Perfect People

Oh dear God this got long.

So I woke up at 3am and my mind decided to throw some memories at me for a few hours while I tried to fall back asleep. I'm going to see if I can articulate this decently, so it doesn't sound like I'm obsessing over one person, because I'm really not, I get set off by anything similar...

So I frequent a few other sites with a lot of intelligent people - some outright geniuses. Well, there's one person I found who I'm pretty sure is perfect...and I guess I'm trying to figure out what to do, knowing (feeling?) that such a person existing just seems to make my own existence worthless.

I wrote about this person here, in another vent thread (thankfully, this one should be less hysterical since I did fall back asleep and that seemed to calm me down). I've also seen enough of this person's posts throughout the site to know a good bit about her. Creepy as it might sound, I'm writing most of this from memory. Incoming wall of text.

First, she has Asperger's Syndrome, and all the intellectual perks that come with that. She was extraordinarily gifted as a child, regularly sent out of the class to the library since there was nothing for her there, and effectively banned form playing trivia games since she always won. She's a certified genius and a "visual-spacial savant": she worked her way through college at 15 and is now "hated in several professional fields" because she's so brilliant and competent she regularly makes the experts looks bad. In fact, she's regularly asked not to talk about herself in general company because she makes people feel inferior. She's had a few different jobs and been indispensable at all of them, sometimes single-handedly replacing entire teams and doing a better job alone than the group ever could. She as a professor for a while but quit because she found her students so unbearably stupid. Things like dating and making friends is difficult because she's always correcting people and bluntly pointing out their faults, and since people are offended by the truth, only want validation and can't handle negative emotion (an explanation she gave to some of the claims in the thread I linked) she's usually alone. In addition to being a technical genius, she's apparently talented in design (she makes her own clothes to accommodate sensory issues, and claims to be better dressed than most people), cooking (posts food porn on occasion), and is practically spiritually enlightened after practicing Zen for 15 years. Throw in a strict kind of "Stop whining and work" attitude towards and disgust at those who don't grow up, again, we basically have a mental powerhouse here. This person's only apparent faults are a lack of compassion/kindness, which again, she explains that it isn't her job to cater to people's hypersensitive egos and follow their illogical social rules.

So she's basically perfect, which means I damn well better listen when she says something like this (actual quote I remembered and dug up)

I've had people tell me I should write. I would love to write, but it seems every time I sit down to, whatever ideas I had seem to evaporate. I do know that said story ideas would likely involve some degree of angst and emotion and insecurity in the characters (and as to the idiocy of it...well, I'm a living embodiment of that). And with me it has nothing to do with marketing, but expression.

The entire point as what I could remember of this quote was wondering if I should even bother, since I'll probably be no good (the vast majority of authors write poorly and aren't engaging, what makes me think I'm any different?). And of course, there's the shame in my own literary tastes (I like some of the classics, and plenty of modern novels. It seems that anything I like, media-wise, actually intelligent people can't stand); I probably only find what I like engaging because I'm too stupid to know otherwise. If I wrote and it was a success, it would probably just be because I attracted the lowest common denominator.

And this is more than some random person on the internet. Take a look at this person's accomplishments.

So I'm sitting here, wondering if I should give up, if I should even bother trying, with writing or anything else. I'm almost ashamed to feel much now that I have this in my head, since I can just see this kind of person being totally disgusted by my inner psychodrama where I'm so special and my feelings so important. I'm not even sure what I want from this thread, other than to see what outsiders think, and wondering what I should do, mentally. I kind of wanted to just put on some blinders, pretend this person and others like her don't exist, and do whatever I want, but something in the lack of integrity there bothers me.

Great post my friend!!!!!!!!!!

She reminds me of that guy in high school that was in AP/college prep classes who would constantly talk about how they thought English literature was "insipid" and "jejune," and would say "I'm not like other kids my age. I have a genius IQ and I have won the state science fair three times. I have also already read Nietzsche and find him to be amazing! Socrates was okay, but this is why he's wrong..."

Where was this guy sitting at lunch? Oh, yeah, by himself with his fedora in the corner.

The truth is, without proper social skills, intelligence will only get you so far. Why should you listen to her opinion on everything and take it as the "truth" of the matter? Because she boasts about herself online? Oh, please...

