pulling the rope and I'd keep falling into holes and then be back to being pulled again and then the rope would tangle up into this overwhelming size and shape in my mind. I'd hear voices really loud all talking over each other too everything was really loud and overwhelming. It's really hard to even try and describe the dreams they were so weird but This sounds exactly in the same kind of experience. Just the feeling or total horror and fear in these dreams was horrific.

id like to know if anyone has found an explanation for these. ive had them frequently beforw, usually when I have had a high fever. also,like you it started around 3, when I had a form of scarlet fever. what really caught me was the "expanding contraxting sensation, for me, when things were large I was irrationally fearful (best description I can do) and when it shrank It was like I had almost calmed, but I knew it was just beneath the surface waiting to come back. I havent had one recently though, atleast a year, but I thought it was just me. hope someone has info on this.

Thank you so much for posting this. I googled it because I had these dreams in my youth, and now that I'm a grown man (39), sometimes, I can still feel the sensation of the dreams in certain situations. I think mine started at age 10-12, I don't remember having them before. The first I can recall, was horrifying, and even after I woke up, I literally ran across my house screaming and terrified because 'numbers' where chasing me.
That time, as well as others, I felt as if been chased by a mathematical pattern on numbers that multiplied, and where suddenly chasing me, as I ran across the house trying to escape from this. In later dreams, I was caught in some sort of need or obliged to follow mathematical patterns (multiply, or divisions) at very fast paces, and at some quick point, be completely overwhelmed by my impotence to process the patterns. Complete cerebral overload as someone described above. -- 2-4-8-16-32-64 .....1024-2048.. and so on, all in a couple of seconds.. Dizziness would enter, light headedness, anxiety, FRUSTRATION that would make me want to cry.
I have also had a second type of dreams, which are not associated with numbers, but which leave me with the same *sensation* of frustration than the 'number dream'.
This dream is about the contrast between beauty, and ugly. I will start dreaming of someone (could be me) singing beautifly and peacefuly, with such grace.. everyone smiling, such harmony... only for that same person to start singing horribly, making stupid noises, which make everyone frustrated and sad. -And then the person will start singing beautifly again, and the pattern will repeat itself again, until I wake up lightheaded, dizzy, and wanting to cry.
That same dream can happen with contrasts of all sorts. Big - small, beautiful - horrible, perfect - defective.

Although this last type doesn't have much to do with numbers, the dreams are similar, as they start as a *sensation* which not only continues even way after I wake up, but the sensation can also even start while being awake. In which case I will only feel the frustration and dizziness and light headedness, but not get totally involved in the dream.

As related info, I can say that I am also quite normal in other aspects of my life. Healthy, professional, don't use drugs or alcohol. Im a perfectionist, and I think these dreams are caused by a similar anxiety than the one that causes perfectionism.

The thing is, I'm in this blog now because now that I'm a father, my 12 yr old daughter gets the exact same dreams as I did. She woke up yesterday 2 hours after going to bed with one of those. So I googled it, and here I am, speaking to the void for the first time about them. Thx so much for sharing, and I'll post what my daughter writes about them when she finishes. Cheers to all.

Mine didn't start until I hit puberty. I experience everything other than the after-effects of the expanding-contracting, though the nightmares seriously impact my concentration for a long time afterwards. I don't get any visuals to fuel the fear, but I just get inexplicably scared. But the math is something that really rings true to me -- I often feel extreme amounts of anxiety because I feel as if I must express my thoughts or feelings through mathematical equations that I am otherwise unaware of the function of. I've also had dreams in which I could only speak in Spanish, of which I'm only partially fluent. It's just really frightening & I'm overcome with anxiety.

EDIT: My IQ is also in the upper range, about 147 when I was last tested, & I have schizoaffective disorder/pure O OCD. Not sure if any of that is relevant but I figured I'd share it since you made sure to offer background details.

Also, my boyfriend used to have nightmares about being chased around by numbers & being swallowed up by them. I'm not sure if that is related or not but it seems to be.

I get exactly the same thing: perception of huge numbers, and the infernal need to perform some calculation. For me this is often combined with getting out of bed and walking about in delerium. It's very frightening. I once tried to 'get out' of the nightmare by trying to walk through a wall, which wasn't very successful, and just made me more confused. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. Has anyone else experienced walking at night too?

Thanks

Please don't laugh, but have you ever been checked for sleep apnea? I had what I thought was a panic attack when I was 33. Now I get them almost every night. When I described them to my sister, she said her boyfriend has the exact same kind of dreams (I dream I'm choking/dying), and he does have sleep apnea, very bad.

No, I don't have sleep apnea. However, my GAD does make it difficult to sleep often. This nightmare only occurs once or twice a year, though.

Thanks for asking:')

This is so amazing to read. I had nightmares as a child where I had to scoot around a bed while on my back, touching each part of it, and doing that while counting up to 800 or so. It was a terrible nightmare, I mean the feeling of it. Complete dread.

I later learned that I have OCD. Don't know if that's related.

I had a dream that sounds like this part you described:
I had a dream of a culmination of terrors, fear, and nauseating images and feelings. I can't even describe the visuals because they were so primal and visceral, flashing wildly across my vision. I just had an overwhelming sense of dread, fear, shame, terror. Ugh, it was awful.

I have had a similar experience about 4 times, it has something to do with numbers, it is almost impossible to remember and describe why I was terrified, I try to recall but maybe I think not getting a whole number then having a "direct injection of fear". I recall one time after a nightmare I ran downstairs and sat on the front lawn, completely conscience of what I was doing however scared out of my mind.

p.s. i'm 14

The only reason i made an account here was to reply,
I also have a dream like that.
It started when I was 8 or 9 years old. I was so scared and I thought I was still in the nightmare after I was awake, I even left the house and hid outside.
I cannot explain it well but at least I can share what I think I was feeling.
In this dream, first i feel my pinky or index finger or something small and very thin. Then something really big and and maybe round, like a being or a person or a blob i dont know is near me i dont know where exactly, then something is repeating i dont know what; and that thing is getting bigger and bigger and louder and im a nail as smal as a nail and that thing is getting bigger. I can remmember numbers but i dont know what they mean. I think that being is like a rock or something like that. Its mostly a felling not something physical. The being or the embodiment of fear just gets louder and bigger it also gets slower in all aspects I know its sound weird because it's not something physical but its true. It's not really a dream ive had this when I am almost fully conscious but its very hard to stop thinking about it and very difficult to try and recreate the dream. Im just glad im not the only one, thank you for letting me share this and anyone is welcome to message me. Thank you.