What did you do right today? Part 2

Rode out a ridiculously long-lasting panic attack w/o meds.

Had breakfast that included protein.
Made my bed.
Ordered something on-lline that I really have been needing for a long time.
Watered my azalea plant.
Did dishes.
Spoke to a friend in need of support

Went to the grocery store (which I do not like to do and put off as long as possible).
Put in for 2 jobs that took some boldness.

Went to T
Had a hard talk with bf (I tend to put these off)

I started on a new way of beading jewelery which I had never tried before nor knew how to do-- and I am giving it a go and almost done with my first piece-- sometimes the little things are what make me smile and to learn a different way to do things

I have been walking almost everyday for an hour each day now. Doing very well.

Didn't stomp my feet or blow up at anyone at work today. (Wonder why my lip and tongue hurt right now)?

I kept most of the lights turned off in the apartment to save money on the power bills

I'm tempted to say nothing. That I didn't do anything right and never will. But I'll try this anyway...

I hugged my dog. lol.

i really did not want to go to therapy to day 0- not sure why but just did not- but i did and talked with her, and yeah about yada yada .... idk.

Instead of avoiding contact, as I have done in the past, I called back an employer about a missed interview and they gave me another interview for today!

Listened to the little voice that said, "Go look there. Now.". And found something I would never have expected to find and at a ridiculously cheap price(!)

Taught a private karate lesson for a new student.

Taught the advanced belt class later in the evening.

Got my 3rd (out of 3) stripe on my belt, making me ready for the next belt test, where I get my black belt uniform (though not black belt quite yet).

Didn't hurt myself (so far...)

At least questioned why all of this doesn't mean anything to me, instead of just assuming it doesn't.

Went to both Pdoc and T today, however didn't stay at T very long cause didn't want to let her see was upset after telling me the office is closing.

I went swimming with a hangover.

ok so technically in this day- I have stood up for myself at work- A Big Plus- I went totally by the book to explain my stuff-- and I talked with a co-worker (wink wink) that is at work and I will be pleasant when I go in for what I said has gotten through-
I drove home even though I was scared but I also called to let my supervisor know I would be leaving early due to the icy roads, she was cool with it- and that is another thing I am always scared to call her to ask if it is ok for me to leave, i did that today.
I came home, rumpaged around for I want to do projects here lately and remembered that my sister wanted a copy of our family photo and guess what this printer scans! I was impressed by it which I already wrote about. But I remembered to do this which was a request so long ago- I wrote a note; I just need envelope and stamps (this too for bills eek)
I worked on jewelery and made a really cool nice piece that is like for my "teenage" side and a really pretty piece that I could wear to work that is more adult like.
I thanked my boyfriend for him being with me and being part of my life and I dear gasp to say it on here- part of my therapy as people see it.
I thanked him for talking to me on silly matters, serious matters, and matters that just tick me off or make me laugh or just bother me.

This last thing that I did right was that I put a request for a refill for my meds (Per the lady at the county on her message she said it would be best to do it 7-5 days before running out and it would be best for the pharamacy to call- I guess they do no refills on all patients or something- cuz that is what my bottle says); so I figure since no refills, it would take a day or two just for that; then what ever extra time she needs to get it approved-- I am 8 days out- I hope this is not too soon.. and sorry if it is..
I think this drug has slightly made me (not full blown manic but hypomanic) I have been up since about 21:00 Last night, went to work and I have not felt tired at all though I try to lay in bed..

OH I wrote a lot in my journal as well on the so many flighty thoughts I was having on stuff about me, therapy and ptsd and *past* drug abuse of mine, and inner child and stuff like that-- i think that is a good thing right

I will finish my ginger ale, probably smoke a cig, and try to lay back down.... sleep come please and head stop wanting to do things- i want to do projects (beading, art, etc) or get stuff ready, which IDK what that is about...

today I have cleaned up the house, threw out really bad food in the fridge (my boyfriend is awful with not eating things and then leaving them there); doing laundry AND i folded the baskets of laundry that I had done earlier...-- I only got like 2 hours of sleep before going to work, then i got like 3 hours today in the mid morn, afternoon..... but it is ok-- I at least don't feel like a waste today. and work- I am not taking too seriously since no one else is right now and I am the target to be picked on even though I can justify my actions there.

I got my bills all ready to be taken to the mail box. I think I will start to take them to the post office though.

I talked with the lady about my meds, and was honest about not wanting to up the meds even though I am not sure if they are even doing anything for me- but I would give it a chance with some time, and will go from there- I am glad the lady was very nice and understanding even suggested if I did not feel any changes i could stop them or up them but to just LET them Know,. will do.

Talked to my boyfriend and told him what i was doing, I want to get the house and laundry done so we have the weekend together- And I am excited to go to his parents for dinner.. His mom is lonely; I think I will make her a piece of jewelery.

And other news- I have tried to just be more like the floating leaf that everyone wants me to be with some things--- It is difficult but trying to manage that.

Be well all!

Turned in my time sheets at work.
Got a prescription filled.

I wrote my letter to my T-- Now all I need to do is print it out, and take it with me on the 30th... Geez I should had taken the Tuesday appt that she offered that was prior to the 30th. but it will be ok. It is an issue that I think I may be working on for all my life, and i neglected to talk to T about it last session... I hope I don't forget.

I did my laundry today, swept the hallway and my bedroom, collected garbage, am baking bread, and tidying up around the livingroom soon.

I calmed down from how upset I felt yesterday.

I bought food this week so I wouldn't have to depend on delivery over the weekend like I do too often and I am cooking right now yay for me and keeping the kitchen clean enough to do so.

I tidied the remainder of the livingroom and diningroom, and clean the bathroom. I am now working daily on getting my linoleum floor whiter and brighter again.

I finally, FINALLY!!!! cleaned this room. Seeing the results, I just have to ask why I kept procrastinating for so many months. Getting rid of the clutter is so freeing.

I got out of bed.