[vacantangel]

Went to another section and *was* going to reply one of the threads until I saw negative comments about me. Sure doesn't help build my self-esteem. I was tempted to reply the person but decided to sit on my hands this time.

[h0kie]

Way to be mature!

Are you sure it was about you? Did it mention you by name? I don't know about you but I always assume I am guilty when someone mentions something. For example (bear with me, I know I've told this story before), when I student taught my advisor gave us a lecture about girls wearing inappropriate clothes (too much cleavage or thongs showing). I spent hours checking all my "teacher clothes" to make sure they were appropriate. When I talked to my mom that evening, she laughed herself silly. She said I don't dress like that...never have. According to her, I've always been that way, I internalize things and take them personally.

The point of my rambling is this: 1.) Ignore the bad stuff (and yes, it is VERY hard to do that....I've gotten better at it, but sometimes it still gets to me too) and 2.) don't assume someone means you unless thay tell you specifically.

Take it with a grain of salt. And if they do mean you...refer to rule one. You're doing the best you can. We know that.

[LMo]

wait -- where were the negative comments? I didn't see any!

[vacantangel]

Yes, I do internalize things too much but this situation is extremely obvious without having to mention my name, the person didn't need to, everybody would know who they were talking about. I have to wonder why others who read the thread or even responded, didn't say anything. I then start to even question that.

[vacantangel]

It's in one of the kudos threads. I'd rather not say which one. It's obvious if you see it.

[nothemama8]

I must be blind I didn't see any negative thread about you sweetie, pm me
Angie

[Malady156]

Poor Angel Girl! In my opinion there are a few bad apples around here -- cliquey queen bee types who have to try to control what everyone else thinks about certain others they feel threatened by, and how those others get treated and whether those others are allowed to feel supported in this group. You are the better person by not sparring back -- I would probably not be able to control myself as well as you!! So use that to boost your self-esteem -- the fact that you demonstrated self-control under the most difficult conditions!

Mal

[Fuzzybear]

Someone took a swipe at me recently and I ignored it (no one on this thread)... It can be rough, ugh. Grrrrr
Shyt happens, ya know, and here is a good place to learn different ways of being

As for Queen Bees, I guess there are some here, or people who think they are, but compared to some boards these bees are quite friendly.... most of the time

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL I suppose I could take the "Queen Bee" comment personally, but I choose not to. But hey, even if I did, I know that I'm a loved Queen Bee.

[SeptemberMorn]

I seriously doubt that anyone "took a hit" at you, Angel Girl. Most people here are very careful to be kind to one another. Like someone said, if your name didn't appear in print, don't take it personally.

[SeptemberMorn]

I've been frequenting the Kudos section in the last few days myself because I blatently asked for hugs and I didn't see anything negative... especially there!

I'm with you, LMo.

[LMo]

Not to sound uncompassionate, but I just can't relate to letting ONE comment where I was not specifically named get me down. Maybe I'm just callous or something, but it's just not worth my emotional energy to worry about something that ONE person said that wasn't EXPLICITLY about me. I have enough major problems to focus on!

[nothemama8]

Hey I got an idea if we all do a count of those of us who support and like AG, maybe she'll believe that?
Angie

[LMo]

She already tried that, and many people commented that it was a bad idea to do that for someone so sensitive, because if some people DON'T respond, then the person gets upset that it means something negative.

[nothemama8]

Oh yeah I forgot, well if she can't see how much we care that makes me feel What can help?
Angie

[LMo]

My "prescription":

1) More therapy
2) A conscious commmitment to fighting the intrusive negative thoughts
3) Support from her friends
4) Personal achievements (becoming a runner, for example)

i'm going to take issue with the statement about the "queen bees".....i haven't seen that on this site and would be very interested in being directed to some posts that indicate "queenbeeish" behavior. i agree with the others, most of the people here are very loving and supportive. and if AG's name wasn't mentioned, it probably wasn't about her. there is a saying in Al-Anon that people don't think about us as frequently as we'd like to think that they do!! i was so shocked when i first heard that in a meeting.....cause i thought i was the center of quite a few worlds....well, as i've matured and listened more and kept my mouth shut, i've learned that i'm not really the center of very many universes!! i'd hate to think that a day could be ruined through our imagination........xoxo pat

[vacantangel]

I never claimed that I was the center of anybody's universe nor do I believe that I am. I agree that *most* people here are very loving and supportive. That particular post is definitely referring to me. I have reasons that I will not get into for my beliefs. You can of course choose to think differently.

[vacantangel]

Malady - Actually this was the first time that I used self-control and didn't respond. It's a step in the right direction for me.

Fuzzy - I'm sorry that somebody took a swipe at you, although I can't even imagine why anybody would want to. You're always so friendly and supportive. ((((((( fuzzy ))))))

[vacantangel]

As you said, "most" people. That leaves room for some.

[vacantangel]

I'm bowing out of this thread, next time I will keep my beliefs to myself (as they all applaud).

[LMo]

oh my god ANGEL!

NOBODY is saying that! You're being so sensitive! We've done nothing but support you and try to help you! I'm actually kind of offended and hurt that you are twisting everything around to imply that we want you to keep your beliefs to yourself and bow out of the thread!

Geez! Give yourself some credit for being likeable, and give us some credit for liking you!

[vacantangel]

I know nobody said it, it's how I feel. You're right, I am SENSITIVE, that's exactly why y'all are discussing the best way to help me. Maybe I'm too sensitive to even be here. I'm triggered so much by non-existant things.

I know some of you like me, I haven't denied that and I do know that some of you like me. It's hard for me to ignore the ones that don't. I'm sorry!!!

I don't know what else to say. I'm tired of being me, I'm tired of being 'triggered' so much. I'm tired of misinterpretting things. I'm tired of not getting any better. I'm tired of frustrating people who try to support me. I'm tired of being a royal pain in the ***. I'm just tired.

[vacantangel]

I'm really sorry. Once again I screwed up. I never meant to hurt or offend anybody.

AG, i can't figure out what you really want. if people try to support you, you shove them back....if we aren't paying attention, it upsets you.....you know that someone is referring to you in a negative way, yet no one else can see it in the writing. i just don't post to you because i know that we can get crossways and for me, it isn't worth it. i'd like to see a happier AG, but i'm not sure that's on the immediate horizon....hopefully you're on meds and i sure hope that you're seeing a therapist and discussing these feelings that you have with the therapist.
i wasn't referring to you, and i think you know that, in my post about being the center of the universe.....i was making a point and referring to myself, actually. you did give me the jump off point for the post but it wasn't about you. do you slow down enough to take the message out of our posts or do you just react as soon as you read them? i'd like to see you slow down, absorb what people say and then respond. there's a huge difference in "reacting" and "responding".....I'm afraid you are going to be upset by my post, but i simply had to say it. i don't know what else to do....