I don't know how to be myself

What the title says. I don't know how to be myself. I've come to realize that every bit of my personality is a copy of someone else's. Whenever I see someone I admire I want to be like them. I want to be /them/. So I start acting, dressing myself and behaving like them. I feel like I have a hundred different personalities and I can't seem to find my own, it got buried under all this. And to be honest, I don't even know I /want/ to find it. Peaking under all the layers of acquired personalities, I don't see anything I like, anything worthy or special. I don't even know where I'm getting to here, I'm just so lost. I've tried being myself before, tried letting go of all the self loathing but then I see someone who's so much better than I am, so much more accomplished at everything that being myself doesn't seem enough because it it's clearly not taking me anywhere.

I don't know.

Rant over.

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seeminglyreal, It's no wonder any of us knows how to be ourselves given the pressures put on us by society to be one way one day and another way the next day. It definitely makes it difficult to know ones self. You may just want to do some research in this forum: Personality Place - Forums at Psych Central (not to say you have an actual personality disorder listed in this forum, but someone may have some helpful advice to offer.) Best wishes!!

Wow I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I also don't know who I actually am. I just know that I am a failure in so mny ways and that I can't carry on with this. SO I tried to reinvent myself and to look for people I can see as rolemodels. But it has ended in me just trying to imitate those people (even if I actually fail at this, too). But I really WANT to be like these people by now because it is just so much better than being the failure that I truly am... There's no day where I wake up and not wish to be someone else.
But this also results in not knowing what I actually am good at (if something like this exists at all) because all my rolemodels are good at things I am bad at...

I have felt like that. My problem is that I can't interact with others positively as myself, so I've had to "borrow" a persona to be friendly, generous, etc. Although lately I've been more accepting of myself, which comes with a penalty of feeling like a jerk, but at the same time I disappoint other people less when my real self seeps through the cracks.

Wow, I just found this thread thinking this is exactly how I feel until I realized I wrote this. I still feel this way, two years later, and have found no healthy ways to cope or who "myself" is. Everything I do, even if under the disguise of "this is who I am", actually doesn't feel like myself at all, rather another way to try and be accepted.

This is exactly how I feel. Come to think of it, I think this is why I'm so inconsistent. I'm always trying to be somebody else. And if I fail at being like them, I'll go search for my next "inspiration". It's exhausting, really. It is easier letting go of all that, but being left with only me, no disguises, really disgusts me. I'm not nice or interesting at all.

I feel you. I usually try to mimick the other person's behavior, or behave in a way I believe they would approve and like. I have a different persona that changes depending on who I'm with.
I ****ing hate myself.

Hey seeminglyreal
I also didn't find a solution yet. Although it is kind of a relief that I am not the only one who feels this way, it still does not change the situation and the way I'm feeling.
Do you know if you have any mental health concerns that would explain this personality/identity issue?
Regarding myself, I do not know about anything, as I have not been evaluated by a professional.
But do you also feel like you kind of knew how to be yourself when you where younger? With me it's like I didn't have these issues 7 years ago.
Also, recently, I kind of fail at everything I attempt to do. Even at things that I have been very good at all my life. This makes me feel even more like I don't know how to be myself anymore.
I wish I could get back to my younger self which apparently knew better who she was than me now.
I wish I could give you an advice but I am clueless for my part, too.
And I wish I could tell you not to hate yourself. But what can I say? I hate myself too after all and I know that it doesn't help if someone tells you not to.
But what I CAN say is that the main reason I hate myself is that I am such a failure right now in everything I attempt. Not so much because I don't know how to be myself. You're not doing any harm to somebody by not knowing how to be yourself.
You may be an inconsistent person. But you're not a bad person.

You sound like me. Best of luck.

Good luck to all in this thread

I lost me somewhere too & have no idea who me is anymore. It's a lonely place to be. Hugs to you all.