I was you around this time last year. I would take online IQ tests, along with Myer Briggs tests in a way so that my answers would result in one of the "intelligent" types, and I would Google "How do I increase my IQ," "How do I become smarter," "How do I boost my intelligence?" I would get jealous of people just like her online, which would only end in extreme disappointment in myself. How are people so smart? Why can't I be just like them?

Well, the truth is that I couldn't be my own person if I was in a state of constant jealousy. I'll just go out and do my own thing. People will be better than I am, and that's okay. There's somebody out there with more intelligence and a better understanding of productivity than she has.

Hopefully this idiot didn't just waste your time. Maybe since she's so intelligent you can ask her why you are comparing yourself to her, and how are you going to overcome this feeling of inferiority?

Hello,

First, are you sure that this person is as "perfect" as she wants others to believe she is?

You know, people will tell lies to your face, but on the Internet that's even worse.

Based on what you described about her, I think that she's doing nothing but regurgitating her own rants and attempting to get a reaction from somebody. And you seem to have fallen for her rhetoric.

Second, I also think you should write.

I am writing too and I have the same problem as you: the ideas just go away as I get sidetracked by things going on around me.

What I do is to write whatever is on my mind, whatever it is, and not worry about any of that making any sense. I'll piece it all together later. The important thing is to get it started, finishing it should be of no concern.

I wish you all the best!

Scientia, wow... can i ever relate! My spouse flipped out on me this year and left. She is a genius, designed aircrafts for Aerospace Nasa. She is a scientist and a lot of other things. She was so brilliant she found fault with everything including me after a while. She knows all about microbiology and estralbiology. She can photographic memory, instant recall, and can do calculus in her head. She is a brilliant genius like the world has not seen, and she flipped out. She is in crisis right now but decided she no longer wanted to be married. Yes, there are people like this in the world. I learned an awful lot from her. I also learned that i am happy being a humble, mediocre not so smart a person as her. I love people and one needs patience and humility to be with them and understand them. When i stopped comparing myself to others i just learn to accept them as they are. Brilliant people are the most loneliest ones in the world and they need our pity and love more than anyone for few understand them, accept them due to envy. And they have few they can relate to. blessings

Hello.

I mentioned in a recent post to you that there are more important things than intelligence. I'm fairly certain that you don't believe it, but it is true.

I am being tested in January. They'll discover that I am on the autism spectrum as well.

Again, an obvious and overzealous jealousy toward intelligence. I too am a certified genius. Full academic scholarship to Philips Exeter *look that one up and be amazed* Although I didn't make it to college till I was sixteen. *hangs head in shame*

Full stop. Look, as BuildABridge correctly points out, people can say anything on the internet. Including me - so don't take what I say at face value, think about it and if it makes sense - then believe it.

I have made significant contributions in a number of fields as well, including but not limited to hydroponics, optics, encryption, and heck, I just realized how long this list is going to get so let me stop right there. My point is, I am not hated in any of those fields. It's about understanding people and how they operate - and not talking down to them. And you know why I don't talk down to them? Because I'm not better than them. I may be smarter, but I sure as **** aren'y better. Sort of like this person may be skinnier than me but they aren't better.

What is it that ever single person in the world wants? It isn't money; it isn't sex; it isn't intelligence. Think about it - what it is that you want more than anything in the world? If people are honest, they'll realize that the one thing they want more than anything in the world is to be happy. Now it is true that some people think that a billion dollars, or irresistible sex appeal, or another hundred IQ points will give them happiness, but that's what their after. It's what your friend is after too, but for all her intelligence, she's not smart enough to figure out how to be happy.

People can feel inferior all by themselves; secure people don't allow some pompous *** to bring those feelings out in themselves - and no one MAKES you feel anything.

Unless every single one of those companies folded up and went bankrupt after she left, she was not indispensable.

You teach people from where they are, not where you want them to be. I've taught as well. It's imminently more satisfying to find a way to bridge the gap between one hundred IQ points than it is to teach someone who is sufficiently intelligent to have taught themselves out of the textbook. It sounds much more likely that she is unbearably intolerant.

We've spoken in the spirituality forum before. What I didn't say there that I'll say here is that my spiritual beliefs have borrowed from many traditions. Among the more heavily borrowed from are Buddhism, Taoism, Huna, and psychology. In fact, when I'm forced to check a box, I check Buddhist. So let me give you a line from another pretty intelligent guy - the Buddha.

