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I feel very nervous every time I want to post here... when I do, I read it over and over, checking for mistakes... I'm terrified of being judged, even though I know the people here are caring and non-judgmental people... I've always thought, to some degree, that I was pretty good at spelling/writing... so I don't get why I'm so afraid. Is my self-esteem so horrible that the thought of disapproval from a handful of strangers on the internet will cause me to feel worthless?
What's wrong with me? I've never been abused or anything. I come from a normal, middle class family. How did I get this way?
I feel like I should apologize for posting this... but I won't, because this is a place where I can talk about my problems without being judged...
Thank you for reading this.

I did not mean to post this with that title... my ****ing hand slipped.
Oh well.
I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

keep posting....don't overthink it...it should get easier. hang in there!

Monkey
I used to obsess over spelling and punctuation, too. But really, the most important thing is what's in your heart. I've seen people with no clue what a comma is for say things that blew me away anyway. All the other stuff is just mechanics, which can be fixed later. Just say what you really feel and you'll be fine.

It's kind of cool that your hand slipped while you were typing. That's the most eye-catching title I've seen so far!

The logical part of my brain knows that, and it drives me crazy that my emotional side has so much control over me.
My stupid emotional side has a big role in the C- I'm currently getting in English...

I have to admit I'm not always that good at reining in my emotions myself, socks. I think it takes practice, becoming more self-aware and accepting what you're feeling, getting comfortable with it even if it's uncomfortable at first. I tested out as having volatile emotions on one of the tests on this site, so hopefully I can relate.

Take care,
HS

ive been a member for 3 days now and i felt weird too when i first posted but now i feel like ive been doing it for years lol. let ur guard down b you. people are always holding back because theyre afraid what others might think or if theyll judge you. dnt let that hold u back in life if ur happy with who u are dont b afraid do show it or change for anyone.

people will judge you no matter how much u try to please them unfortunatly that is todays society. enjoy life n dont hold back

Thanks for the kind words. I'm working towards becoming less self-conscious and more logical, but it's hard. My ADD doesn't exactly help either. I think, "No, this is too painful... go play video games instead."
The thing is, a lot of my insecurity is stupid. I was never considered good at math, but at the moment it's my best class. Part of the reason I do badly in English is that I'm terrified of what the teacher will think when she reads my writing. I suppose because writing is important to me, the idea of not doing well hurts more than forgetting how to divide integers. But I KNOW I'm a good writer, at least for my age. I hate how my emotions get in the way. I'm sorry for ranting, but...

Well...I only just ran across this thread,and the momma part of me finds you sweet and endearing.There will always be ppl who agree w/ or support and those who don't...but....you have a right to your feelings/thoughts/opinions....and you also have the right to change them.Just remember that all of us posting face the same risks or benefits when we roll the dice and post.Heck,I have seen me and others post some stuff that made me want to hide under the covers....and even if the moment sucked...we came back most don't keep score.Just try.You'll be ok hon.