[mrb020377]

I have question that has been on my mind for awhile. ( my question is this:

When you see a woman waking down the mall or in the store and she is dressed a certain way, ( tight tee shirt, short shorts for example) do you automatically think to yourself ( or outloud) that she is a flirty? Do you judge the woman for the clothes she is wearing?

[Miss_A]

Clothes speak out for your self like a personalitly match. But the true real person is inside. So not really but I wouldn't try to get in the way. Hmm....

[LMo]

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mrb023077 said:
Do you judge the woman for the clothes she is wearing?

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Kinda, a bit I'll admit. I normally think that they are insecure, though, rather than flirty.

[Rapunzel]

Let's face it, when you choose what to wear you are sending a message about yourself. Clothes do project a certain image, and if the image one is projecting is not accurate, then I think they should change it. That is not to say that wearing any style of clothes makes it ok to treat anyone disrespectfully, but I also feel that it's unreasonable to wear a tight shirt and short shorts and expect people to not to think that it means anything. The same goes for a woman wearing a very conservative business suit. She chose to wear that, and people will probably think she is conservative. Yes, moods change, and we tend to change our clothes with our moods, so how you dress doesn't define who you are as an entire person, but I think it says something about you.

[mrb020377]

I agree. I find myself judging by the clothes someone wears. like today you would probably think i was a slob..... with my headache, i chose to wear blue jeans, a t-shirt- untucked, and tennis shoes...... hair pulled back in a loose pony tail.

Normally i wear jeans or capris( not often my legs are too white) and a shirt that is tucked and a belt. Not often do i wear a skirt, i feel to vunerable in a skirt.

Just looking for an opinon........ I have been trying to teach my daughter that people will judge you before they know you by the way you present yourself. If you dress like a sl** then you will be treated that way. I had to try to explain this to her as she didn't understand why I wouldnt buy her the skimpy shorts and shirts. I am trying to raise her to be confident in herself , and for her to realize that someone may be beautiful on the outside only to be horribly mean and ugly on the inside.
What I told her is, Its not what is on the outside that counts, it is who you are deep down that matters, Stylish clothes can only hide so much.... or most cases now adays they can only hide so little since they barely cover anything. lol

[(JD)]

Who needs to judge? The clothes say it all for us! imo

[cat_eye]

I admit that I do catch myself doing that, and I've been a lot better about that lately. My T pointed it out to me that I'm judgemental.

[h0kie]

First impressions are very important...after all, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. They are a part of our society. That doesn't make them right/wrong or ok/not ok.

I find myself making snap judgements about people.

I can still remember sitting in a classroom my freshman year of college with all the girls that were to be in my cohort. My new "friends" for the next four years. I saw a lot of snobby girls from NoVA. However, after about a month, I realized that all(or most) of my first impressions were wrong.

In fact, 90% of the time, my first impressions of someone are the exact opposite of how the relationship ends up. I guess what I am trying to say is I make the judgements, but I know that there is a good chance of me being wrong. I count on it!

I guess my answer is, Yes, I notice their clothes and make a judgement, but I don't let that judgement keep me from getting to know that person (IF, and only if, they reciprocate the interest in getting to know me).

[mrb020377]

first impressions are very important.
I learned in my psychology calss that it takes 100 good impression to make for the first bad impression. Not sure if i believe this or not. I am a very skeptical anyways!!! lol

[jmo531]

Hmmm. Not really. I do think that people dress the way they dress because it projects how they are feeling. I think its cool that people can express. I dress weird so I guess maybe that is why I dont.

I guess If I saw someone in a bra and underwear walking the streets I would think that is a little weird.

[(JD)]

...still thinking... perhaps because everyone expects us to dress the way we feel, it makes it that much easier to hide how we are feeling by dressing "appropriately?"

[mrb020377]

well I am a simple, plan luara ingalls gal!! ok maybe that was a little too much. BUt I don't wear makeup, I dont use any hairspray or gel in my hair. I don't curl my hair, Not that I don't want to, It wont!!!! If you are luck you will see me in shorts, otherwise it is jeans or dress pants!!!! hardly ever a dress or skirt!!
I guess my mood does effect how i dress more than I like to admit!!!! If i am feeling down or something, i am less likely to care how i look.

anyone else feel that way?

[SeptemberMorn]

Know what you mean, Mel. I haven't always been a Laura Ingalls kind of gal myself but I find that I am more and more, the simpler the better; the simpler, the easier.

I do take a bit more care with my appearance when I go out and even more so when I go out with my best friend. That's probably so that I'm not noticable because I dress down to her. I'm a T-shirt and pants kind of gal and she always wears blouses or a tank top and blouse. Her hair is always in perfect condition, every hair just in the right place. Mine tends to be more messy because I like it that way, but I still take more care on what the "mess" looks like. LOL Methinks my "dress" has changed because I'm more relaxed now with who I am. I'm not out to impress anyone or draw attention to myself.

