Assertiveness

Hi Everyone,
I wasn't quite sure where to post this, but I'd like some feedback on what you would do in this situation.

I find this a bit ironic, since I was just telling someone yesterday to be assertive (rather than aggressive) and now I'm struggling with the assertiveness issue myself. I seem to be able to assert myself with more confidence than I used to, but this issue has me feeling anxious.

I recently bid on a poster on Ebay, and in return the company sent me the wrong poster. I waited for this poster for over a couple of weeks and was excited at the prospect of winning it and receiving it. I even had a frame ready and a place picked out to hang it.

When I received the wrong poster yesterday, I promptly emailed the seller and told them they sent out the wrong item and instead of me posting negative feedback, I would work it out with them. Well they contacted me today, and told me they were sorry but the orders must have got mixed up. They told me there was no way of getting another one like it. They did offer to send me a couple of other posters to make up for their mistake. I told them no thanks, I really just wanted this one item that I bid on. I told them I understand mix ups can happen, and if they find this other poster than I would like an exchange.

I feel like posting negative feedback because they were careless (and I paid a lot for this poster, it came from England) but I have seen a couple of their replies to other negative feedback they have received and they are quick to put other buyers down or leave them negative feedback as revenge. I feel so disappointed and angry. I know it's only a poster, but it's rare and I can't get it elsewhere.

I am also not only angry with them, I am angry with myself for not knowing what to do. Should I leave them negative feedback and feel worse when they leave a hurtful reply? Or should I just let it go? It's silly to be so upset I suppose, but I REALLY wanted this poster and like I said I paid way more because I am in the states. I'd just like to know what any of you would do?

Thanks,
Sujin

What about leaving neutral feedback because they did attempt to fix the mistake? Neutral doesn't hurt their rating, it's just that - neutral. Something like, "Sent wrong poster, but refunded money." (I would wait until you actually get your refund though)

Then if they respond to your neutral feedback then you can respond - ultimately, it looks bad on them, not you. I know I don't buy from people who leave snarky comments after people have left them negative feedback I'm sure others feel the same. I just don't trust them.

Good luck!

I agree. Neutral feedback, or even constructive criticism but get your refund first.

I can understand your frustration over this.

Thankyou 1day and Sabrina, I had thought about leaving neutral feedback, I will most likely do that. I know this is a simple thing, but it upset me nonetheless because it just makes me angry that I sent out my payment to them immediately with all the info they needed and they still sent me the wrong item. I know mistakes are made, but they acted so casual about it. Oh well, a lesson learned I suppose. Thanks again!

Sujin

Wow I am glad I didn't leave the neutral feedback just yet. The seller answered my email and told me he is trying very hard to get me another copy. He is being very courteous and trying to make things right, so when and if I receive this item I will leave positive feedback. I realize people make mistakes and it's not like he did it intentionally. Kind of restores my faith in the human race when someone is being kind and showing that they do care afterall.

Sujin

Hi Sujin,

I think you did good. Using PC as a way of cooling down and sharing frustration is great and I think that we improve our emotional intelligence as a result. It helps me when I'm caught with something.

By the way, I'm writing an article on assertiveness at the moment. I'm trying to think of all the angles, and 'jumping the gun' is an angle I hadn't thought of.

Good post.

Cheers, M