[twistypringle98]

I'm having some trouble with setting goals for myself. I want to do things this year that I know will help me out but find that I lack the courage to do them. I already told myself that I would do two things each month over the course of the year but things just haven't come my way. (Finding a job and doing the job correctly all the time were my two goals for January).

Whenever I go to job sites or just explore town for some spots to apply at, I get eager for responses that never come. I lost my job after I was the best one doing it! I know that I got fired for my diagnosis coming through my facade of what I wanted to act like all the time - and a bit of whispering .

I'm thinking about switching up my project for something that is something like move from one activity that I'd like to participate in to the next while in some way doing them all. I realized the other day that I really only had things on my list things about activities.


I post this in this thread because I've been harsh on myself and my sister in the past. I used to blame my sister for my disorder suddenly showing up in the short amount of time that I lived with her but now I realize that I was just too much of a chicken to say no and stand up for myself when she would have said we were bonding or something like, "You need to get with the times, Rebecca! You're not a Baby Boomer!" (She is so hateful sometimes it's ridiculous). We drank together and smoked cigarettes and pot which was the first time that I had tried any of those things. I still smoke a vape with nicotine in it though. I still sort of blame her influence on why I fell so hard into schizoaffective disorder from what my doctor told me.



Anyway this whole year to me is about saying yes and no to things using common sense like in that movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey in it.

Hey TwistyPringle. It sounds like you are struggling with some things right now.

Are you in therapy or getting any other kind of support? For me, having people (even just within a mental health organization) helping me, has meant the world and got me on my feet.

Be kind to yourself.

Today, I got a massage. I was so excited for it. And it was nice. So I don't know why I feel disappointed. I think I am starving for emotional intimacy. Today I really felt like.....I didn't measure up. I don't know why. I'm being kind to myself now though. I got some food and a piece of cake from a nearby cafe, and I got a book from the library. I don't know WHAT my deal is. I am really hungry for something, emotionally. Sometimes its like I can't get enough. But I am going to sit down now and journal. Then, maybe I will go snowshoeing.

Hey Twisty that is really rough getting fired from a job you were good at, these things can knock our confidence. Sounds like you are doing all you can to get a job, you can't influence employers not responding - and January is a tough time for seeking work, definitely a case for some self-compassion!

Starry, I admire how you are listening to your emotions and working out strategies such a journaling to help - and snowshoeing sounds interesting!

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Hey Twisty that is really rough getting fired from a job you were good at, these things can knock our confidence. Sounds like you are doing all you can to get a job, you can't influence employers not responding - and January is a tough time for seeking work, definitely a case for some self-compassion!

Starry, I admire how you are listening to your emotions and working out strategies such a journaling to help - and snowshoeing sounds interesting!

Thanks Prefabulous (really, just Fabulous). Its good to see you here.

[88Butterfly88]

Hi,

I'm going to join this thread. I'll start by answering one of the questions. How were you kind to yourself today? I gave myself a break when I needed one and told myself I am a good person.

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Hi,

I'm going to join this thread. I'll start by answering one of the questions. How were you kind to yourself today? I gave myself a break when I needed one and told myself I am a good person.

Glad to have you here Butterfly!!

[88Butterfly88]

Originally Posted by starrysky

Glad to have you here Butterfly!!

Thank you, it's good to be here.

Drinking red raspberry tea. Hanging out in my PJs after a long walk. Its nice and quiet here this afternoon.

Thought: I think pressure, like pressuring yourself (to hurry up, to change, to figure things out when you don't know the answer yet, etc) can be a form of self criticism. It is for me. Currently, I have been stressing over my future and trying to figure out and decide what career I want. I think that problem solving and gentle nudging forward is one thing. That is self compassion. But pressuring myself to hurry up, is not.

This article has been helpful to me before, and still is. I may have even posted it in the past. It's about how to make empowering decisions: HuffPost Article

[twistypringle98]

After a night of no sleeping but checking on the internet for jobs, I have two interviews tomorrow! I don't know how that happened to me when I feel like all these jobs I was seeing were too much or had to be done by someone more qualified than me.

A leasing agent and retail sales associate job, I've got coming my way.

Originally Posted by twistypringle98

After a night of no sleeping but checking on the internet for jobs, I have two interviews tomorrow! I don't know how that happened to me when I feel like all these jobs I was seeing were too much or had to be done by someone more qualified than me.

A leasing agent and retail sales associate job, I've got coming my way.

Wow, that's awesome! Best of luck on your interviews! I hope you land something. (I hope you get some rest too.) What kind of jobs are they?

I'm excited for you, Twisty. Best of luck!

