Bikini/swimwear?

This sounds super lame but I'm not comfortable in swimsuits, especially 2 pieces. I literally hadn't started puberty the last time I wore swimwear of any kind. I'm not overweight but I am what you'd call "skinny-fat". I don't have a flat stomach or much muscle content, which I'm working on. I just don't feel terribly comfortable with my body unless I reach a threshold of what I consider an acceptable figure. My figure is okay in regular clothes because I know how to flatter myself. I'm usually modest..no cleavage, knee length skirts or longer, shoulders covered. I don't dress like a Duggar but I'm covered...swimwear is just so small and clingy.

Even if I were more comfortable with my figure, I'm not used to showing that much skin. I'm dating someone and I would like to engage in recreation that involves water with him (going to the beach, pools, etc). I don't want to engage in pre-marital sex so I don't know how I feel about being that revealing. I don't want to cause him to think of me "that way" and have nothing come of it. I have a difficult time believing that guys don't think lustful thoughts of girls they are dating and already attracted to (for some reason cause I don't think I'm all that pretty) prancing around practically naked. I haven't told him this would bother me so his response of "oh it's okay you would look hot in a bikini" just makes it worse. So great, now I'm not fat, I'm a lusty temptress. That's worse.

I don't want to be a hinderance on his life and being around water is something I know I would enjoy. I also don't want him to think I'm the typical insecure girl always complaining about herself. I try to keep a stiff upper lip about my insecurities around him because it shouldn't be his problem. How do you get used to the idea of walking around being that skimpy? Even covered swimsuits are very revealing, plus I still want to look flattering and feminine. I think vintage high waisted suits are pretty and a little more modest but that's still not a lot of fabric for me. I just feel like there's not a lot of middle ground here. Should I get over it and just get a string bikini :/

Bikinis look like underwear to me. No matter how "perfect" my body was, I wouldn't wear one. I think it's best to go for comfort - your own goals - so you can be comfortable.

Oh my it's so refreshing to see someone say this! Even some of my friends who are normally adverse to showing lots of skin seem to think it's alright to be in revealing swimsuits. So much pressure

It's all right for them, and it's basically socially acceptable. But we don't have to bend ourselves to every norm or average. I hope you get your fun in the sun.

I'd just do I felt comfortable with, but just be confident in your decision...guys like girls with confidence. Best of luck!

I like the idea to go with a vintage style swimsuit. Personally, I feel that they are more flattering in some ways, and if it makes you feel more comfortable, then go for it!
Also, I like to wear a sarong at the beach, and I'm sure you could find something like a skirt to wear into the water. If you feel uncomfortable with your body, that's something you have to learn to work through. If it's your boyfriend you are worried about though, you can't control his thoughts and feelings, but you can wear a one piece which covers a little more to make yourself feel better. The imagination is a powerful thing, so it may not matter how much you have on to you boyfriend...
If you want to wear a bikini, wear a bikini! I often feel the same about my body, as I am not fat, but I am not fit/toned, and have a bit of a belly. When I feel bad about my body, I wear my flattering one piece. But sometimes, I say whatever and just let it all hang out! Who cares what others think? Yours are the only thoughts you can control.

Be true to yourself. Your boyfriend needs to love you for who you are, not for who he wants you to be.

Oh goodness, I'm doomed! j/k lol Thanks for commenting

OMG.

Google "modest swimsuits", "vintage swimsuits", "swimsuits with skirts", "beach coverups" and "sarongs".

Then, search for all of those terms on Amazon as well, and possibly on Zappos.

Then, select what you like, compare the prices and find out about the return policy.

It is 2014, my goodness - anything that you can possibly think of is offered for sale by someone, and things you cannot possibly think of are also offered for sale.

Another option is ETSY and there you can custom-order by giving a seamstress your measurements.

This is all according to your stated preference for the feminine style.

Another option altogether is a surfer's style - a rashguard which is basically a long, long-sleeved shirt plus shorts.

The surfer's style has its advantage in terms of summer safety - usually these things are made from UPF materials (UPF in a fabric is like SPF in sunscreen).
With swimsuits, it may or may not be the case - you have to check carefully.

Another GREAT option that is BOTH feminine AND summer-safe is ordering from a company called Coolibar which was recommended by my dermatologist.

Take a look: a maxi white skirt that would look casual and chic and not reveal your internal insecurity:

Maxi Skirt: Sun Protective Clothing - Coolibar

And this is a compromise - naked shoulders but the rest is covered.

Pareo Cover Up: Sun Protective Clothing - Coolibar

Note that if you wear a bikini, you would not look like a temptress - you would look like an insecure girl who feels awkward wearing a bikini. The opposite of a temptress.

Hey, if you are not that comfortable in your swimsuits like 2 piece or any, then you can add a kaftan which will not only cover up your body but also make you look super stylish. kaftans looks fabulous and the best part of it is that, it fits all body shape and sizes. Go for the camilla kaftans online and flaunt away.

Hi dear,
I understand your problem. Many a people face problems wearing a bikini as they are not comfortable with exposing much of their skin. But nowadays there are options with which you can comfortably wear a bikini and not expose much skin. Beach cover ups are a great invention is the swimwear industry which gives you the freedom of wearing a bikini without feeling uncomfortable. Beach cover ups like kaftans, tunics, sarongs makes you look really stylish!

I know that this can sound pretty awful, but I have found it makes a difference as to what time you go to the pool. If you go at 7.00am in the morning (where I live anyway) then everyone is super-fit and they are swimming before work. If you go at 10.00am, there are lots of other women who have just had kids and their bodies are more realistic.

Mrs. Webgoji will never wear a bikini.

Which is probably a good thing because I would be like ...


They'd be cleaning that pool for weeks!

I actually think that you've thought it through so much that you might think about getting a ton of bikinis. Like 15 or so, expensive, but it's actually a very big choice if you're ready to choose whether or not you'd like to keep a situation in which they are considered a necessity.

Have you tried board shorts or swim trunks and a surf shirt? Those should be comfortable to swim in and still give a lot of coverage.
Hope this helps and good luck! What ever you feel comfortable with!

What should women check out before buying any type of swimsuit?
Does it support well? Is it comfortable? Does it make my back look as good as the front?
If the thin girls have enough confidence then she can wear pretty much anything like bikinis n all this kind of stuff.