One might argue about whether or not she chose the right time, and we'll assume that she is always right and give her 'truth'. Can even she make the argument that what she says is spoken affectionately, or that it is beneficial, or with a mind of good will? And let me suggest that true or not, it is not beneficial if the person can't hear you - even if it is through a fault of their own.

There is nothing in your description of her that speaks of spiritual enlightenment. You'd be surprised at the folks I met in thirty-seven years of practicing Buddhism and they all have certain qualities in common. She's missing all of them.

It is mildly entertaining to hear her talk about ego, and immeasurably sad.

You are entitled to your own definition of perfect, but objectively, this isn't it.

What on earth is the point of writing the most perfect book ever if no one reads it? What if you wrote a book that explained perfectly how everyone who read your book could achieve everlasting happiness - but no one could understand it? A book is worthless if it can't connect with the reader.

I encourage you to write.

Take a look at this person's shortcomings.

There are two ways to lift oneself. One is by stepping on others. Lifting oneself at the expense of others is not greatness.

No one is perfect. Take her off the pedestal. And, accomplishments are fleeting. A site that I subscribe to has a very nice blog that might provide thoughts to embrace. I've provided a link below.

Stop Comparing Your Life. Start Living It.

Since I'm checking in on this thread, and we've talked, I might as well reply to this.

This "overzealous jealousy toward intelligence", is a lifelong thing. I remember as a child being furious when I was recognized for kindness rather than academics, terribly envious of my friends who were in gifted classes, and reluctant to associate with anyone I suspected was smarter than I am, figuring they'd look down on me. I think the internet has actually made it worse - just a couple years ago I recall reading accounts of childhood giftedness on Quora and eventually breaking down in tears thinking what a useless failure I am by comparison. I mean, I went to college at 17 and dropped out because I was failing everything.

I'm pretty average, regardless of what old tests may have said: neurotypical as they come (did the aspie test twice, came out less than 50% AS traits both times), IQ barely over 100 (according to an online matrices test), but crappy schools duped me badly into thinking I'm intelligent. Also I worry sometimes that just being a pretty feelsy person puts me at a disadvantage. I'm into personality stuff and I sometimes can't shake the impression that logical-minded, object-oriented people are more evolved than limbic, values-driven people, since any animal can feel but logic and reason are what separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom (unless the counterarguments that it's actually things like consciousness and self-awareness that distinguishes us are valid, then there's just the issue of logical people being more useful/valuable). If that's true it seems like another strike against me, another reason to worry.

But yes, putting intelligence on a pedestal is something I've been doing for as long as I can remember. To think that intelligence isn't important is hard to get my head around. How isn't it important?

To reply to a few of your other points: this person prides herself on her bluntness and claims some other people love her for it too. Unless it damages their ego, presumably the reason she's hated in some circles. The spiritual enlightenment comes from some comments about how people create their own hell by wanting too much, and dismissal of things like insecurity. These days I think I'm more scared/in awe of people like this than envious of them, I know I could never have that personality. I just want that kind of success and self-assurance, I think. And I might as well add this person is hardly my friend: rather some random person I keep running into on the forum. There are a few people like that; we've never even spoken.

Cool, cause I rather like you.

Please feel the sincerity in what I'm about to say...

My three greatest accomplishments in life are far and away:

1. My wife loves me and believes I am the best man she's ever met.
2. My father loves and respects me.
3. My children love me and look up to me.

There is nothing else. I have everything worth having.

Please figure out a way I can get this book to you. It's in pre-publication, it's got a few more edits to go - but without knowing it, I wrote it for you.

The most important thing in the world is love. Now that's my opinion, but it's shared with some pretty lofty, and dare I say, intelligent individuals.

She is an outcast; simultaneously hating people and being hated by them. There may be the odd duckling that 'loves her for her bluntness' but I'm quite certain she has nothing but contempt for them and keeps them around because they're all she has.

In your spiritual explorations thus far, I'll wager you've come to understand or at least believe that we are all connected in some way. She bristles at connection and pushes people away.

Here's a little excerpt:

Assuming she is being truthful (and this being the internet that is a big assumption), you only have her perspective on events. I think the internet is a brilliant resource, but we should always take unverified personal writings with a good pinch of salt.

As for your dismissal of your own kindness, would you dismiss others for their kindness? Do you reserve this harsh judgement for yourself? If so reading up on self compassion may help:

Self-Compassion