[88Butterfly88]

Starry- Red raspberry tea, yum! Thanks for the article.

Twisty- Good luck at the interviews and hope you get some sleep soon.

[twistypringle98]

I aced them. I wrote a cover letter for both and feel like it is just up to other people beating me. I wasn't nervous during the interviews, and the people at the retail shop told me that I pretty much was really good for the questions they asked me.

I looked really good and felt really good. I got my hair cut and colored reddish so maybe that was why I felt so confident!


They were for a leasing agent for an apartment complex and a sales associate for The Children's Place.

[88Butterfly88]

Good job Twisty!

[twistypringle98]

I didn't get the job, but I've found many other jobs that I'm qualified for to apply to. As strange as it seems, one of my favorite past-times is looking for jobs. I've been doing a lot of it recently and find that it is fun to me. I don't know why I feel this way but whatever, right? At least I feel like I'm having fun!

I talked to my doctor about changing my meds a while ago, and she did, and I feel completely better. No more delusions. Fewer overtoned voices. Nothing new. I'm sticking with my goals mostly this year while 80 something percent of resolutions are abandoned by this time. I'm generally feeling much better.

[Kibou]

How were you compassionate with yourself today ? Hmm good I think ? I did a mistake yesterday but I've forgiven myself ;;

What can you be gentler on yourself with? I want to stop feelign bad about my body/appearance and accept myself as I am u-u

What are your strengths? I'm a lot creative, optimistic, courageous, kind and persistent //

Why are you awesome? because I'm not afraid of dreaming big and carrying projects, I'm always hopeful even when it's hard to, I'm a hard-worker and i do my best to help people.. I think

How were you kind to yourself today? I stopped putting myself down for a mistake I did yesterday-

How did you love yourself today? Done some meditation & relaxation yay-

How can you make things easier for yourself today? Idk

[Mountaindewed]

I need to be gentler with how I look.

I still feel really fat, and I consider myself one of the plus size people at work. I feel like people know I’m fat.

The thing is, I’m probably just average. I wear a size 8-10 and a small/medium in shirts.

I feel like my butt is huge. It’s flat but big.

I just need to listen to my mom and my doctor who say I look great. It doesn’t matter what I look like without clothes on. Because no ones going to see me without my clothes on.

[88Butterfly88]

How were you compassionate with yourself today? I took some time to relax.
What can you be gentler on yourself with? I should stop blaming myself for things out of my control.
What are your strengths? I am caring, I am tech savvy, and intelligent.
Why are you awesome? I'm awesome because I'm funny and donate to charity and help others when I can.
How were you kind to yourself today? I asked my care manager for resources.
How did you love yourself today? I treated myself to some chocolate.
How can you make things easier for yourself today? I can stop putting myself down.

Originally Posted by Bozdickens

I need to be gentler with how I look.

I still feel really fat, and I consider myself one of the plus size people at work. I feel like people know I’m fat.

The thing is, I’m probably just average. I wear a size 8-10 and a small/medium in shirts.

I feel like my butt is huge. It’s flat but big.

I just need to listen to my mom and my doctor who say I look great. It doesn’t matter what I look like without clothes on. Because no ones going to see me without my clothes on.

Hi Boz! I think its great you recognize you need to be gentler with how you look. I think society and the media really play a part in how women feel about their bodies (negatively). There is a book called The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf that talks about this. I have not read it (but want to). You might like it / find it interesting, too.

Also, I think there really is a thing, a perception, where you look at your body, or an aspect of your body, and see it as "terrible" or "worse" than it really is. I used to obsess about my nose when I was younger. Also when I was thinner than I am now, I thought I was fat. I think its called body dysmorphia. It doesn't really matter what its called though. I think its important to know because if one isn't being gentle with themselves and is frustrated with that, it may be helpful to know its just an inaccurate or overly exaggerated perception that maybe they can't help. And perhaps in thinking that, they will adopt a gentleness.

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

How were you compassionate with yourself today? I took some time to relax.
What can you be gentler on yourself with? I should stop blaming myself for things out of my control.
What are your strengths? I am caring, I am tech savvy, and intelligent.
Why are you awesome? I'm awesome because I'm funny and donate to charity and help others when I can.
How were you kind to yourself today? I asked my care manager for resources.
How did you love yourself today? I treated myself to some chocolate.
How can you make things easier for yourself today? I can stop putting myself down.

I love this, Butterfly!! You are very awesome, and I love your reasons for being awesome as well as your other answers!!

[88Butterfly88]

Originally Posted by starrysky

I love this, Butterfly!! You are very awesome, and I love your reasons for being awesome as well as your other answers!!

Thank you, you are awesome too.

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Thank you, you are awesome too.