There ARE some people out there than you can tell they're dressed the way they are just to draw attention. But like Sky said, we don't need to judge. The statement has already been made.

my book calls it comfort. i wear linen capris, linen tops and nice tee shirts , all the time. sandals or slides. i have to wear scrubs at work and you can't do much with those. it has to be comfortable, or i won't buy or wear it. my daughters are the same way. we wear comfortable, not skimpy, bathing suits and are fairly modest in that aspect of our lives. my hair is in a short bob and i wear a little makeup, occasionally. i lived in NM, long enough, to learn that you don't have to dress up, all that much. p

[seeker1950]

Summer is depressing for me re/clothing. I like to "cover up" most everything, and find my fiber creations, i.e., shawls woven or crocheted to be an expression of my creative personality. I've been wearing capris and tees to class all summer. It's ungodly hot here, humid and unbearable. I can't wait till cool weather returns so I can "express" myself, LOL!!!
Seeker

[LostandLonleySoul]

I am bad. I think that way and worse. I prolly do that because when i used to dress that way that was the type of person i was.

[Rapunzel]

Seeker, are you another fiber artist? I am too, and we have a few others around here. I have been knitting shawls. I finally made one for myself to keep. In the summer people blast the air conditioning, so I need a shawl to deal with that, at work, and at church - places like that. I'm never very cold-tolerant, and I think it's a crime that we have to dress warm indoors in the summer and dress cool indoors in the winter.

I don't mean to hijack - oops - if anyone wants to continue the conversation in this direction we can start a new thread or take it to PM.

Here, to get it back on track a little, how you dress is an opportunity to express your creativity, whether or not you make some of your own clothes. I get so many hand-me-downs that I rarely need to buy clothes, and still what I wear expresses my style. I've had people comment if I wore something that didn't "look like me." It was just a pair of pants and shirt that were very plain and had no pizzazz - too ordinary. And that was noticed and I was told that my usual style was preferred.

[Hope4me2]

I am ashamed to say I think that way and worse.....I dress modestly and when I see others dressed with hardly anything on...it makes me think bad things....
feeling guilty and VERY ashamed after reading what some of you stated....UGH

[Myzen]

Hi folks,

My partner and I were on the UK South Coast recently and went into town on a Saturday night. The kids (18-24?) were out on the town, and going from bar to bar. They were all dressed up for a big night and the girls seemed to be the wildest, drinking a lot and wearing almost nothing! They were all in groups and kind of hanging on to each other.

You know what I thought? I thought that these kids are definitely not depressed! They were having a great time and showing it, and I was just glad that kids can have such a good time and not seem to worry about anything.

My partner and I were real old fogeys in this company but we sat at a pavement bar and just watched them with amazement and pleasure. For me, the experience of being depressed just makes me want to see others have a good time, and I don't mind what they wear, as long as they get home safe.

Cheers, M

[(JD)]

What was the question?

[Myzen]

I think it was - "Do you judge a woman by the clothes they are wearing?"

In a roundabout way I was saying, "Wear what you like as long as it makes you happy, and you get home safe." I make great efforts to avoid judging anyone before I really know them.

Cheers, M

[(JD)]

lol omg! I'm getting old!

[CCadam]

I usually just try to not judge people by the clothes they are wearing. I think about it like this; I wear what I am comfortable wearing, alot of times it's a white t-shirt and jeans, but sometimes I'll wear polos w/ jeans or shorts. Sometimes Button down shirts with jeans, shorts, or slacks. If there is someone I want to get to know, I'll talk to them. If their attitude and personality are compatible with mine, then we can become friends. Sometimes it can go further. Your life experiences, morals, values, and emotions make you who you are, not your clothes, or your material (no pun intended) possesions.

It's kind of funny actually, Sometimes I'll go to a bar to look for women. With this reasoning. If they are hanging all over people or me, then they are probably not going to work out with me. I go to look for the responsible ones, the ones who have a beer or two, or what ever and can still be under control, and responsible.

[SeptemberMorn]

Well, CCadam, you seem to more "normal" in this situation than many other people. It's been my experience that clothes ARE an extension of how we feel about ourselves or what we want to put out to the public.

For example: I'm heavy set so when I'm out in public, I check out heavy set women to see what they are wearing; how they choose to or NOT hide their bulges so I'll get an idea of what I would like to try wearing myself.

There are three categories that I've come up with, the slob, the indifferent woman and one that really cares how she presents. The slob either wears something that simply covers her skin. Then the younger woman that wears low rise jeans and a short top with her gut rolls hanging out or she wears tight white pants that show panty lines and every single dimple there. This type could also be classified as "slutty" or "flirty." Then there's the decently dressed woman that hides her bulges with lose yet stylish clothing and cares about whether her purse and shoes match.

The make-up and jewelry also tell a story. If a "slob" (female) started a conversation with me, say at the mall, I'd give her polite answers, but I wouldn't try to be friendly or continue the conversation.

BUT... I can tell when a woman is dressed poorly because she doesn't have an option! In that instance, I'd be friendly.

[Eternal_Cat]

I think it depends on whether or not the clothes suit her. Sometimes women wear tops that expose the tummy, which is fine if you have a washboard stomach. But if you have a pot and you are dressed like this, you look very stupid and devoid of class.