[RozG]

Does anybody have any advice on how to build assertiveness? I find being assertive almost impossible due to no self esteem and I think I'd be less scared if I knew how to be assertive.

Thanks to anybody who has advice.

[Perna]

Check this out: http://www.headinjury.com/assertquiz.htm

After you do the quiz, at the bottom is a skills builder page.

[RozG]

Perna you're a sweetheart.

oh and that's another page bookmarked, thank you.

[felina]

i took tha assertiveness test an only got two out of ten correct well, i am working on m skils daily and it is very difficlt for me cheers felina

[RozG]

but you are working on it which is good

good luck to you and i'm sure you'll find being here helps with that coz it's helped me.

[felina]

i am just wondering why is it so difficult to be assertive assertive with some people and not so difficult with others. i mean, i can easily be assertive with some coworkers, for example, or some family memebers, but not others. with some others, i feel scared, i mean i literally feel scared to answer them assertively....it is where i really want to speak up but cannot, i feel scared, my heart races, and then i feel mad when i do not speak up.

i do not think i was always like this either. as a teenager, twenty years ago i was known to speak up in the family and at school. now, since, i don't know, the last ten years or so, i have been quiet and very unassertive. how can i get back to being assertive?

maybe my zoloft is not working as much. i have been on it since 1998

cheers felina

[RozG]

hmmm...i have problems being assertive regardless of who the person is so i can't say why you're ok with some and not others.

but i would ask for your meds to be reviewed, just coz the length of time you've been on the same thing and if it's not working...?

[Junerain]

I agree- the dominant person I submit to, the person approaching me with low self esteem and cowardness I can easily dominate....I guess I'm a chameleon......becoming more like whoever is around me, adapting to that personality, and finding my new role......here's something about chameleons...

http://www.zmag.org/ZMag/articles/oldalbert4.htm

[chiz]

Hello,

One way to develop your assertiveness is to be with assertive people. You'll get influenced by them and eventually develop your assertiveness and communication skills as well.

[RozG]

Thank you chiz...that's very good advice.

[DeepThoughts]

i have a problem being assertive too. i think my problem, though, is that i don't like confrentation.

[nowheretorun]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
RozG said:


Does anybody have any advice on how to build assertiveness? I find being assertive almost impossible due to no self esteem and I think I'd be less scared if I knew how to be assertive.

Thanks to anybody who has advice.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

when being assertive we want to bear in mind the emotional being of the other persons involved.. if we wish for satisfaction from others, it is best to take their own best interests into account... in other words, dont bite the hands that feed you, but do stick up for yourself.. hope this helps..

[RozG]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
nowheretorun said:

dont bite the hands that feed you

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


totally depends what the hand is trying to feed you....and what is in the other hand...and what is up the sleeve....don't you think?

(((((((((((((((Roz))))))))))))))))))))))

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo exactly